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Oh god, whom I will tell this? Not like I don't have people to tell...but...
The better option is Joon himself. That would mean confession? No way...
What's there to say? What kind of feeling is this? Is it love? No. Wait, then attraction? That can't be. I feel more than that, right?
Never mind, I'm a crazy man. I'm insane. I haven't any assignments to do. That's why I'm writing my stupid things in this. Hey, dear diary, don't mind me...
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Jeongguk closed the diary and his eyes. He was confused as Taehyung. The untitled feeling he explained through his words that made Taehyung insane also made Jeongguk sit dumbfounded. It's 12:26 at night and Jeongguk was fully awake with the help of a cup of coffee.
His normal days are back. He was not afraid of anything. The surrounding was fine. He felt positivity inside and outside. His clean and blank mind him want to read more. Did he start shipping Tae- Joon?
No way.
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Joon sat next to me, a smile on his lips after long days. And that made my day. Maybe it was a simple smile. But that dimple. Ah!
Nothing went normal after that smile. Every time he turned to look at me, I felt shivers running through my spine. I felt goosebumps all over my body when he caught me red-handed. Fun fact, it's just two of us there.
Joon lightened a cigarette. I hate the smell and the smoke. But when it was him, everything is fine for me. Am I mad or something?
The blank expression just vanished when he asked. And made me feels like something that I don't know how to express. The normal face of Namjoon hyung looks so endearing. Smile looks good on you, Joon...
"What's going on...?"
Wait, what? How did he know about my crush? This, can't be happening... Oh, God... I mumbled something as a reply.
"Nothing... I just..."
You just what? Oh, Kim Taehyung. You're Pathetic. You can't even lie abo---
"What's in your hands?" He asked. Oh, that... Umm... I was holding a book. To be honest, a comic. I love reading them and watching animes and webtoons. They don't have specific age to watch, right?
"It's a... Book... A comic..."
I replied. He looked at me with not so surprising expression. What's he planning?
"What genre you like to read?"
He asked while tapping the cigarette ashes on the step. It was nice. Snap out of it, it's a cigarette.
"Umm... Fiction, scientific... the horror... Thriller... Comedy... Romantic..."
I tried not to ramble. But that's impossible. Because reading books is one of my things. My type. I found Joon smiling lightly in my peripheral vision.
"Thought so..."
Huh? His words and the next moment, he was searching for something in his bag. What was that? Will you give me your secret notebook? I will not tell anyone. Pweease...
No.
"Here... It's a good one. Let me know your feedback about it..."
Joon hand me over a book. The cover was beautiful. I guess this book has a big place in his heart. Because somewhere there's a special glint in his eyes. He might admire it or the author.
"Confession of a mask."
The title read. But one question was still there. I gathered a little courage and asked.
"Do you read books?" I blurted out. Joon was looking at me with a raised eyebrow. What?!
"No, I frame books on my wall.
Oh, come on, Tae. I read them... I love to read them. Do you think I'm that tasteless monster?"
He said with a teasing smile. God, I've seen this kind of smile only with Jimin and Hobi hyung. Not you, Joon. I shook my head as a no and sheepishly smiled back.
Wait a diddly darn minute,
He said my NaMe! My freakin' name!!!
He called me Tae...oh my moon Goddess... He just called me Tae... Breath baby... Breath...
Do you think I'm crazy? Well... Hell yeah...
This is Joon. He never says anything to me... He never compliments, he never smiles... This is insane...
Then there was a pause. The silence between us killing me. Please say something else, Joon...
I was praying inside. My mind was thinking from college to politics, world war, etc... Just to start a conversation again. But it didn't happen.
"Where are the other guys?"
Finally, Namjoon asked.
"Jiminie and Hobi hyung has practice. Jin hyung said he will be in the library."
"So, you're spending time with yourself? Am I disturbing your me-time?" -Joon
No. No. No.
"Yeah... I mean... I'm spending time with my self and no, you're not disturbing anything..."
I blurted out. A small smile was there on his lips. Thank God, I hadn't embarrassed myself more. He knows I'm an introvert and loves to spend time with myself.
The next minutes were silent. Neither two of us asked nor replied. It was comfortable. Under the sunshine of dusk, away from the loud, just the two of us.
I know one day, the morning will come and rip us apart. One day we will have to leave ourselves alone. One day, the dusk will be scared of dawn. Why can't evenings stay like this forever? Why can't people stay by our side? Is that impossible?
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Jeongguk rubbed his eyes asking the same question to himself and then the photos on the wall. He knows the answer.
"How will we enjoy the beauty of midnight if evening stays forever? How will we enjoy the calming morning breeze if evening stays forever?
You'll get tired of permanent one day..."
Jeongguk whispered to himself. His eyes stayed there on the wall of the living. The photos and the quote...
None of this is a coincidence.
He sighed, turning one last page of the night in the diary.
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I've been calling your name in this Universe
(Now I need no space)
I got Youniverse
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Unknowingly, his fingers touched the beautiful letters. Universe to Youniverse. Is that for Joon? He doesn't know. Whom will he ask? None. But something around him or maybe his superstitious mind telling him that it's not for Joon. It's not to hear to the world.
Something in his heart chanting like Taehyung hide those lines in the diary so that no one could know about it. An ultimate secret. And Jeongguk read it. Wait. Is it only Jeongguk who knows about this, Tae?
Closing the diary and chanting the two lines, Jeongguk leaned on the couch. Is he planning to sleep on the couch today? Guess he is. The officer hugged himself and comfortably laid on the couch letting sleep take over.
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The street was clear. It was a crescent moonlighting the dark sky; alone. The heavy rain before two hours made the footpaths and roads wet and now sparkling in the street lights. The weak but crispy wind brushing the species around. Everything seems alluring and mesmerizing.
The silver earring playing with the wind while he was walking through the footpaths. The sounds of their footsteps making a rhythm in that silent night. The dark and meaningful tattoos were caressed by the smooth wind, feeling the freedom to eternity.
It's cold. Unknowingly his hands moved to wrap around the slender waist. It pulled the figure next to him. The tiny and cold body moved closer to his heart, head lying on his chest.
The soft silver hair touching his cheek and the fresh strawberry shampoo scent washing all over his body. He inhaled deeply to feel the lavenders that calming the loud and wild beatings of his heart.
Once again, his arms pulled the waist of the boy closer to him, making the crescent eyes looks at him. It wasn't a common pair of eyes. The odd hazel ocean- people call it eyes. The dim light of the night touched his face. It's flawless. Ethereal.
A warm smile on both of their lips. The galaxies in his eyes staring at the others' universe. Their hands linking, fingers molding together like puzzles. His tattooed arms encircled around him, trapping the fragile boy closer to his chest. They stayed like that for a moment, and the world stopped. With his fingers playing with the silver earrings and the other hearing to his heartbeat. Euphoria.
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Dark. Even after opening his eyes, it's all dark. The coffee cup fell and broken as he tried to move his leg in panic. The visuals are clear. His nerve system working very well. He was completely surrendering to something that will never happen.
His blood froze and the fantasy he just saw is now painting in front of him on the white neat wall. Crisp and clear. And that's when he realized. His tattooed fingers holding the silver earring that he was wearing as a pendant on his neck. No.
No. No Jeongguk, No.
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So, who's gonna tell him that he, Jeon Jeongguk is supposed to investigate the suicide case of Kim Taehyung...? Hm?
Just a reminder...
~AnecdotesOfABroken