Jay's POV
"I can't sleep"
I sigh once again as I fumbled in my bed, trying to find a comfy position, but to no avail, I couldn't.
It's probably because of the endless thoughts running through my head.
It's been weeks since my argument with Avery and her words are still so vivid to me.
"It is what I want. I'm sure of it"
I stood up from my bed and decided to go to a store nearby. If I can't sleep tonight might as well watch some movies and munch on some chips.
-
I was looking around the store for some snacks. I grabbed a bag of Lays and was now looking for a drink.
As I was walking around I saw her. Her presence made me halt.
She looked like she was contemplating on what chips to buy
My eyes landed on her hair.
She cut it short.
This is my first time seeing her with this hair, yet it wasn't any different. She still looked so beautiful.
I smiled lightly at that.
I guess she doesn't need her long hair to feel like a princess anymore.
She started to look around as she probably felt my gaze. This made me panic so I hid. I didn't want to be seen by her. It's too soon.
But that thought changed when I noticed a creep laying a hand on her.
I felt my eye twitch at the scene. My jaw clenched as I made the man face me, throwing a fist at his face.
My heart aches for people who had to go through this. It's disgusting and cruel. If only I could take away that feeling of trauma they'd feel, but it's not that easy.
I was so angry at the thought that something worse would have happened to Avery.
I never would've forgiveness myself if something did happen so I decided to walk her home that day because on good terms or not, I do still care about her.
-
"Shh! She's coming" Charlotte whispered once she saw Avery's presence enter the bus.
she quickly laid her head on my shoulder and pretended to sleep.
I shake my head. She's trying to prove how much of a wing woman she is.
"She saw us" she whispered once she saw Avery take a seat.
"I don't think so"
"Stop being so negative!" she slapped my arm
"She doesn't care, charlotte. give it up" and I meant what I said.
I mean she said it herself. She doesn't want to be with me.
Even though I thought that way I kept stealing glances at her and when I saw her sharing an earphone with Sunoo as she laid her head on his shoulder, I felt my heart throb.
-
"I didn't help you because it was you that was in trouble. Don't think you're special"
I was partially lying.
Avery is special to me and yes, I would have saved anyone who was in the same situation as her.
The only reason why I said that was because I wanted to see her reaction. If she reacted sadly then it means she feels something for me. even a bit.
And I was right because I saw how her eyes saddened at my words.
I didn't know exactly what to feel but that gave me hope.
That hope faded when I saw her in the fireplace with Sunoo that night.
She seemed so comfortable around him, I felt a bit envious.
Looking at them made me realize something. I don't deserve her. She deserves someone honest and someone who can be there for her.
Sunoo is the right man for that. While me, I'm a mess. I've been traveling back and forth to Seattle; I'm never there for her, I've been lying to her for years. Heck, I wasn't even there for her birthday.
Whatever made me think I could be good enough for her?
I looked at them one last time from behind and thought to myself at how perfect they are for each other.
Man, this hurts. It hurts so bad, yet I can only watch in silence from afar.
-
I knew of Charlotte's whole "wingwoman" act and I was okay with it, not until she drowned Avery.
I was in shock when it happened and acted on impulse. I took her out from the water and started to perform CPR.
Once she awoke, I felt a sense of relief.
I almost lost her.
"I'll take it from here. You have other things to deal with" was what Sunoo said before he took Avery from my grasp.
I looked back at Charlotte and was about to talk to her when Mia pulled her hair.
"Who the heck do you think you are?! You think you can come to this school and hurt my best friend!"
My eyes widened at that as I made my way to her, stopping her from hurting charlotte any longer
"I'm gonna make you feel how much hurt you've caused her! You witch!"
"Mia clam down, I'll talk to her" I spoke
She turned around and pushed me. I stepped a few steps back from the force.
She glared at me and I could see the fury in her eyes.
"Oh, you better. Or I'll be taking matters on my own hand" she glared at me once more before she left.
The moment she was out of sight I laid eyes on a now crying Charlotte.
"What were you thinking"
"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to go that far"
"You almost killed her," I said in annoyance trying to call myself.
I didn't want to shout at her. Or to any girl in general.
"I know, I'm sorry. Please don't be mad at me" she said as she tried to hold my forearm
I pushed her wrist away before she could do so.
"If having her life in danger is what it takes for your wingwoman act to be a success, then I don't want any of it"
"Stop whatever it is your doing. You're just hurting her and making me hate you"
She looked away, wiping her tears.
Before she said anything else, I left the poolside and went looking for Avery.
-
I waited outside the infirmary room. Taking glances at the door from time to time, waiting for her to come out.
I just wanna see how she's doing and make sure she's okay.
After waiting for a while, the door to the infirmary opened and I saw Avery walk out the room, looking conflicted.
I was about to go after her before a voice was heard.
"I won't go after her if I were you"
Sunoo spoke as he rested his back against the wall.
"How is she feeling?"
"She was feeling okay until" he paused and decided not to finish his sentence. Instead, a sigh escaped his lips.
"I know how you feel about her" I spoke
he looked at me
"I know because I look at her the same way you do"
I thought back to the camping trip. How at peace she looked at that moment, seated beside him in the fireplace.
I feel my heart hurt once again
"Even with me knowing how you feel, I want to say that I'm never giving up on her. No matter what"
"You can keep trying but I'll never let her go, even if I might not be the man who owns her heart," I said with seriousness and a hint of sadness.
I heard Sunoo chuckle at my words.
"You're so dense. You both are"
I simply looked at him
"No matter how much I try Jay, you'll always be the one for her. Not me, you" he started.
"I'm wasting my time trying to make her fall for me but I do it anyway because I like her. But you, you already have her heart"
he looked at me
"You're just too clouded to notice," he says looking away
"You think so?"
"I know so. Everyone knows except you"
he smiled at me but it didn't reach his eye.
"How are you okay with this? Don't you like her?"
"I do, but liking her also means prioritizing her happiness and right now that's you"
he stared at me for a moment.
"No more games Jay. Go get her" he smiled
I smiled back at him.
"Thanks"
I turned my back and went to follow her until he spoke once again
"One last thing"
I looked at him
"Once she gives you that sweet yes, please take good care of her. You're holding my biggest dream"
I smiled back in response and left
-
Being on good terms with Avery was such a relief. I know she isn't mine yet but this is better than being strangers.
A day after that night, I was informed of my father's condition.
He is currently confined in the hospital, completely paralyzed, and was getting weaker as days passed by.
I wanted to go back to Seattle but my mom told me it wouldn't be good since it was almost the end of our school year. Exams are coming soon and requirements are to be passed.
She was right, so what I did instead was I stayed awake all night as I was on a call with my parents. Wanting to make the most of it.
It was a video call so I was able to see my dad resting on his bed, my mom by his side.
This went on day after day.
I do get some sleep of course, but they were always just short naps and never really was an actual sleep.
I wasn't complaining about my sleeping schedule, I was just happy I could see my dad and be with him in his last hours.
He was getting really weak and the painful scenario was to be expected.
I just stared at the screen of my phone as I hear my mom's sniffles.
"Jay, honey. Say something to your dad"
She spoke after she realized I spaced out.
I spaced out of disbelief. I never wanted this day to come. I feel my tears welling up.
"Hey dad" I spoke softly.
"There's honestly so much I want to say to you but now that it's happening I'm at a loss of words"
I looked at my dad who stared blankly into nothingness. Not being able to move his lips and let out a single word.
Though he did not react, I knew he could hear me so I spoke and spoke and he listened.
"I just want you to know how lucky I am to have a father like you."
"You've made me the happiest and I will forever be thankful for that. I truly am"
I started crying as I felt tears rolling down my cheek.
"I love you, Dad, I can't stress that enough"
I wipe my tears away and suddenly heard the cardiac monitor's beep
I paused and stopped breathing for a moment.
I waited and waited for my mother to say something. To say anything. To tell me that what I heard was wrong. It can't be.
"Honey, he's resting now" I hear my mother say before she started sobbing.
I looked at my phone for a moment before I rested my head on my table and allowed my tears to flow.
I cried and cried.
He's gone. I lost my father, my best friend.
At that moment, I felt so alone. So alone in this huge house. Alone in this existence.
It was nothing compared to the pain I've felt my whole life. This was a hundred times worse.
I gasped for air in between my cries. I placed a hand on my chest. Trying to ease my heart as if it were to ease the pain I was feeling.
I need to get out of here. I need someone. I thought to myself as I left the house in a hurry, unknowingly ended up on her doorstep.
The moment she opened the door I went for a hug.
I hugged her tight and bawled my eyes out.
"I'm here. I'm right here, just let it out"
She spoke and even for a little while, I didn't feel so alone anymore.
•
Lots of love :)
- ims
sorry for not updating for so long :( I hope u enjoyed this chapter!