The world just stopped for Jeon Jeongguk. It was a question even Jeongguk doesn't know the answer to. Or maybe he doesn't think there's a need for answering that. And here he is, never thought this day will come when he has to reply to the author of the diary himself. Jeongguk stood silent. The earth under his feet was stealing by the strong glares of Taehyungiee hyung.
"I-I..."
He stuttered a bit, failing to look at the flawless face in front of him. Taehyung sighed and shook his head.
"How many times I told you Kookie, to not read my diary. It's a secret. It's my privacy. Why are you doing this again?"
Taehyung asked. His voice was stern but soft. Almost like desperate. Jeongguk felt bad about it. Why is he reading the diary if Taehyung doesn't like it? He stood there, searching for words in his head.
"I didn't read it, Taehyungiee hyung..."
He said almost like a whine. The name rolled out of his mouth automatically and without him cringing at it. It sounded so natural. Jeongguk was whining and pouting. He doesn't want Taehyung to be mad at him. The frown on Taehyung's face turned to a shock when he heard another voice.
"He read it. I know. I've seen him reading your diary, Tae..."
Jimin. Park Jimin.
Jeongguk cursed under his breath. He saw the said male laying on Taehyung's bed shuffling and hugging the blanket in his peripheral vision. The younger shoot a strong death glare at Jimin. There was a smug smile on Jimin's face. But the next moment, Jeongguk smirked. He got an idea.
"Oh, really? Then I think shortie has something to tell you, hyung..."
Jeongguk said. He doesn't know how the words formed and how he said all of that. It was just like another day he living, it was all-natural to talk like that. Jeongguk smirked at Jimin with satisfaction when he found the other sitting up on the bed looking like prey. Jimin's eyes are on Taehyung and the latter was maintaining a confused expression.
"Jiminie...?"
Taehyung whispered at Jimin. The said male smiled softly and stood up from the bed. He scowled at Jeongguk and said.
"Hey, I was messing with him. I didn't see him reading your diary. Now, wrap this up. And come to eat breakfast. "
Jimin smiled and waved his hand. He walked out leaving a very stupefied and flabbergasted Taehyung and satisfied Jeongguk behind. What was that?
Shaking his head, Taehyung glanced at Jeongguk, waiting for the other to say something.
"Hyung... I'm sorry... I was a bit... Curious... I will not repeat it... Sorry...~"
Jeongguk said. He searched on Taehyung's face for forgiveness. And when the other smiled a bit, Jeongguk felt relieved. He was caught off guard when Taehyung pinched his cheeks. Like seriously? The next moment, Jeongguk witnessed the most beautiful smile.
"Okay, for now. I forgive you...
Let's go. Jin hyung will eat us if we joined them late again. "
Taehyung said and Jeongguk tried to smile at the cheerful voice. He felt like his eyes oh so badly wanted to see that smile every day, he wanted to listen to that voice and talk every time. Nevertheless, Jeongguk followed Taehyung in silence. They ate breakfast, chatting about random things, Jin jokes, and funny talks.
By now, Jeongguk realized one thing. The 'he' in GangBangtan is a wholly different one from the other he. This one is joyous, more fun, and committed to his beloved ones. He has great friends and this Jeongguk will do anything for his friends. This Jeongguk is goofy and crazy who doesn't care about anything, especially social status and image. This Jeongguk is stubborn too but obsessive over his things. This Jeongguk is mature like the other but cares a lot about his friends.
He was dipped in thoughts when Jimin smacked his arms. He looked at the other. Jimin frowned and said.
"Let's go, Iron man. We will be late for our practice."
Jimin pushed him sliding his backpack and adjusting his cap on the head. Hobi joined the male and walked towards the door. Jeongguk's aware that Jimin and Hobi were dance majors. Then why are they calling him too?
The most important thing Jeongguk found out is he was living the life he once wished to have. Not only GangBangtan, not only having great friends, not only being goofy and careless. But he was living the dreams that were a fantasy for him; next to impossible.
The male remembered how he loved dancing. He was a keen learner. Dance was his passion. But things changed and time played a real game, Jeongguk left that passion for something else. He blinked twice as standing up, humming a song to himself.
"...I wanna dance
The music's got me going
Ain't nothing that can stop how we move, yeah
Let's break our plans
And live just like we're golden
And roll in like we're dancing fools..."
He didn't know from where he got it. But smiling wide, Jeongguk followed Jimin, swaying his hips slowly. He stole a glance from Taehyung before fading into the hallways. Taehyung returned the gaze with a soft smile. If it's true, then the bond between him and Taehyung was a lot different, stronger, and something more. Jeongguk oh so badly loved this. The time, the fate, and the game.
The dance was fun. He knows if he gets a chance he will rock the stage. And the passion you bury deep is a fire, it only intensifies from time to time. Jeongguk enjoyed dancing very much. There's no one to stop him from doing what his heart wanted. No one will lock him in his room and make him pledge to not dance again. It's his time.
The evening was cool. After classes and practices, they gathered at 221, eating snacks and having a sleepover. Jeongguk never did that stuff. And he was so excited. They picked a movie and of course after a lot of bickering with Jimin and him over choosing Iron man and Frozen, Namjoon picked Train to Busan. Great.
They sat in silence as the movie started. Jimin was on the left of Taehyung and Jeongguk was on the right. Jin and Hobi settled on the other couch, cuddling and being cozy. Namjoon was opposite to them. The movie was going well until Taehyung was a bit sleepy and moved to Jeongguk's side. The said male glanced to see Jimin cuddling with Taehyung. He sat silent and concentrated on the zombies. That was better.
When it was half time, Jin stood up to refill the snacks and popcorn. They stretched a bit. Taehyung snuggled to Jeongguk's biceps and the younger felt his body burning like fire. He wanted to Push the male but his heart was chanting something else. It was silently telling him to relax a bit and move closer so that Taehyung can lean on him. So he did that.
"You're so warm, Kookie..."
Taehyung said. His smooth voice caressing the goosebumps of Jeongguk's heart. The younger felt he will faint right now when Taehyung put his head on the crook of his neck, nuzzling to him. Hot breath fanning on his neck and Jeongguk held his soul and sanity in his hands. Right, sleepy Taehyung is clingy and cuddly.
The movie ended and credits rolling down. Hobi opened his eyes, peeked through his boyfriend's shoulder, and checked if there are any zombies around. Namjoon laughed at the male. Dimple. Jeongguk noticed it. He was staring so long at all of them and their happiness and forgot Taehyung cuddling to him. Jimin nudged him and Jeongguk came out of trance.
"Do you want me to carry him to bed?"
Jimin whispered, not to wake up Taehyung. Jeongguk was about to say something, but Jin cut him off.
"Why? Jeonggukkie is doing this whenever we have sleepovers. You come with me, let's set up the dinner table. Hobi is too scared to move from here. We will wake up Tae after set up the dinner."
Jeongguk looked at Jimin. He was taken aback by what he heard. But he wasn't rejecting the idea of carrying Taehyung to bed. He shook his head and took a deep breath, then carried Taehyung to bed. Tugging the sleeping beauty under the blanket, Jeongguk stared at him a bit. The flawless face glistening in the purple table lamp in the room. He smiled unknowingly.
Turning around, Jeongguk paused when he found the very familiar fairytales. The diary. It was overwhelming. Taehyung's next to him, a blink away. But still, they're not close. He can't have him. And it was all crazy and scary.
Jeongguk remembered the words he told to Taehyung, to not open the diary. But he was impatient to know where he's standing now. He wanted to know what happened to them. And Jeongguk sneaked Taehyung's sleepy figure.
Without making any sound, he walked to the balcony and opened the diary. He knows it's wrong. He shouldn't. But, he wanted this.
A euphoric feeling settled down on the back of his head and the center of his heart when he realized that the diary hasn't changed. The handwriting, the words, the stories everything in the diary is the same. Just like he paused reading. How funny, everything changed, even Jeongguk too. But not the diary.
Jeongguk turned the pages and stopped where he last read. Yes. That terrifying last page.
°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•
Traitor!
°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•
Deserved. Jeongguk mumbled in his head. Of course, the Park Jimin here is different from the Park Jimin he knows. Not too much. But yeah, he broke the promise. He betrayed Taehyung telling him that he will stay with him forever. But no, Jimin left first. Traitor. That what he's. That's what you're, Park Jimin.
Nevertheless, there's one thing. If the diary is permanent, then the things in the diary are true, whatever Taehyung wrote was true. Jimin left. Jimin left first so that his soulmate, Taehyung won't be alone there. Is Park Jimin a traitor? No. In that sense, Jimin was already there where Taehyung will be later. Jimin didn't leave Taehyung to be alone in this world.
Maybe, he was decorating heaven to surprise his best friend.
Jeongguk decided to believe it like that. That way, it's better. His heart is better.
°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•
Taking a break.
Went home with Jieun. My family loved her. She's really sweet. I can't sleep now in my apartment. It's just walls for me. Stopping me from dreaming about a lot. From dreaming about you.
As much I hate to be here, but the dream catcher and the polaroids of us not letting me go. We were in love. I mean, I'm now. And I know, you too. Even from a different Youniverse. I hope you're happy there.
°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•
The shuffling sound from the bed made Jeongguk jump on his spot and he closed the diary. Placing it silently from where he got it, Jeongguk looked at Taehyung. The male was waking up. The cute pout curling into a smile and hazel eyes gazing at him.
Jeongguk was breathing fast. He remembers what he did, what he read. He felt bad for Taehyung to go through a lot. And even this close to the boy, he couldn't pull him into a hug. Closer yet so far. That's what they're.
Jimin's loss is a void. And no one can fill that in Taehyung's life. Jeongguk clearly knows that. And yeah, he doesn't even have a plan to be Jimin. He wants to be Jeongguk for Taehyung.
The elder looked at him with grabby hands. Jeongguk chuckled lightly and helped Taehyung to get up from the bed. Smiling at each other, they joined others for dinner. Even though he was loving to be here, he can't discard the electrons and butterflies that explode on his body every time their eyes met.
He can't neglect the way his heart thumps fast and the red string of his fate tightening and pulling the certain male towards him. But Jeongguk has to do this. He doesn't have any option other than letting the feelings fly far away from him.
He has a life back there. A past and future, very different from this present. Nothing is permanent. But yeah, none of this is a coincidence.
What do you think I'm doing?
Share your thoughts...
Take care
~AnecdotesOfABroken