I woke up sweating. I fluttered my eyes open and took in the area that i was in. Where was I? This is definitely NOT my room and why am I sweating. I try to wiggle around, but something or perhaps someone isnt allowing me too. I look down and I see a head full of curls in my arms.
Oh No.
Why was I here? All that couldn't have been true. Me forgiving Harry. I'm so stupid and vulnerable. I hate it. Seeing him cry was probably the worst thing I've seen in a while. It was so weird for Harry to cry, because I've always known him to be Mr. Tough Guy. He never showed his emotions and now that he did, I know this was serious.
I think the only reason why I, quote on quote, "forgave" him, was to stop him from crying. at least thats what I'm telling myself. The real reason is because I was tired of all this bull. For some reason all this fighting isn't worth it. People make mistakes, I get it. I've made a few in my lifetime as well and if I was in Harry's situation, I'd want another chance also. Even though in my book, I've gave him one too many.
When he said he wasn't giving up, he kept his word. I know he did. If he didn't then why was he still here? Why wasn't he at some sluts house? Why was he crying in bed and when he saw me his face softened? If he really, truly didn't care, he wouldn't be here now and I now that for a fact. Because I'm the one who gave up. I left him. Not intentionally, but I did.
"Beth." I heard a small, raspy voice whisper under me.
"Yeah, Haz." I whispered, running my hands gently through his curly hair.
"I love you." He faintly said.
"I love you too." I blurted. It was just an intention to say. But, Did I though? Did i love him? I mean if I didn't love this boy, I certainly wouldn't be here. I would be with Josh and Trevor. After all he's put me through, any girl would run away. But for some reason, I don't. I stay for that one reason and one reason only.
Because, I love him.
Then a thought occurred. We weren't together. He was the one who called a break. That thought ruined the moment, completely. He probably doesn't want me. He probably feels bad for me, that's why he said he loved me. If I don't stop over-thinking now, my heads literally going to explode and I ain't cleaning that mess.
"Haz." I said. He muttered a 'hm' In response.
"Why?" I asked.
"Why, what?" He said sitting up from my embrace and now looking me in the eyes. I couldn't read his emotion because his face was unreadable.
"Why did you cheat?" I squeaked, trying to hold back the tears. They were already lined up on my waterline and if I were to close my eyes or even blink, they would fall. Then he'd know I'm weak. Vulnerable.
"I honestly don't know..." He said looking down at his hands. Wow.
"You don't know?" I said. Oh shit. There goes the tears.
"Oh Beth, please don't cry. You're making this harder for me." Geez. Is everything about him?!
"I have feelings too Harry." I snapped. He reached to wipe away my tears that were falling onto my cheeks but I swatted his hand away. I don't know why I did that, but I was scared. Scared that he might hit me. Who knows what he's capable of.
"Why did you do that?" He asked looking defeated. I think he was referring to me swatting his hand away..
"I-I thought you were going to h-hit me." I said. Crap. Another tear.
"Bethany, I'd never hurt you!" He said coming closer but I scooted away.
"That's a lie." It was. He had hurt me numerous times.
"That's the past.."
"But you continuously did it.." I said.
"You forgave me Bethany. Last night. Was that all a joke to you?" He replied to me raising his tone. He was scaring me.
"I-i don't know." I squeaked, barely enough for Harry to hear.
"What?! I can't hear you!" He said two times louder than last time, towering over me with his vein popping out of his neck.
"H-harry..."
"WHAT."
I was now sobbing. "You're scaring me." I said through the tears. Once I said that he sat back down and his face now looked at ease. He's a monster. Harry, my Harry, has changed. His temper has gone over the edge and I was afraid of him.
Just then, Niall came into the room. "What's going on- BETH?!" He said and ran over to me. He picked me up and I wrapped my legs around his waist, with my ankles linking together. I nuzzled my face into his neck. He smelled so good, and I missed him so much.
"I missed you.." He whispered into my ear, with his thick irish accent. It sent chills down my spine.
"I've missed you more, Ni." I replied back and he set me back down on my feet. He gave me a kiss on the cheek, basically kissing the tears away and turned to Harry. Shit. This isn't good. NO BUENO.
"Were you yelling at her?!" Niall yelled towards Harry. I flinched at his tone.
"I-I- yes." He said looking ashamed. I can judge by his stuttering that he didn't want to lie to Niall.
"WHAT THE FUCK HAS SHE DONE TO YOU TO MAKE YOU YELL AT HER LIKE THAT?" Niall exclaimed. I hid behind Niall, because I was scared Harry might snap. Please. Please, don't.
"I DONT KNOW, OKAY!" He exclaimed and Niall was about to charge him but I grabbed his arm and his tension subsided.
"IT SOUNDED LIKE YOU WERE ABOUT TO BEAT HER!" he yelled. I rubbed his back and he started easing up. "You have caused her so much pain Harry. Can't you fucking see? She's scared of you! You could've hit her again!"
Tears were now streaming down my red cheeks and I tried not to make my sobbing visible.
"Yeah I know! But last night she forgave me, Niall." Harry said. Niall turned towards me and now I guess it was my turn to speak.
"Is that true, Beth?" He asked raising an eyebrow and putting his hands in my shoulder.
"Yes. But I didn't know what I was saying." I heard Harry scoff and Niall was about to charge him again but I grabbed his wrist. "I appreciate it Ni, that you're trying to defend me, but this is Harry and I's problem."
"Alright. But I'll be standing outside the door to make sure things don't get out of hand, princess." He said and gave me a kiss on the forehead. He turned around to face Harry one more time. "Don't. You, DARE, lay a hand on her." He said through his teeth and walked out of the door.
There was an awkward silence and I still was letting tears fall from my eyes silently.
"What are we?" Harry asked, from across the room.
"I don't know. You wanted the damn break." I snapped, but soon regretted it. "I-I'm sorry." I stuttered.
"Why are you apologizing? If it weren't for me, you wouldn't be going through this. I'm the one who should be apologizing." Harry said.
"We aren't together." I said.
"Okay."
"But, if for instance, we wanted to get back together, I would have to gain your trust." I said walking over to the side of the bed where Harry was and sat next to him. I took his hand in mine. "I'm willing to give it a try if you are."
"Deal." He shook my hand and I giggled.
"But I'm still going to tell you I love you, because I do. You know that if I didn't, I wouldn't be here right now." He said stroking the back of my hand.
"I know." Is all I replied. I grinned at him and sat up and stood over him.
"Well, we should go downstairs and retrieve Niall from his duties." I said and he took my hand.
"Alright."
________________________________________________________________________
A/N:
This chapter was eh.
I had Niall feels so DONT JUDGE A SISTA.
Peace, sorry for any mistakes cause I didn't proofread it loloollolliichsnfhskc
xx Naomi