Samah~~~
Again I was alone in the house sitting on the couch waiting for Abelardo to come.
I was engaged now but what didn't faze Abelardo were his maners. He never stopped coming home late and that was starting to give me a bad feeling.
As the clock striked two the house was still dead quiet with me lost in my thoughts.
I sat there leg crossed as I waited for my fiancé to come home.
At four that was when the door opened as his tall frame showed up on the door his hair messed bloodshot red eyes and buttons undone.
I immediately stood up and hurriedly walked to him but before I could reach him Lesley emerged behind him making me completely stop at the spot.
He didn't even spare me a glare he walked past me going to the stairs.
My mouth was opening and closing at the same time.
What just happened.
What was happening.
Lesley looked at my way and stood on one leg arms crossed smirking.
"So faithful I see" she said in her annoying voice.
I wanted to smack the vase that was next to me on her forehead.
"So sluty I see" I said imitating her actions.
If she wanted to play some games then I was not to back down.
"So your fiancé came running to me in the middle of the night and trust me it was rough" she said licking her lips.
"So my fiancé came to you in the middle of the night but at the end of the night he came to me" I said still in the same position.
Did he really do that.
"He left you for a reason Lesley and that reason will be the reason that he will never marry you.
Who is wearing the ring girl?
It is me so do me a favour and take the way that brought you here to where it took you.
Remember to close that door even though I would get it changed because you touched it." I said looking at her waiting for her to close the door.
She made a sound out of her throat but noneless walked out and slammed the door.
Was I going to get the door removed.
Heck no that money of buying a freshly coated French door would go to donations.
I swallowed the lump that was in my throat and took the stairs the same stairs that he took.
From the day I started sleeping with him he also suggested that we share a room.
I walked to my old room and opened the door to it.
It was neatly kept with the sheets goodly kept and the same four fluffy pillows on the bed still there.
I walked to the closet and took out some of my clothes that were still remaining here which were basically my old clothes.
I took the big white T-shirt that used to belong to Franco and walked to the bathroom room.
I walked out after a long bath and realized that it was five in the morning I threw myself on the bed without keeping the alarm.
There was no way I was going to wake up at six.
* * * * *
"Hey zoom out you are starting to scare me" Martha said snapping her fingers Infront of me.
It was four and Martha was sitting next to me in the t.v room where some movie that I don't remember was playing.
I couldn't blame her to notice that because I zoomed out uncountable times today.
Could you really blame me
I was having doubts about my so called and it was starting to annoy the living life out of me.
He wouldn't do that to me.
Right.
I knew old habits never die but it was worth risking.
I wanted to say yes when he proposed because it felt right.
My subconscious wouldn't have betrayed me right
"You are exaggerating and I know that you have someone Martha" I said fully turning looking at her.
He cheeks were flushed pink along with her ears.
"The movie is getting at the best part let watch it" she said turning away from me.
"Spill" I said sternly that it made her narrow her eyes at me.
I raised my hands up showing her to chill.
"It is the bartender that flirted with you that day" she said looking down with a smile.
Oh my gosh.
"Really? Did you sleep with him" I asked her with a smirk.
Ofcourse she did.
"Yes and I am still" she said her whole face turning pink.
Wow
"Seriously and he doesn't sleep with other girls because from what I observed I feel like you know" I said looking at her making her understand that I didn't really trust him.
"We are not in a relationship samah I just keep feeling an attraction to him and Everytime I tell myself to stop he pulls me to it" she said running a hand in her hair which was now growing because it was now pass her shoulders going to her mid back.
"He is sweet and has that piercing on his lip that makes me attracted to him and Everytime he talks I feel butterflies samah.
I dont want a relationship but he doesn't seem to let me go even one day I told him that we should stop" she said sighing loudly
She was going to cry really soon
"When I told him that we should stop he used his magic and Bam we were already in his bed and he kept asking if we should stop but all I kept answering was a no" she said shouting.
She was angry now.
"Can you believe me samah can you believe it.
He doesn't want a relationship with me.
I am only good for sex samah.
I feel like trash.
Can you believe that even after how I feel I still don't want to stop.
The way he doesn't want to let me go is the way I don't want him to let me go also.
I am stupid samah." she said as tears streamed down from her beautiful eyes.
She didn't deserve to cry.
She was just trying to be stronger than her feelings.
They would break her and leave her defenseless just like what happened to me.
It would leave her in the dark.
He was the one to save her and whatever he was saying was pushing her deeper in the hole that they both dug.
When Abelardo forced himself into me I spent a three weeks in room and all that I received were comforting and smoothing words from Martha and her mother in the morning and almost five when she was going home.
At night every night that Abelardo came home he would tell me the most ugliest words that exist.
The most hurting words that exist but no one knew anything about it.
I didn't live a life of chocolates here.
Abelardo was there to make sure of that.
Every late night he would come in my room slamming the door open and sitting on my bed.
The words that he told me when I told him to marry me were true.
He told me that I was getting married to a beast.
Every word I still remember it.
It was still freshly written on my brain.
I will give you what you want samah but know that you are marrying a beast the you would wish that you never crossed paths with.
One day he came in my room shirtless and pants with no belt and sat on my bed.
He started touching my bare thighs underneath the thick silk sheets that were covering me.
I scotched away from him bring the sheets with me to hide my naked self away from him.
The whole time he remained quiet not uttering a word only watching with eyes that looked dangerous to the point that I wanted to cry.
Was he going to force himself into me again.
He started moving closer to me as I let out a whimper and started breathing hard
He wouldn't do it again would he.
I brought my legs next to me and tears sterted to build up in my eyes.
I was getting scared and I was one step away from screaming.
He forcefully pulled my legs making my back hit the soft matress of the bed as he started touching me again this time close to the middle of my thighs.
My heart was drumming wildly as he did all that.
He brought himself on top of me as I let out a scream.
No one was going to hear me.
He immediately brought his hand on my mouth muffling my screams as I kept turning my head in every direction wanting to free myself.
"Shut up samah you wanted to marry me didn't you" he said as his hand travelled up in my shirt.
I wanted to die.
I started crying silently as I was left defenseless underneath him.
He brought his leg forcefully separating my legs from where I crossed them afraid that what happened repeat it self.
He got off me and sat again on the bed his hand away from my t-shirt as he watched me struggle to even sit up going to the same corner I was in.
"P... Please" I said my hands together like I was asking for mercy.
He looked at me for a long time and released a wicked laugh which brought goosebumps on my joint arms.
"Now you are begging I knew you wanted me samah" he said and started removing his pants as I shook my head tears falling.
I wanted to talk but I couldn't.
This time he pulled me using my arms as his big palms roughly held me in place with him trying to move the sheets away.
I kept shaking my head no whispering nos over and over gain.
My shirt was off in seconds as I heard the ripping of material sound.
I kept saying please no as he looked at me and slammed his lips on mine.
I felt myself going numb as he angryly hissed for me to kiss him.
In that moment the words that he said to me came back floading my head like they were mocking me.
You know what samah I will marry you but I will show you what liars like you get when they want to marry monsters samah.
As I was sinking in my thoughts I almost didn't hear his voice from downstairs shouting that he was home.
He never said that but for some unknown reason he did today which made me wonder why.
I heard his loud footsteps following the path that we took which led to the t.v room where I was sitting not knowing even that the movie ended.
I heard the door open as his head poked with a smile lighting up his whole face when he saw me.
When he looked in my sad and tear filled eyes his smile immediately droped as I stood up and walked toward where he was standing.
I opened the door wider making him remove his arm as I walked past him.
Before I could walk longer he jogged catching up with me and he stood and grabbed my hand.
I immediately stopped and looked in his questioning eyes.
I felt a single tear fall from my eyes and when he brought his hand to wipe it I immediately turned to the side and snatched my hand away from his hold procceding my walk.
When I reached in my room I closed the door locking it as I threw myself on the bed and brought a pillow as I started crying loudly.
My cries were muffled with the pillow and just like that no one could hear me.
I turned myself and looked to the ceiling my head paining more and more but did nothing to call for help.
My breathing started to shallow and the ceiling started to spin.
I heard a knock on the door followed by my name and I immediately knew that it was Abelardo.
I didn't open because I couldn't and had no strength not that I would have opened it if I was okay anyway.
I felt myself sink and everything went black.
* * * * *
"She will be okay Mr Mendoza but for now let her rest because apparently it looks like she has been overstressing herself" I heard the stranger say and the door close.
I fully opened my eyes and turned around taking in the surroundings.
I was in my room thank the heavens.
I finally met Abelardo's concerned and worried eyes.
"Water" was the only thing I said as I saw that water filled glass.
When I finished I passed him the glass and looked at him waiting for an explanation.
"You fainted samah
What were thinking when you closed yourself in here samah." He said he voice getting a little higher.
"Martha was dead worried I forced her to go home but I couldn't do anything for Mrs Walters who is busy making you soup" he said looking at me.
Was he finished.
"What happened yesterday Abelardo." That was what I wanted him to explain.
Not to tell me lies.
"Nothing" was the only answer I got in that voice that was meant to make you shut up and not add any other question.
"Then I was thinking nothing when I closed myself in here Abelardo because I was not worried about you.
Because I was not wondering what happened yesterday when you came home at four in the morning with your ex trailing behind you" I said back to him who avoided any emotions.
Right at the moment I felt like was not talking to Abelardo I was engaged to.
I felt like I was talking to the man who broke in my house two years ago.
"I don't have to explain myself to you samah if you trust me then you would know that I never cheat samah that is all you need to know.
We are engaged samah how don't you trust me" he asked running a hand through his hair.
He was talking about trust.
"Then why do you keep destroying the reasons I put up.
Why don't you give me reason to trust you then.
If it was you who saw me enter here at four in the morning with a stranger or my ex what would you have done?.
The usual to you.
You would have punched him and shouted at me for being a slut and unfaithful wouldn't you?" I asked him feeling my head start to slip again.
I wanted an explanation and him to tell me that I was wrong.
That he wouldn't say that to me.
But all I got was silence which proved me that he still would say all those words to me even now.
"I am faithful Mr Mendoza.
I do love you and would never accuse you of Something that I have no proof of.
But you are the opposite to that.
Do you even love me?" I asked that last question hoping for a better answer to make up for my head ache.
He didn't answer he voided any emotion and never met my eyes.
He didn't love me.
I let my tears fall as I watched him avoid any emotions.
"Get out" I said slowly as he turned to look at me.
"I said out!
Get out of my room.
I don't want to see you" I screamed at him who remained mutual.
I looked at the ring on my left finger and let out a loud sob.
He didn't propose to the main of love.
He lied.
I hated liars.
I slowly removed the ring off my finger and placed on the small night stand that was near the bed and saw him looking at me with his eyes remaining emotionless.
I bet he felt pleased when I removed the ring right.
I was not going to let this slide.
Because he didn't answer me it didn't mean that he didn't love me.
Right?
Something was wrong
Very wrong and I needed to find it out.
__________________________________________________________
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Okay okay have a nice daaaay. And night and life and week.
Sorry for this but then again see you lovelies in the next chapter.