It is July 15th. Lincoln is on the backstage trying to relax himself for the show.
"Alright, Lincoln, tear the shit out of them." he said. His name was called up.
He then put his hood over his head and ran onstage.
[ C U R T A I N S U P ]
"Torture chambers, secret passageways, vats of acid, and deadly vaults" the audience heard a voice on the speakers say. That's when Lincoln, wearing a black hoodie comes out They can barely see his eyes because he is wearing it so low on his face. He then starts rap.
Ohh!
Chk-it, chk-it chk-it chk-it
Ohh!
Gue—chk-it chk-it—Guess who's back? Frrk-it
I said, ohh
Gue—Gue—Gue—Gue—it-chk-it
I said, ohh!
Rrrrr-chk-it-chk-it—Guess who's back? Frrk-it
I said, man!
Chk-it-chk-it-chk-it-chk-it
Damn! Ohh!
Gue—Gue—Guess who's back?
Gue—Gue—Gue—Gue—Guess who's back? Frrk-it
Damn, it feels good to be back
Guess who's back?
I'm having a relapse
How the hell did he manage to get more felony charges?
He's already got life in jail, man, what the hell is his problem?
Well, to be honest
The smell of these chronic leaves make me hella demonic
They've compelled me to kill this elderly man
And I get these panic attacks, pop a Xanax, relax
Trying to stick my fucking dick inside a mannequin's ass
Then I get manic-depressed, see the orthodontist, get gassed
Man, it's kick-ass, the first thing I put on is the mask
Speaking of masks, man, it ain't too late to have a change of pace
And take it off and show my face, so you can see the things you face
And slice you up and cook you after you're murdered by strangulation
That's bacon souffle you making, ain't you? Well, thank you, Jason
There goes one more coma due to blunt force trauma
Just give me one more Soma and I'll be done for, mama
Go in the damn broom closet, another Valium, lost it
Shoving the vacuum nozzle, down the bathroom faucet
It seems like every day, I get a little flakier
The medication is making my hands a little shakier
Hand me that eighteen-month-old baby to shake him up
It'll only take me a second to choke his trachea
Breaking his neck in eighty-some places, baby, here Shady comes, lady
He's got the razor b-blades and the ch-ch-chainsa-saw, baby
You b-b-blundering, bumbling, m-m-mumbling dum-dums
Yeah, here I come-come, you hear the rumbling? Vrumm-vrumm
There's something inside of that blue tub and that drum-drum
A head and torso of someone; where'd it come from?
Who's it belong to? Maybe the girl with the long, blonde hair
Who disappeared and left her cheerleader pom-poms
Clearly, there's somethin' wrong, 'cause she didn't come home
She's missing, where is she? Something fishy is going on
I guess he stuck the bitch with the pitchfork with the long prongs
Now, everybody get your dance on to my damn song, come on!
The audience all clapped. "Alright..." the boy said, "Minasan, watashi ga daredearu ka o shitte irunara, watashi wa rinkān nowakudesu, watashi wa anata no shiritsu gakkō ni tōtte imasu. Watashi ni totte mottomo eikyō-ryoku no aru ātisuto no hitoridearu Eminem no kyoku o utaimasu. Zehi suwatte shō o o tanoshimi kudasai." (Hey guys, if you know who I am, I'm Lincoln Nowak, I go to your private school. I'm going to sing a song by Eminem, who is one of the most influential artists for me. Please sit back and enjoy the show.).
The crowd then clapped again.
Not Afraid
I'm not afraid (I'm not afraid)
Yeah
To take a stand (to take a stand)
It's been a ride
Everybody (everybody)
I guess I had to go to that place
Come take my hand (come take my hand)
To get to this one
We'll walk this road together, through the storm
Now some of you might still be in that place
Whatever weather, cold or warm
If you're tryna get out (just lettin' you know that you're not alone)
Just follow me (holla if you feel like you've been down the same road)
I'll get you there
You can try and read my lyrics off of this paper before I lay 'em
But you won't take the sting out these words before I say 'em
'Cause ain't no way I'ma let you stop me from causin' mayhem
When I say I'm a do somethin', I do it
I don't give a damn what you think
I'm doin' this for me, so fuck the world, feed it beans
It's gassed up, if it thinks it's stoppin' me
I'ma be what I set out to be, without a doubt, undoubtedly
And all those who look down on me, I'm tearin' down your balcony
No if, ands or buts, don't try to ask him why or how can he
From "Infinite" down to the last "Relapse" album he's still shittin'
Whether he's on salary, paid hourly, until he bows out or he shits his bowels out of him
Whichever comes first, for better or worse
He's married to the game, like a fuck you for Christmas
His gift is a curse, forget the Earth, he's got the urge to pull his dick from the dirt
And fuck the whole universe
I'm not afraid (I'm not afraid)
To take a stand (to take a stand)
Everybody (everybody)
Come take my hand come (come take my hand)
We'll walk this road together, through the storm
Whatever weather, cold or warm
Just lettin' you know that you're not alone
Holla if you feel like you've been down the same road
Okay, quit playin' with the scissors and shit, and cut the crap
I shouldn't have to rhyme these words in the rhythm for you to know it's a wrap
You said you was king
You lied through your teeth, for that, fuck your feelings
Instead of gettin' crowned you're gettin' capped, and to the fans
I'll never let you down again, I'm back
I promise to never go back on that promise
In fact, let's be honest, that last "Relapse" CD was eh
Perhaps I ran them accents into the ground
Relax, I ain't goin' back to that now
All I'm tryna say is get back, click-clack, blaow, 'cause I ain't playin' around
There's a game called circle and I don't know how
I'm way too up to back down
But I think I'm still tryna figure this crap out
Thought I had it mapped out but I guess I didn't, this fuckin' black cloud
Still follows me around but it's time to exercise these demons
These muh'fuckers are doin' jumpin' jacks now
I'm not afraid (I'm not afraid)
To take a stand (to take a stand)
Everybody (everybody)
Come take my hand come (come take my hand)
We'll walk this road together, through the storm
Whatever weather, cold or warm
Just lettin' you know that you're not alone
Holla if you feel like you've been down the same road
And I just can't keep living this way
So starting today
I'm breaking out of this cage
I'm standing up, I'ma face my demons
I'm manning up, I'ma hold my ground
I've had enough, now I'm so fed up
Time to put my life back together right now (now)
It was my decision to get clean, I did it for me
Admittedly, I probably did it subliminally for you
So I could come back a brand new me, you helped see me through
And don't realize what you did, ('cause) believe me you
I been through the wringer, but they could do little to the middle finger
I think I got a tear in my eye, I feel like the king of
My world, haters can make like bees with no stingers and drop dead
No more beef lingers, no more drama from now on
I promise to focus solely on handlin' my responsibilities as a father
So I solemnly swear to always treat this roof like my daughters and raise it
You couldn't lift a single shingle on it, 'cause the way I feel
I'm strong enough to go to the club or the corner pub
And lift the whole liquor counter up 'cause I'm raising the bar
I'd shoot for the moon but I'm too busy gazin' at stars, I feel amazing and I'm not
I'm not afraid (I'm not afraid)
To take a stand (to take a stand)
Everybody (everybody)
Come take my hand come (come take my hand)
We'll walk this road together, through the storm
Whatever weather, cold or warm
Just lettin' you know that you're not alone
Holla if you feel like you've been down the same road
The whole audience clapped.
"Arigatō arigatō. Sā,-ji no kyoku no jikandesu." (Thank you thank you. Now it's time for the next song.) Lincoln said.
Look, I was gonna go easy on you and not to hurt your feelings
But I'm only going to get this one chance (six minutes, six minutes)
Something's wrong, I can feel it (six minutes, six minutes, Slim Shady, you're on)
Just a feeling I've got, like something's about to happen, but I don't know what
If that means what I think it means, we're in trouble, big trouble
And if he is as bananas as you say, I'm not taking any chances
You are just what the doc ordered
I'm beginning to feel like a Rap God, Rap God
All my people from the front to the back nod, back nod
Now who thinks their arms are long enough to slap box, slap box?
They said I rap like a robot, so call me RapbotBut for me to rap like a computer must be in my genes
I got a laptop in my back pocket
My pen'll go off when I half-cock it
Got a fat knot from that rap profit
Made a livin' and a killin' off it
Ever since Bill Clinton was still in office
With Monica Lewinsky feelin' on his nutsack
I'm an MC still as honest
But as rude and indecent as all hell syllables, killaholic (kill 'em all with)
This flippity dippity-hippity hip-hop
You don't really wanna get into a pissing match with this rappidy brat
Packin' a MAC in the back of the Ac', backpack rap crap, yap-yap, yackity-yack
And at the exact same time, I attempt these lyrical acrobat stunts while I'm practicin' that
I'll still be able to break a motherfuckin' table
Over the back of a couple of faggots and crack it in half
Only realized it was ironic I was signed to Aftermath after the fact
How could I not blow? All I do is drop F-bombs, feel my wrath of attack
Rappers are having a rough time period, here's a Maxipad
It's actually disastrously bad
For the wack, while I'm masterfully constructing this masterpièce
'Cause I'm beginning to feel like a Rap God, Rap God
All my people from the front to the back nod, back nod
Now who thinks their arms are long enough to slap box, slap box?
Let me show you maintaining this shit ain't that hard, that hard
Everybody want the key and the secret to rap immortality like I have got
Well, to be truthful the blueprint's simply rage and youthful exuberance
Everybody loves to root for a nuisance
Hit the Earth like an asteroid, did nothin' but shoot for the moon since (pew)
Mc's get taken to school with this music
'Cause I use it as a vehicle to bus the rhyme
Now I lead a new school full of students
Me? I'm a product of Rakim
Lakim Shabazz, 2Pac, N.W.A, Cube, hey Doc, Ren, Yella, Eazy, thank you, they got Slim
Inspired enough to one day grow up, blow up and be in a position
To meet Run-D.M.C and induct them into the motherfuckin' Rock n' Roll Hall of Fame
Even though I walk in the church and burst in a ball of flames
Only hall of fame I'll be inducted in is the alcohol of fame on the wall of (shame)
You fags think it's all a game 'til I walk a flock of flames
Off a plank and tell me what in the fuck are you thinkin'?
Little gay lookin' boy
So gay I can barely say it with a straight face lookin' boy
You witnessin' a mass-occur
Like you're watchin' a church gathering take place lookin' boy
"Oy vey, that boy's gay", that's all they say, lookin' boy
You get a thumbs up, pat on the back
And a "Way-to-go" from your label every day, lookin' boy
Hey, lookin' boy, what you say, lookin' boy?
I get a "Hell yeah" from Dre, lookin' boy
I'ma work for everything I have
Never asked nobody for shit, get outta my face, lookin' boy
Basically boy, you're never gonna be capable
Of keepin' up with the same pace, lookin' boy
'Cause I'm beginning to feel like a Rap God, Rap God
All my people from the front to the back nod, back nod
The way I'm racin' around the track, call me NASCAR, NASCAR
Dale Earnhardt of the trailer park, the White Trash God
Kneel before General Zod, this planet's Krypton, no Asgard, Asgard
So you be Thor and I'll be Odin, you rodent, I'm omnipotent
Let off then I'm reloadin' immediately with these bombs I'm totin'
And I should not be woken
I'm the walkin' dead, but I'm just a talkin' head, a zombie floatin'
But I got your mom deep-throatin'
I'm out my ramen noodle, we have nothin' in common, poodle
I'm a Doberman, pinch yourself in the arm and pay homage, pupil
It's me, my honesty's brutal
But it's honestly futile if I don't utilize what I do though
For good at least once in a while
So I wanna make sure somewhere in this chicken scratch I scribble and doodle
Enough rhymes to maybe to try to help get some people through tough times
But I gotta keep a few punchlines just in case 'cause even you unsigned
Rappers are hungry lookin' at me like it's lunchtime
I know there was a time where once I
Was king of the underground, but I still rap like I'm on my Pharoahe Monch grind
So I crunch rhymes, but sometimes when you combine
Appeal with the skin color of mine
You get too big, and here they come tryin' to
Censor you like that one line I said on "I'm Back" from the Mathers LP One
When I tried to say, "I'll take seven kids from Columbine
Put 'em all in a line, add an AK-47, a revolver and a nine"See if I get away with it now that I ain't as big as I was, but I'm
Morphin' into an immortal comin' through the portal
You're stuck in a time warp from 2004 though
And I don't know what the fuck that you rhyme for
You're pointless as Rapunzel with fuckin' cornrows
You write normal? Fuck being normal
And I just bought a new ray-gun from the future
AUTHOR'S WARNING: THERE IS NO TURNING BACK PUT ON YOUR HELMETS AND FASTEN YOUR SEATBELTS
Just to come and shoot ya like when Fabolous made Ray J mad
'Cause Fab said he looked like a fag at Mayweather's pad
Singin' to a man while he played piano
Man, oh man, that was a 24/7 special on the cable channel
So Ray J went straight to the radio station the very next day
"Hey, Fab, I'ma kill you"
Lyrics coming at you at supersonic speed, (JJ Fad)
HERE IT COMES
Uh, sama lama duma lama, you assumin' I'm a human
What I gotta do to get it through to you, I'm superhuman?
Innovative and I'm made of rubber
So that anything you say is ricochetin' off of me and it'll glue to you
I'm devastating, more than ever demonstrating
How to give a motherfuckin' audience a feelin' like it's levitating
Never fading, and I know that the haters are forever waiting
For the day that they can say I fell off, they'll be celebrating
'Cause I know the way to get 'em motivated
I make elevating music, you make elevator music!
Oh, he's too mainstream
Well, that's what they do when they get jealous, they confuse it
It's not hip-hop, it's pop, 'cause I found a hella way to fuse it
With rock, shock rap with Doc
Throw on Lose Yourself and make 'em lose it
I don't know how to make songs like that
I don't know what words to use
Let me know when it occurs to you
While I'm rippin' any one of these verses diverse as you
It's curtains, I'm inadvertently hurtin' you
How many verses I gotta murder to
Prove that if you were half as nice, your songs you can sacrifice virgins too? Uh!
School flunkie, pill junkie
But look at the accolades the skills brung me
Full of myself, but still hungry
I bully myself 'cause I make me do what I put my mind to
And I'm a million leagues above you, ill when I speak in tongues
But it's still tongue in cheek, fuck you
I'm drunk so Satan take the fucking wheel, I'm asleep in the front seat
Bumping Heavy D and the Boys, still chunky but funky
But in my head, there's something I can feel tugging and struggling
Angels fight with devils and here's what they want from me
They're askin' me to eliminate some of the women-hate
But if you take into consideration the bitter hatred I have
Then you may be a little patient and more sympathetic to the situation
And understand the discrimination
But fuck it, life's handing you lemons, make lemonade then
But if I can't batter the women, how the fuck am I supposed to bake them a cake then?
Don't mistake him for (Satan)
It's a fatal mistake if you think I need to be overseas
And take a vacation to trip a broad
And make her fall on her face and
Don't be a retard, be a king? Think not
Why be a king when you can be a God?
The song ends and the whole audience stands up and cheers. Lincoln says, "Arigato, arigato."
After throwing roses at him, he says, "Heikai mae ni saigo ni hitokuse. Furīsutairudesu yo." (One last song before closing. It's freestyle.)
Nah, man, not quite finished yet
(I'm not just one of your many toys)
Haha, wooGirl, I think you just might've tried to pull a motherfuckin' fast one, I'm mad
You just hurt my goddamn feeling and that was the last one I had
Does this look like an arcade? Tryna play games? See this saw blade?
See this silhouette of a stalker in your walkway?
Better cooperate or get sautéed and rotisseried while you're hog-tied
MC's get so quiet you can hear a motherfuckin' dog whistle when I walk by
Colt Seavers on a mule, stuntin' on that ass like the fuckin' Fall Guy
I don't gas my Mercedes after midnight, I treat it like a Mogwai
'Cause it will turn into a Gremlin and run over kids, women, and men
Vrin-vrin, motor so big, you can fit a midget in his engine
Bitch, give me them digits, why you cringin'?
Not by the hair on my chinny-chin-chin
Will I spend-spend even ten cents on you, since when
Do you think it's gonna cost me a pretty penny? Shit, if I think a penny's pretty
Just imagine how beautiful a quarter is to me, eenie-meenie-miney-mo
Catch an Eskimo by his toe while he's tryna roll a snowball (you don't own me)
But don't make him lose his cool, if he hollers, better let him go, y'all
'Cause (you don't own me)
Now here we go, go, go
Get up, baby, get a move on like a U-Haul
You can rack your brain like pool balls
You won't ever think of this shit, yeah, honey, you called?
Well, here I come, Havoc on the beat, I wreak it
Evil, I see, hear, and speak it
Lady, put your money on Shady, fuck that other weak shit
Put your eggs in the same basket
You can count every motherfuckin' chicken 'fore it hatches
'Cause you can bet your ass that we gon' get it crackin'
Like the Kraken and Titans when they're clashin'
Get your brains bashed in so bad, you're gonna have Kurt Cobain askin'
To autograph a bloodstained napkin
Unfashionable, and 'bout as rational as a rash on a fag's asshole
Now let's take that line, run it up the flagpole
With Elton, see if he's cool with it
Don't stand there and look stupid at me
Bitch, I ain't in the mood for this shit
Get my dick, Google it 'til it pops up
Y'all are so motherfuckin' full of shit that you stopped up
Me, I'm always shittin' diarrhea of the mouth
'Til your speakers crap out, huh, what?
Girl, you got a hot butt like a lit cigarette (chig-chigga-ret-ret)
But you won't get a hot fudge sundae from me
So do not strut my way, slut, because
Now here we go, go, go
And now that I got your panties in a bunch and your bowels in an uproar
I'ma show you why I came, so you stop askin' me what the fuck for
Now look you little slut, cunt, whore, I know you want more
Bitch, it's time to put the math back into Mathers
'Cause I'm a fuckin' (problem), run, boy
Every flow, got it mastered so every last word that you fuckin' fags heard
Comes straight from the fish's ass, yeah, in other words, I'm a bass-turd
Lookin' at me like I killed Kenny, gas in the tank, yeah, still plenty
No morals are instilled in me, so remorse, I really don't feel any
Eat your heart out, Hannibal, understandable why you're jealous
Fuck an animal, I got cannibal magnetism, can't resist him now, can you, ho?
"Shady, I don't understand your flow"
Understand my flow? Bitch, I flow like Troy Polamalu's hair, boy
Don't you dare try to follow or compare, boy
I'm raw, you ain't even medium-rare, stay the fuck outta my hair, boy
You can look, you can stare, point, but you can't touch, I'm too (clairvoyant)
I don't get it, man, is there a void? All this weak shit, what am I, steroids?
Well, bitch, I'm back with some shit for that ass and your trunk, elephant (hemorrhoids)
And remember, boysNow here we go, go, go
The audience standing up and cheering.
Thank you for coming out
Hope you enjoyed the show
'Til next time
Haha, peace
He then took a bow and ran out of sight.
The crowd still cheered.
[ C U R T A I N S D O W N ]
To be continued...
End of chapter 91. Hope you all enjoyed! Peace out!
A/N: Eminem is one of the greatest lyricists and rhyme schemers ever.