Gone

Chapter 31- Fine

TW: Injuries, Crying, Fear of Death, Talking of Death, Kind of drowning, Mentions of Blood, PTSD induced flashback/vision.

"It hurts Jan," Remus said quietly into Janus's shoulder as tears poured from his eyes, "It hurts so much. Please Jannie, please, please, please, make it stop."

Remus and Janus were sharing the cot again, Remus's body curled tightly around Janus and his fingers gripping his boyfriend's shirt, so tightly that Janus was sure he was going to rip another hole into it. Janus's arms were wrapped around Remus, one around his waist and the other on his back, trying to do his best to comfort him. "I know. I know. I'm so so sorry. It's gonna be okay."

Remus shook his head,  "Make it stop, please. It hurts too much."

There was a heavy feeling of guilt in Janus's chest. He yearned to help Remus, to take away the pain, and heal him until he was better. He felt awful knowing that he had the knowledge and the ability to perform a healing spell, the only things stopping him were the injuries on his own hands that had only been worsened these past few days. He felt his heartache with sympathy and guilt and protectiveness. He wanted so bad to make Remus feel better but he couldn't. 

Even if his hands weren't injured the man keeping them here would become angry if he discovered Janus had used his magic to heal Remus. They would separate them, or worse they'd hurt Remus again except graver. Janus couldn't let that happen. He couldn't let them take Remus away or hurt him again. They might kill him if he did. The man doing this was getting angry. Virgil still hadn't been captured and as relieved as Janus was to hear that he knew it was only a matter of time before his brother met their captor. And until that time came the man was only becoming more and more angry, taking it out on them and other prisoners. He'd already tried to convince Janus what he was doing was right, and when that hadn't worked he had threatened Janus to try and force him to do whatever he wanted. 

Janus would die before he let them touch Remus again. The man might kill Remus the next time he was taken from Janus. The crown prince knew this, he knew this and has sworn his life to protecting Remus from that possibility.

"Jannie," Remus whispered as he buried his face in Janus's neck and whimpered in pain, "I want it to stop. Please make it stop."

"It's gonna be okay Remus. I swear to you, Love, it's gonna be-."

"Stop lying!" Remus shouted before pulling himself even closer to Janus, "Please Dee. Stop lying... You don't know what's gonna happen. Neither of us knows what's gonna happen."

"Remus," Janus whispered.

But Remus only shook his head, "They're gonna win. They're- they're gonna find Virgil and then they're gonna attack home and they're gonna kill Roman. They're gonna kill Roman and I won't be able to do anything" Remus gripped Janus's shirt tighter, "My parents too... they won't spare Ro. They'll kill him. And when they're done they'll kill me.-"

"Don't say that," Janus told him sternly

"It's true and you know that,"

"No, it's not" 

"Yes it-"

Janus pulled his hand away from Remus's waist and used it to force his boyfriend to look at him. Remus squeaked in pain and another pang of guilt shot through Janus knowing that that had been his fault. "Listen to me," Janus said in a hushed but firm voice as he looked Remus in the eyes, "You're not going to die. I'm not gonna let them."

"You can't stop them."

"He needs me. He needs Virgil. If he kills you he won't have either of us. We won't let them hurt you. And it's going to be okay. We're going to get out of here. And we'll go home, and we can tell you're family about what they tried to do to you. We'll explain to them how we found you, and how close we are. And if they don't like that we're dating then screw them. It's gonna be fine. We'll beat him. He's not gonna win. He's not going to hurt Roman. He's not going to do anything. Everything is going to be okay, everything."