Oh My Rowling! I think this is the happiest I've been in a while! Thanks to you guys!
Gosh, over 2000 reads! And over 100 comments! That alone makes me happy, but then, just before writing this, I thought to myself, maybe you should check you email, in case anyone commented. And guess what? They did!
More specifically, Truenotme and Lace_Arsenic! Omg, these comments made me so happy! They even commented on my other story, which I had almost given up on. Thank you both.
Before I go on, the latter commenter has given me a reason to rant about Glee( Thankyouthankyouthankyou!) so I'm going to, happily.
Kurt's sexy faces were pretty much the funniest, cutest, least sexy thing I've ever seen! I love Kurt so much, and I don't see why they are trying to make him sexy when he is so adorable and innocent! Also, that thing he said about how the sexiest thing on Broadway is finger touching was so incredibly sweet, and it reminded me of Wicked. Kurt is so adorable! Also, For an episode called Sexy, there was not enough Blaine! He is the sexiest person on the show! In the mirror scene, when Kurt was doing the funny faces, Blaine was doing the Smoulder, without even trying. Seriously, if Blaine actually TRIED to be sexy, the world would explode from screaming fangirls and awesomeness. Seriously.
Also, Quinn and Finn are whores( excuse my language), Pizez( puck and Lauren) is adorable, despite them being incredibly... What's the word? Umm not shy. They're still cute :) and Mercedes needs a boyfriend, specifically Wes, the most amazing extra ever! ( I recently discovered that he has been both Angle and Steve in productions of Rent. I knew there was a reason why I loved Steve so much!)
Ok I think I'm done. I just had to get that out. I am completely and totally obsessed with Darren Criss, so I squeal whenever I see Blaine :) ok, so thank you for the excuse, and for all of the other comments!
I think I should also say thankyou to Actinconverse, who still comments every time.
Thank you all!
Ok, so the rest of this video comes in... 4 parts I think?
First, the introduction of some new characters, including some villains, a friend-sort-of, and Temporary number one, aka T1. Second, my exposure therapy and some regression. Well, a lot of regression. But also some progress. Third, some thoughts on recent events. Last but not least, thoughts on writing, past, present, and future. Ohh one more! A revelation about life!
Part 1
I thought my story needed some villains. I've noticed that I have only named myself( Unknown) and my friends( the Fs, plus S). But I haven't named an antagonist. So here goes:( and if any of these people ever read this, I am truly, deeply sorry; I know I shouldn't be judging, but I'm just trying to be true to the story, and these just happen to be the people who I consider villains. They may be wonderful people, just not toward me. Disclaimer: most of these people are seem through the eyes of a stranger. With a few exceptions, I have never talked to these people, but they. Strike me as villains despite that. I know it's wrong. Please forgive me.) also, these villains will only last until the end of the school year.
The douchebag troupe: a group of guys in my gym class. I haven't said two words to any of them, but they bother me to no end. It's not them personally; it's what they do. They are constantly disrupting class. There really isn't a way to explain it except that they are douchebags. They constantly show off and act dumb. I feel kinda bad for saying this, but I really can't stand how they act. Ergo, they are now villains. But only minor ones. I will probably only mention them is passing. If I ever refer to ____ douchebag, it is one of these people. The female equivalent is the group of sluts in the same class, but they don't have a name, because they are just generic "teenagers" who follow the stereotype and aren't really worth mentioning.
V1: this is a specific person, and therefore gets his own name. He is pompous, annoying, conceited, and worst of all, smart. He's one of the smartest people at the school, and he knows it. He is mean to everyone, but is even meaner to his friends. I "strongly dislike" him because he is constantly contradicting people, and the teachers love him, even though he cheats his way through everything. Grrr.
Strangely, that's all I can think of at the moment. But the db-troupe has like ten guys, so it's worse than it sounds. And I will think of more, don't worry. Oh wait, here's another one:
Myself: I constantly put myself down, and I miss out on so much because of how much I hate myself. :/
Other characters:
T1: a senior at our school who is kind of the leader of the acting kids. As much as I try to like him, I really don't. I just hate that everyone else loves him. He's temporary because after he graduates this year I'll never see him again, but he's still there just enough to be somewhat influential.
And finally, F7? It's the girl who used to sit with me at lunch but left with some other girl. I talked to her a lot today, and I think I can almost call her an F, because she might become more influential in the future.
Part dos! Exposure!
So I'll start with the good news! Parts 3 and 4 are offially complete!
Part three occured at a play at a high school with F5 and S. I had a conversation with a random stranger. Well, sort of. F5 was talking really loudly before it started so this girl in front of us turns around and jokingly says that she is just gonna listen to our conversation. So we start talking to her and I mention that she looks like Alexa Vega the actress, and she goes, what did she act in? And we say, Repo the genetic Opera, and she goes, You are my new best friends! So it turns out she loves Repo as much as we do, and it was a successful conversation!
Part four occured at church. I was sitting with my friend and the church was singing and I just felt happy. But I don't sing in public ever, so I was just sitting quietly. Then a song comes on, and it's one that in remember from when we used to go to summer camp, and I sang along. Which I haven't done in years. I was proud, and kinda happy.
Now the bad news:
My first regression occured at a party in Spanish class. Everyone brought in Mexican food. I of course wouldnt eat any. I'm very uncomfortable with my weight, and I don't ever eat in front of people if I can help it. A few years ago it got to the point where I would cry in the car rather than go inside a restaurant. So that disappointed me a little.
Second was today at lunch. F4 wasn't there, so I was alone, and I read my book( the Mazerunner, not very well written, but a good story). It made me feel pathetic. It wasn't really my fault, but still.
Part tres!
Thoughts on events. So T1 has been playing theatre games with our class lately. It's really intimidating. It's like trying to impress someone with something they are a professional at. Like trying to show off your math skillz to a geometry teacher. Scary. But it's fun, and it's a good start to my day.
Also, a lesson in honesty: my teacher who is terrible at technology accidentally gave me extra credit in the online gradebook, and I told her about it today. She let me keep the extra credit and Sao it made her happy to see someone who wants good grades but gets them fairly. Its a winwinwin: the teacher likes me, my grade is a 105, and my conscience is clear ;)
Part cuatro! Writing:
Past: so when I was reading all of the new comments by Lace_Arsenic on my earlier stories, I read some of them, an was surprised to find that they are not as bad as I thought. Sure, some of my problems are trivial, and I can be kinda dramatic, but I think I'm doing ok. I'm glad I started this; I like looking back, even if it was only a few months ago.
Present: writing still makes me feel better. An now that the month of nonstop work is over, I should be able to write more. I think the constant work has stopped me from having time to be sad, cuz I've been happier recently. But we'll see if that continues.
Future: I'm thinking about centombing my other story. Or starting a new one. Just a short one, cuz I can't commit to writing consistently, but I really wanna write something, and even the small comments are appreciated.
Also, I just wanna mention that I am still open to reading stories, you just have to ask. Even I'd it's months later, just ask.
Ok, so my revelation: you only live once! I have heard it millions of times, but it just sank in. I'm only gonna have one freshman year, one college experience, one family, one chance. I can't throw it all away cuz I'm lazy or sad. I have to go for it. I don't know why this suddenly hit me, but I realized that my mom settled for my dad. And molded her life around it. She never accomplished her goals because she settled. I'm not going to, on anything. I'm gonna get a good job, have an impact on the world, and when it comes time to start my life outside of school, I will NOT throw it away. I promise.
I feel better. This was a long one. Thanks for listening, and commenting, an voting. It makes me happy :)
DFTBA, my amazing readers. (parting is such sweet sorrow! I couldn't help it; too much Shakespeare!)
Goodbye and goodnight.