FORTY SIX
SLIPPING A PAPER between old reports, she pushed the box back into place in the shelf, leaning her back against it and letting herself slowly slip onto the wooden floor. (Y/n) then rested her arm over her knees, chin above her arms as she peered upward towards the ceiling.
She'd lost track of the days that slipped by. It felt like she had always lived here somehow, with a repetitive routine she stuck to. She could even say she was a part of Mondstadt, for her face became a regular you'd see passing by in the streets.
The window then hooked her attention, and so her (e/c) eyes wandered towards the glass pane.
There was a butterfly outside, and for the strangest reason, her focus was kindled over it. It was one of those moments where you just stare at something and can't look away. It was a soft yellow, and it rested over the sill for a few seconds before finally disappearing behind the wall.
"Hey princess." A voice made itself known. It was Kaeya. "Is the workload finally getting to you?"
(Y/n) met his gaze with the turn of her head. "Not really," She said. After all, her routine became so repetitive, every task seemed like second-nature by this point. "I just have a lot on my mind."
Kaeya's eyes darted across her face. Behind his normal expression, he wondered what was going on in her head. If something was bothering her, he hoped she knew she could rely on him.
Standing up, (Y/n) casually strolled back to her desk, leaning her arms against it. "Did you need something?" She asked.
The man looked as if he'd just snapped back to his senses. "Well, I was wondering if you could help me with something," He said. "It's nothing taxing. Just a favor, if you will."
She kept her gaze fixed on him as he continued.
"You see, Noelle's been feeling down lately. And I hate seeing her push herself too hard," He explained. "Do you mind checking in on her if by chance she crosses your way? I'm sure it'd brighten up her day."
(Y/n) glanced up for a second. "I guess I can," She said. "I might as well go now. I have to go see Hertha anyways."
With a quiet sigh, she walked around her desk and made way for the exit. (Y/n) passed Kaeya without even looking at him. He watched her back as she disappeared around the corner, his expression then relaxing now that she was gone.
The man took a few steps forth towards her empty chair, hovering his hand above the desk. From what seemed as though it were thin air, a flower manifested by use of his vision appeared between his fingers. It was cold, but that didn't bother him. He gently placed it down, his hand then moving towards the pen (Y/n) had left. He took a blank sheet, wrote a few words inside, folded it, and tucked it next to the flower.
Kaeya gently placed his hands in his pockets as he walked away from the scene. But before he could completely leave, he stopped in his tracks. His head glanced over his shoulder, eyes glossing over what had caught his attention with a slight smile finding its way across his lips.
❦
"Not that your efforts weren't appreciated, but if you wanted to ask me for a bit of my time, you could've just said so," (Y/n) told Kaeya, referring to an earlier hour when they were in the same room.
The two currently sat outside the Angel Share's tavern, catching shadows as the sun pushed through.
Earlier he had asked her to check on Noelle. And afterwards, when she had came back to her desk, (Y/n) was rather surprised to find a crystal-like flower sitting above a small hand-written note.
A mist rolled over the petals from the inside, spilling over her hand as she picked it up and held it closer towards her face. Though it was merely a few inches away, she could still feel it's cold temperature reaching her nose. As for the note, it was from Kaeya asking to meet later in the day.
The said man shrugged his shoulders. "Fair point. But, where's the fun in that?" He smirked.
She pressed her lips together to suppress a smile. "Of course you'd think that's more entertaining."
Reaching for the drink in front of him, Kaeya peered into cup. "I think I'll need a refill for this," He said. "Is there anything you want? I could get it for you."
(Y/n) pondered. "...I always get the same thing. But after having it over and over, I think I'm tired of it."
A light went on in Kaeya's head. "In that case, why don't I suggest some of the fanciest ones there are?" He asked, keeping in mind she possibly had a refined taste. But before he could even begin naming a few, he noticed how bored she look hearing about it, her expression fading like a star that slowly disappears in the night.
And then, that's when it hit him.
In Fontaine, she must've had all the finest things to drink given to her by the sound of a bell. There was probably nothing he could suggest that'd be on par.
So what would be different then? He thought to himself.
Having that in mind, he then asked. "On second thought, how does cheap beer sound? We could grab some and head off somewhere else."
Kaeya watched as her eyes flickered towards his face with a small look of curiosity.
"Oh, I've never tried it before..." (Y/n) had this faint smile on her lips, as if the mere thought of it was something she was never allowed previously.
"Well, then. Let's go get two bottles and be on our way," He said.
Her gaze followed him as he stood up. His appearance was so luminous in the setting sun, she couldn't look away. It was so pleasant the way he looked.
That was when he glanced over his shoulder, his visible eye staring straight at her. "Come on now," The ends of his lips curved upward. "It's a beautiful afternoon. Let's not throw it away."
❦
Having just traversed quite a lengthy destination, the two ended up seated before the massive ruin that was this ancient amphitheater of sorts. They sat over a ledge, their legs dangling against the cold concrete. The sky above their heads had begun to turn from crimson gold to shades of purple and blue. Where then a few stars had emerged from beyond, tiny and scattered as more gathered from night's unfolding arms.
Kaeya handed her a bottle, noting when their hands brushed against the other. He then averted his gaze, glancing up towards the jeweled heavens as if there was something there he was interested in catching glimpse of.
All the while (Y/n) lifted the bottle close to her face, taking a gentle whiff. But the strong smell made her crinkle her nose, and it showed on her face the way her brows and eyes furrowed in dismay.
The man couldn't help but chuckle at her reaction, having seen it from the corner of his eyes. "I still remember my first time," He said. "So, don't feel pressured into trying it. Alright?"
But (Y/n) shook her head. "I'm going to try it," She said. "Just give me a moment..."
Kaeya smiled warmly, averting his gaze elsewhere as his heart skipped a beat. He felt it surge through his body, this lighter than air feeling. It was startling, but a good kind of startling.
"Tell me, whats Fontaine like?" He asked. He wanted to think of something else other than his own heart.
"...Nothing special, really," (Y/n) said. "But, there's this town in Fontaine known for its beauty. Petrichor. I had visited once with both my parents, and it has the most wonderful site of a majestic waterfall."
"Maybe one day, if it is permitted, you can come and see it for yourself," She continued. "Just the two of us."
Kaeya stared at her, his lips slightly agape. Did she even hear what she said? Just the two of them? He was surely dreaming at this point.
"But, before you make any plans in your head..." She teased. "I have to warn you. The only way to travel through there is by air rail."
His visible eye blinked a few times. "...Air-rail?" He repeated with this wide look.
(Y/n) nodded. "The roads of Fontaine, they're all built mid-air. You can see absolutely everything from up there."
Kaeya glanced back towards the view, his eyes darting across the landscape as he tried to picture the city in his own head. He tried to imagine what that'd look like, thinking of a clear blue sky with a poorly thought out transport swiftly passing by up above. He thought back to her journal, the one he didn't mean to skim over. She'd expressed this homesickness. And how it was hard at first adjusting to a life unliked the pampered one she'd been born into. But like anything else she sets her mind to, she somehow found a way to balance this new experience.
He still felt bad about it. The journal, he meant. If anything, it was probably in actuality a diary for all he knew.
It can't be left unsaid that had it been anyone else, he could go his whole life never admitting to have read their secrets and thoughts. He was like that, after all. Using things like this against people and watching the shock on their face as his lips loosely formed harsh truths he'd come across by chance. It was satisfying to see their eyes turn wide at the fact he knew their underlying thoughts and intentions.
But this, this was different. It was different because it was (Y/n). Though he could technically still wove a few of her secret confessions here and there, he knew in his heart it wouldn't feel right to see the same dread in her eyes as did others at the realization he knew more than he should.
And so he made up his mind.
"Listen, (Y/n). There's something I must confess to you," He began. But then (Y/n) had made an odd sound that caught him completely off guard.
Kaeya snapped his head around, catching her with the rim of the bottle pressed to her lips. Her (e/c) eyes were wide as she met his gaze, lowering it back down in embarrassment.
"It's... dry and... malty," She bit her lips.
(Y/n) then lifted the bottle to where she could see the label on it, at the same time trying to get the taste out of her mouth.
"Sorry," She set the glass down. "What were you saying?"
Kaeya stared at her. If it weren't for what he wanted to tell her, he'd have teased her by now about her cute reaction.
"Yes, I..." He began, but then corrected himself when he lost track. "I wanted to come clean to you about something I stumbled upon a while ago."
(Y/n) slightly raised a brow.
"The other day when your friend from Liyue came to pay you a visit, I reached for what I thought was an ordinary book you indulged in," He began. "But I was wrong. By the time I realized what it was, I had already skimmed a few pages."
A silence cascaded over them, but only for a minute.
"You read my journal?" (Y/n) asked. After all, it was the only thing she kept where she placed her thoughts and unsaid things into pages. What else could he have read that he'd be apologize for?
He then slowly nodded.
(Y/n) stared off into the distance, as if she were pondering about something and needed time to think about it.
After a few minutes, she found the strength to speak up. "And what do you think about him?" She referred to the man who would've became her fiancé.
Kaeya also turned his attention ahead of him. "...Normally, I'd think running away from an engagement means running away from an imprudent man," His eyes softened. "But he's the opposite, isn't he? I mean, you wouldn't write someone an entire journey if they weren't worth the hassle."
A few small lightning bugs emerged from behind, hovering into the empty space between them. (Y/n) tapped her fingertips against the bottle she held, all with the same hand. "I begged him to wait until the both of us could do it together," She said. "But it was all in vain. He wanted me to leave without him. And even till now I still don't know why."
Kaeya glanced ahead. He thought about what she had said for a moment before speaking up. "Well, its quite simple," He said. "Staying means nothing unless you're free to leave. I'm certain this man wanted you to figure it out for yourself someday as well."
(Y/n) raised a brow. "...I don't think I follow," She admitted.
He chuckled richly, resting an arm over the knee he pulled close to his chest. "You said so yourself. And by that I mean in your journal," He explained. "You've lived a sheltered life without choice. Your dear friend here merely opened the door wide open for you to leave. In fact, he encouraged you. I do not know him, but I get the feeling he just wanted you to experience something outside your comfort zone."
"Perhaps," She answered back. "I believe he has good intentions, but he wanted this badly too. So, I guess that's where I fail to understand."
Kaeya glanced back at her without moving his head. "You can just ask him when you see him again, right?" He asked.
(Y/n) met his gaze. "I'm not even sure if I ever will. Maybe I'll have to live here my entire life and send pigeons with letters tied to their feet to catch him up."
The man let out a breath that sounded like a repressed laugh. "Living here wouldnt be so bad..." He tried to lighten the mood. But he was also curious about her true feelings regarding the matter. And so he asked, "Would it?"
"Well, right now everything feels fine," She was honest. "But I'm not sure how long that'll last. I mean, do I really want to work at an old archive my entire life? Not really. My options are limited, but I won't act with haste either."
And when Kaeya said nothing in response, she then asked. "What? Something caught your tongue?"
With a slight tug to his lips and the curve of his eyes, he spoke up. "Is there something after there is nothing to say?" He said. "It sounds like you have it all figured out. Besides, I wouldn't give you an opinion unless you asked."
(Y/n) raised a brow. "You're usually more reserved with your words," She said. And then, she teased him. "What's with the straightforwardness?"
He averted his gaze. "...Well, who's to say I merely like being honest with you?"
At this, her eyes shied away. "Wouldn't that be something?" She smiled uknowingly.
Kaeya noticed when her lips curved upward, and he couldn't help but do the same.
He had passed by a mirror the other day. And as his gaze met his own, he realized it was true. The man hadn't spoken a word about how he felt verbally, but it was there visible in his face. It could not be concealed how the thought of her made his eyes soften or curve in a joyous manner. Nor could the star in his eye fade away when graced by her presence,
Unfortunately for him, he'd already obliged his unspoken oath to be nothing more than a silent whisper. Neglected and unheard.
If only he had the courage to look her in the eye and tell her how he truly felt.
FORTY SIX