The next morning, Dashawn was gone. I woke up later than usual and took a shower. I was throwing on some sweats when I got a notification. I checked my phone and it was Briana.
Briana: Hey, how are you?
Me: Good, just got out the shower. Wbu?
Briana: I'm good. You know Cairo, Derek, and Brandon are leaving in a few days. Cairo mama throwing them all a farewell party.
Me: When is it?
Briana: Tomorrow
Me: You can't say no. You've been blowing everybody off. Even though we used to it, it would mean a lot if you surprised them and came. We all haven't seen you in months.
Me: okay
Briana: REALLY!
Me: Yes
Briana: Damn okay, I wasn't expecting that. Send me your address and I'll come pick you up.
Me: It's okay. I got a car now
Briana: WHAT!!
Me: Yeah. Send me the address and time and I'll be there.
I was a smiling mess. I miss talking to Briana even if it's just through text. She sent me the address and I laughed to myself before dread started to fill every ounce of my body. What the fuck am I going to wear? No one knows I'm pregnant and I don't plan on telling anyone. I jump up and scramble through my closet. Fuck, fuck, fuck. I'm barely showing, but someone will notice. I just know it. I was about ready to text Briana back that I can't come when my phone rang.
I quickly picked it up and spoke before Robyn could even get a greeting out.
"I need your help."
"W-what's wrong," I could hear the panic in her voice.
"Oh, I'm sorry. I'm fine. The baby is fine." She released a long shaky breath.
"I'm sorry," I cringed.
"It's fine. What were you going to say?"
"Oh, umm I'm going to a party tomorrow. Not like a party party, but a gathering of some sorts. My friends from high school are leaving out of the state and going to colleges across the country. I was invited, but they don't know I'm...you know. So, I need help finding something to wear. Something cute, I guess, but not tight. Maybe something black. Black hides everything."
"Ohhhhh, this is serious serious," she says.
"Yes, exactly." She squeals from on the other side of the phone. I've never heard such a noise come from her.
"I see why you scared me half to death. Okay, I'm on my way. I'll bring some stuff I think could fit you. I'm on my way."
.....
"This is pointless," I say shimmying out of another dress she brought with her, all which were too tight.
"I don't wear dresses."
"You should. They suit you."
I shook my head. I didn't know if it was the hormones or what, but I stormed into the bathroom and slammed the door shut before breaking down.
"Asha," she says jiggling the door handle.
"Open the door. Do not lock me out."
I ignored her. I caught a glance of my body in the mirror since I was only in a bra and panties. I looked away and sat on the toilet.
"If you don't open the door I'm calling Dashawn."
"No don't. I just need a minute. Please give me a minute," I pleaded with her.
She doesn't say anything so I take about five minutes to gather myself.
"Asha-"
I opened the door before she could finish her sentence. "I'm fine," I mumble.
"Let's take a break and get something to eat."
I only nod.
After more hours, I finally picked something that I was comfortable with.
.....
Tomorrow came faster than I wanted it to. I got up early and took some time pressing out my hair, something I spent hours watching videos on YouTube for. I watched so many videos that I could do it in my sleep. I wanted to make sure that my hair would turn out like I just got out of the salon, and it did.
It was way better than I could have imagined. Damn right, it took me three hours to do, and another thirty minutes to trim my ends, which I also watched videos on.
When I was done, my hair was flowing down the middle of my back. I want to cut my hair shorter, maybe some time in the future. For now, I was getting used to the length.
It was three in the afternoon and I was told to be there around four thirty. Yesterday, I chose a black denim dress that stopped mid thigh. I thought it was too much, but I paired it with my black Dr. Martens and both Robyn and I loved it. The dress was light, and since it was in the style of a shirt dress, it wasn't at all heavy like other denim materials. I was happy about that.
The dress also had a belt, so I loosely tied the belt around my waist and my belly was perfectly camouflaged.
I sprayed on some victoria secret perfume and headed for the door. I locked up and made my way to Walgreens to pick out some cards. I bought the best ones that I thought suited each of their personalities. Then, I spent thirty minutes writing a long letter-style paragraph in the cards for each of them. I sealed them up and stuffed them in a bag.
I put in the address and was off. I was so fucking nervous, but I wanted to see them before they left for school. Who knows when I will get the chance again. I was the most nervous to see Cairo. I pulled up at Cairo's house. I have never been to his house, only Brandon and Briana's. I parked along the long line of cars already stacked up on both sides of the street. I could hear loud music and laughing from where I was a few houses down. I could already tell that this was gonna be an old-schooled backyard barbecue. I got out the car and straightened my outfit before texting Briana that I was here. Not even a minute later, she came bounding down the street to me, practically skipping.
"Damn, you look so pretty," she said taking me in. I almost burst into tears. Fuck, I am a terrible friend. I missed her so much. I hugged her and she hugged me back. We stayed like that for damn near minutes. When we pulled a part, she had tears rolling down her face. That was enough for me. I burst out into my own. Briana never cries.
"I missed you," she pouted.
"I missed you too," I said embracing her again.
"Oh wow," she said pulling away and keeping me at arms length.
"I've never seen you so dressed up."
"I tried," I sniffled. She wiped my tears and I wiped hers.
"Come on, there's so many people, let's go." She grabbed my hand and I followed behind her.
We made it into the house and it was crawling with people, all laughing and talking animatedly. Briana briefly introduced me to people as we walked by. I waved but didn't hold eye contact for too long.
We got to the backyard and I heard a familiar voice, "Oh shit!" Ashanti came jogging over to us. I embraced her. When she pulled back, she said the same thing Briana said, "I've never seen you dressed up."
"That's what I said," Briana chimed in.
"Fuck, April would kill to see you. She would jump on the next flight here if she knew you was looking like this," Ashanti hyped me too much. I palmed my cheeks trying not to blush.
"Is that Asha?" I barely turned to see Brandon before he engulfed me in a tight hug, not giving me enough time to brace for it. I did my best to make sure he didn't squeeze me too hard since he is much stronger than Briana and Ashanti.
"Hey Brandon. Where is Derek?" I wanted to get all of these introductions out of the way.
I met up with Derek. He was much more gentle than Brandon was. They both gassed me up, especially Brandon. I didn't know where Cairo was but I assumed that I would run into him sooner or later.
We all took some seats and started talking about everything from school to hopes and dreams. I didn't have an answer for the last part. About an hour of me drinking just water, I had to pee. Briana showed me to the bathroom and I was about to pee on myself before I hovered over the toilet. I'm not even four months yet and I already can't hold my pee. I washed my hands and assessed myself. I retied the dress and left. On my way out, I ran into a fucking brick wall, at least I would have if hands weren't held out to stop me. I looked up and locked eyes with Cairo. My breath caught in my throat.
His eyes raked over my face, my hair, my outfit, just everything. I wanted to shy away from his gaze, but he wouldn't let me as his hands were still holding onto my arms as if I was still at risk of running into his brick wall of a chest. I slowly walked into his chest and wrapped my arms around him. He still smells so good. For some reason, I don't know, I feel like I belong in his arms. It feels so comforting, so safe. I love Dashawn, but I can't deny that Cairo stirs up emotions inside of me. His presence still gives me butterflies, as corny as it sounds.
"You look good," he mumbles into my hair.
"So I've been told multiple times," I joke.
"I got you a card," I blurted out, not knowing what else to say. I pried myself out of his arms and tugged him out of the hallway. I let him go and he followed me to the backyard. We got back to the rest of the group and I handed out the cards. I told them to read the cards later. Cairo took a seat by me and we all continued the conversation from where we left off. I could feel Cairo staring at me the whole time. To keep him from distracting me, I fiddled with my hands and drew small figure eights on my thigh. After awhile, most of us got separated. Only me and Cairo were left. He turned my chair to face him and I laughed.
"I thought they would never leave," he smirked down at me. I smiled and he bit his lip.
"I ain't ever seen you genuinely smile so much. You seem good," he said.
"I am." He pulled my chair even closer to him and I stuck my foot out to stop him.
"Why you so far," he chuckled.
"Cairo-"
"Let's talk," he said.