Literally gonna drive all the way to Jacks to get me and H a wrap , not sure if it's worth it though to drive all the way there, could drive down to sprinkles and get us dessert
I told her I'd get one and we can half it cos I don't want her to be thirsty
Really wanna go castle red . I kinda wish I did today even if it was closed I could have parked up somewhere and went for a walk, every time I drive by it I always wanna go.
Not really sure what's going on with her iftar she keeps changing her mind and the date and time
I was literally craving a jacks the other day and whilst I'm there I'll get ice cream from subzero but that's if her plans change
She keeps changing her mind
So I just called jack
And he remembered me
And I ordered a wrap 😂😂😂 I was literally craving jacks the other day
So guess where I'm off to lol. Plus I'd like to support small halal businesses. I'll break my fast there.
I literally cannot believe I drove here lol but I was like when am I ever gonna drive here and he spotted me from outside the window in my car and waved. Was so cute. My friend wanted to speak to me so I was on call with her the entire time. I like solo drives too, first time drove to jacks and got myself a chicken tikka wrap and spoke to phoebe on the way 🫶🏼
////
Just got into bed I could have stayed out way later but honestly I was absolutely shattered and I had a headache. I'm glad I went I had fun. I'm kinda paranoid cos I think I was going like 35 in a 30 zone and normally I drive the speed limit but I think the camera got me. Dk how I'll explain to my parents I was in cphilly lol unless I say I went for a wrap I was craving😂
Anyways I need to wake up at 8am to call the dentist, but good night diary.
Think I'll sleep straight away. So full as well alhamdulilah but I don't like eating so much but it was rude not to.
00:39am
——
I slept in and forgot to call the dentist for an emergency appt😭 I had an alarm but probably slept through it that's how tired I was. I put my alarm for 4:30 and guzzled water like no tomorrow lol. I'm gonna do a day full of uni work cos I thought we had three weeks off for Easter but it's actually 2😭😭😭 starting to feel the pressure now.
I'll talk about my day yesterday later
12:03pm
——
I was clearing out my room today, and look at what I found. The diary i kept when I got my phone taken off me. I kinda read through it briefly. I always used to keep diaries, it's something I've always done but I much prefer an online one now.
So let's talk about yesterday and then I'll talk about my day today.
Went to work, barely got any sleep I had like 3 hours of sleep. I was really excited to work in eye surgery but turns out I wasn't 😂 it's fine though. I ended up doing 6 hours of e learning and honestly I had to redo a few of the tests like 5 times I'm not even joking. People there are really friendly, people I wouldn't even speak to or work with would walk by me and notice im doing the e learning and try and help me, they're all super friendly. I did manage to finish the entire e learning. I have one module left which is optional so I don't have to do that, and one more which is cpr. I did one cpr module at the end of the day but have to do the other one on Tuesday.
They kept telling me to have drinks from their really lush drinks machine it was torture lol cos I love the hot chocolate from there, even though I've told them it's literally Ramadan 😂 but i know they do it out of good intentions, some people genuinely don't know what Ramadan is and it shocks me but maybe they just haven't ever been around Muslims. I was even really cold at one point and the senior nurse went and got me the theatre jackets you can wear and I thought that was so sweet. When I was finished , I was walking out and seen the receptionist needed help, theyre two women around my age, and they were asking this technician guy (idk who he is but he helped me around the hospital before and he was so lovely, probably my dads age) and I was like ah I can help you guys, I'm not doing anything and they were like are you sure and I was like yeah honestly , and then the tech guy came and he was like it's okay I got it and then a woman came walking down the corridor saying if anyone's lost their keys and she had keys in her hand. They were my car keys, imagine 💀😂 I had dropped them. So I thanked her and then the tech guy (I think his names Steve?) was like see that's good karma, what good you do comes back around, you wanted to help the girls even though your shift is done and then someone found your car keys. Idk I found that cute and heart warming . But I genuinely think everyone's like that though, to help out when you can. Regardless of shift ending or not.
I walked out and seen the nicest blossom tree. It was so beautiful.
And then I spoke to A on the phone. Went to a shop and finally seen they have snickers ice cream. They have the bars like the snicker ice cream bars everywhere but the tub is basically sold out everywhere and I've been looking for this tub for MONTHS and it was FINALLY right in front of my eyes 🤩 buttttt and this is a big but, it would have melted and things and I didn't know how long I'd be out for. So I walked away😔😞.
I drove to cdiff, I spoke to Isra and Ilham and my friend Meg, not all at once lol but separately. I wanted bubble tea from this new shop but they had a queue and also my phone was dying so I went to charge it. I always take my charger with me everywhere and sometimes it's useful cos other people use it too, my friends know I take my charger with me so they ask to use it if they need to. Sometimes I don't even wanna take my charger with me on days I know I won't need it but I take it anyway in case someone needs it.
I then drove and got jacks which I still can't believe it did but I think it's important to just venture out sometimes. And I spoke to phoebe on the phone. I love the fact she could talk to me and texted me saying she felt low and wanted to speak to me. I put the screenshot of that earlier.
So I listened to her and tried to give her advice and things and I spoke to her all the way to the drive to Ayrton's.
His house is immaculately clean. At one point, I walked in the kitchen to wash my hands and everything was wiped down like I could tell everything was clean. And it smelt fresh. It's a good trait to have mashAllah.
We chilled downstairs whilst my phone charged and things, and he pulled me into his lap and I snuggled into him , honestly I was so close to falling asleep at one point. I was SO tired and being around him, feeling comfy and loved and safe just did it for me, genuinely could have fallen asleep if I wanted to. He waited to break his fast the same time as me, I respected that to be fair, he could have drank water and things when he normally breaks his fast but he didn't out of respect and I didn't expect that cos I know how hard he finds the water bit of it all.
I said the prayer quietly in my mind , idk why I feel shy to say it out loud sometimes in front of him, I did a quick prayer in my head before eating as well. For the homeless, for the hungry and other wishes I want, like my parents to be in good health and things. And when I sat at the dining table, best believe I ate jacks 🤤 it was quite salty. I think if i wasn't fasting I probably could have finished the entire wrap but you know when you're fasting, you get full quicker. So I had a bit left at the bottom and I felt bad throwing it away I don't like throwing food away I think it's so wasteful and yes I know , this is coming from the girl who can't finish her food sometimes but genuinely I wish I took that last bit of the wrap home with me I could have had it later but in the moment I was really full, I was done. I couldn't stomach anymore food though.
He had two sandwiches. Idk howwwww it fills him up for the next day. I need a meal for iftar. Sometimes I think of Imam Ali who would give his meal to the orphans and he'd only eat a date , and then fast the entire day after on just having a date the night before. There's a reason they were imams. I respect the prophets and imams and I hate it when people , even some Muslims, are disrespectful towards them. My own uncle who doesn't have a religion is disrespectful sometimes and it infuriates me. You can not have a religion that's fine but please do not disrespect, I don't understand what you gain from it.
He gave me water and I took two water bottles with me. Walked me to my car and omg now that I think of it, we kissed in the rain. that's cute lol.
And I drove down to H's. Route was kinda scary it's the most I've ever concentrated when driving probably. I think I got booked by a traffic light speed camera, inshAllah not.
I couldn't really be bothered for H's but once I got there I'm so happy I went. Her family were all sooo chilllll. They're so welcoming and I got on so well with them, I think they like me. I was cracking jokes and things (the worst dad jokes ever lol but it made them laugh so it is what it is 😂) We are kinda similar in age and one of them literally goes Hel can we take a picture together and I was like omg yeah of course! Her uncles came and things and they all know me and things , and I held her baby cousin. They dressed me up in Pakistani clothes, not really but kinda at the same time and we took pics. H put in a lot of effort bless her, I'm gonna invite her down for Iftar at mine. My parents want her to come over. I've hosted Iftar for my friends in the past, Ilham and our other friend samah came down once as well, a few years ago when my parents were out and I drove them back to their house.
I'll probably do the same later next week and invite them all down. It's good to feed people during Ramadan as well.
I could have come home way later if I wanted to, my parents were okay with me being out late cos they knew I was with H but I was really tired.
I like driving when the roads are clear. I got to sleep around 1am.
So now today.
I absolutely DOWNED water when I woke up at 4:30am. I woke up really late but I needed the sleep. Woke up to a Welsh accent coming from downstairs, my parents had called a builder or something to see the house for something. He had a really strong welsh accent. I tidied my room and did the washing using the fabulous lenor 😍 it was a cleaning day for me today idk why I just felt like cleaning. Maybe seeing A be all tidy inspired me.
I didn't do much today. I had a nap. I didn't even want one I was just chilling in bed and next thing I know I'm knocked out I'm so tired. I haven't watched any tv lately like barely any Netflix or films or anything. I woke up and prayed the afternoon prayers and pretty much spoke to Ilham all day. In fact she's the first person I spoke to today and I think I was also the first person she spoke to. She called me as soon as she woke up and we kinda woke up at the same time.
Anyways, A called me when he was food shopping and the meat in that shop is HALAL WHAAAAAT. I was actually pleasantly surprised, I wasn't expecting it. Fair play to them.
And then I ate dinner and it was so good. I couldn't finish it but I left it on the side to eat later cos I knew I would, and I did lol, I finished it like an hour later. I had dessert I always have something sweet after a meal. Even if it's something small but I just have something sweet lol.
Work texted me asking what shifts I can do in may and i told them I am pretty much on placement for the most of may and I have an exam too but I could do the end of may any date Between the 27-31st may and she said that's fine every little helps.
I realised something in work on Thursday. They basically think I know everything 💀 they're gonna be in for a shock. The one nurse who is kinda in charge of me said that she isn't too worried cos she knows I'll pick things up quite fast as im learning things in uni. They have high expectations 😭😦 kinda felt the pressure lol I don't wanna let them down or myself down.
Im now in my room and the Yankee candle black cherry & vanilla is smelling soooo gooood it's my favourite candle scent I think and gingerbread comes second. Yankee candle makes the entire house smell soo good. I try not use this scent as much cos it's my favourite one so I try and savour it but it's pretty much finished, remember how I said the gifts I really want is a Polaroid , ysl libre or that Gucci perfume and maybe hoodies. I'm gonna add black cherry Yankee candle to the list lol. It'll probably finish tonight I've had it on for a few hours.
Even though I've had a nap, I'm really tired and I'm gonna let myself sleep cos in a months time I'm gonna be staying up and losing sleep over exams and uni and I'll be getting the bare minimum.
I've saved the best til last. The absolute highlight of my day.
Ayrton. The man that he is, I swear.
He knows how much I love snickers ice cream and honestly how long I've been looking to buy it and eat it and things. He sent me a pic and it was of the empty section of the snickers ice cream and I'm not gonna lie, it killed me. I was devastated, there wasn't that many yesterday so I know it's in high demand probably so it kinda made me upset. BUT, and this is the biggest but of them all. HE BOUGHT THEM FOR ME.
DO YOU REALISE THAT??!! Let me repeat. He bought 4. Not one, not two, not three but FOUR, snicker tubs for me 😭😭😭😭 the smile I smiled when I seen his text. Honestly you're probably thinking wow it's only ice cream calm down but it's not even that, it's the thought process. I'm someone who truly admires someone's thought process and the fact he knew I like snickers ice cream and have been wanting it for ages, and he got it so I could have it. It melted me. Not only that but he got flying saucers too and I had mentioned that I was craving it yesterday to him. It was something so small I didn't think he'd remember . He really is thoughtful. Honestly I can't express how much that meant to me.
He cheffed it up in the kitchen today. I'm glad he ate an actual proper, balanced meal. Nutritional. It looked good.
I listened to a bit of the Quran today, my favourite surahs are surah al rahman and surah yaseen. I quite like the name Yaseen for a boy. I find the Quran peaceful to listen to, but it depends on who's reading it. We have the Quran on in our house and I like it. They said angels visit homes in which the Quran is played.
I got the idea from Ilham cos they always have the Quran or some duas in their house and I like it. It brings a calm and peaceful environment naturally.
I've found fasting alright this time round alhamdulilah. Normally I get quite hungry but all I've really had is a headache but I've been finding it okay alhamdulilah.
Anyways.
Cannot believe it's April tomorrow. Lol it's April fools.
Food tonight. Saffron rice the Persian way:) had salad and fruit salad on the side.
Good night diary
23:04pm