Hopeless Romantic | ✔️

28| A Free-Trial for Love

I mean, okay, there were a lot of things I wasn't hiding from Clay, but that I just hadn't told him. That was besides the point.

"Yes, I'm texting Alexander. He's just telling me about his tour schedule," I said, then set my phone face-down on the counter, folding my arms on top of each other. "Shoot. With the questions. You get 3."

"Unlimited, you mean."

I shook my head. "3. Or we'll be here for like 18 hours and I won't get my English paper done."

Cayden sighed. "Fine. Question 1. Has there been flirting?"

I scoffed. "No. Not even." The way Alexander and I used to text had been filled with flirtatious comments. Sexual innuendos, winky faces and cute emojis (eggplants and peaches included), and obvious teasing. There was still teasing, but that was how I talked and texted to everybody in my life.

"Question 2, then. Are there still feelings that you feel for him? You know, like, unfriendly feelings?"

"If you're asking if I still love and want to bone him, no," I said. Though, I knew I'd always care about Alexander, always have some kind of love for him. Which was a normal response, I thought, for a person who had saved me from myself.

"Great, that's good," Cayden said. "Final question. Does Clay know about Alexander?"

"You mean, in general?"

"Well, yes, but I'm mostly asking if he knows that you're currently still texting him," he said.

"No," I admitted, "because I don't think it's necessary to give him the run-down on every person I message."

"Well, if he were still texting his ex, wouldn't you want to know?" Cayden asked.

"No, because first off, I trust him, and also we're not in a real relationship," I said, suddenly defensive. "Why are you trying to back me up into a corner about this? Do you want me to own up to some momentous mistake I didn't even make? Do you want me to admit I'm doing something wrong when I'm literally not?"

"I'm not trying to back you into a corner. I'm trying to understand things," Cayden said. "I know you and Clay aren't technically together, but don't you think you're basically there?"

"Well, yeah. Duh. He's my almost-boyfriend. We kiss and go on dates and hold hands and stuff, but that doesn't make us in a relationship. It makes us ... on a free trial," I said. "You know, you get those stupid 7-day trials for HBO just so you can binge Euphoria. Or those longer 3-month free trials for Apple Music just cause you wanna know if it looks as cool as Spotify, only to discover that no, it doesn't. We're on a free-trial here. A free-trial for love, or whatever."

"Okay, so let me ask you this. Would you renew your subscription?"

"Huh?"

Cayden leaned forward a bit more. "The free-trials. You usually still have to put in all your credit card information and sign up with your personal info. Then, you can binge Euphoria. But once HBO's 7-day trial is up, you either have to cancel, so they don't charge your credit card like, I don't know, 12 bucks a month, or you decide, 'you know what? This HBO thing is kinda great', and then you decide to pay the 12 bucks a month and keep your subscription. So in terms of your free-trial for love with Clay, what would you do?"

"Renew it," I said. I didn't have to contemplate it. I didn't know why Cayden was asking me these questions. "Do you not think I like Clay or something?"

"No, I do," Cayden said. "I just don't know if you're in it as much as he is."

I scoffed and stood up. Yeah, I was feeling real defensive now. Because he was calling into question my entire character, and I didn't ask for this today. "Because why? I'm texting my ex-boyfriend who happened to be my friend first? The guy who really heavily impacted my life and I just want to talk to? As friends?"