It's been a year since Clay, otherwise known as Porkchop, planned the graduation event in Newport Beach. The event where a handsome Tyler Hamilton caught Clay off guard by kissing him. Clay, up until that day, had never kissed a boy before.
At 24 ye...
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I was really nervous driving to my lookout spot with Tyler beside me. Tonight, already, had not gone the way that I'd expected.
First, I thought it would be fun, and concerts were a super big romantic cliché, so obviously, I loved that.
But then the Alexander thing happened, and I found out that Tyler had dated him years ago. And that Tyler was still texting him, but I guess in a friendly way. And that Cayden had known. And that Cayden and Tyler had gotten into a fight yesterday. And that Cayden had apparently set me up with the concert tickets just so I would take Tyler and then he would see his ex-boyfriend on stage, freak out, and then the truth would come out. Even though Tyler told me he'd already planned on telling me the truth after the concert and–
It was a lot of information. An information-dump. It was a lot. I didn't even know how to feel, or what to say, which was why we basically sat in silence for the entire drive. It was okay, though. Or, I really thought that it would be okay once I could understand everything better.
I parked in the dirt lot and Tyler and I got out. We walked to the same spot I'd shown him, my spot on top of the little bridge, and we sat down, legs dangling off the side. Our legs and arms were pressed together from how close we sat, and things were quiet for a few minutes. We were both just kind of looking down at the little waterfall below us.
"So ... Alexander," Tyler said, breaking the silence. It sounded like he didn't really know where to start, and his voice was surprisingly shaky. He was nervous, and I'd never seen him like this.
"He was my first and only boyfriend. He dated my sister first because he wasn't out, but then he came out, and I guess I somehow ended up with him. It was all kind of random because, well, I wasn't out either. I was still in this place where even thinking of my sexuality was weird. Alexander helped me pull myself out of that," Tyler said. "I was an asshole to my entire family at that point, but Alexander was there for me. He helped me realize that I didn't have to be afraid of coming out to my family, that they would accept me and love me all the same. He basically, like, changed my life. And that's the simplest way I can put it.
"We broke up because we were both just in two completely different places. You know? He was going around the country playing shows, recording albums, doing interviews. And I was finishing high school and moving onto college, which I didn't realize I'd hate so much. And then once we broke up, we lapsed into this complete silence. Didn't talk."
Tyler took a deep breath.
"I was scared to talk to him again, but I knew I wanted to. This was happening right around the time I moved here and found out that you were here, too. So yeah. I just ... I missed him, you know? We were friends before we dated, and then what he did was just so meaningful to me because he literally changed my life. He gave me courage I didn't have before meeting him," Tyler said, then groaned. "Fuck, you're probably hearing me say all of this and thinking that I'm full of shit, and that I'm still in love with him. Because I sound like I'm the number-one fan in the Alexander Taylor fan base or whatever. I don't want you to think that, and I don't know how to show you that I don't ... I don't want to be with him. I ... I just really like you. That's it."
