Everything I Didn't Say

"Mrs All American"

-12th July-
*Norah POV*

I had such an amazing time visiting Matty's parents, and they were such lovely people. And to know that my parents liked him as well, made me feel so much better about the whole thing.
It seemed like me and Matty were being too fast, but we had known eachother for months before, and we're practically going out for a good month or two before he called me in America.
But it was time to visit the lads again in London.
Me and Matty met Charlotte in Cheshire and we took the train to London together.
"Matty it's so good to see you!", Charlotte smiled and hugged him.
"Aw it's been such a long time hasn't it Charlotte?", he said.
"Come on, tell me everything about Scotland", she began.

.........
We stepped off the train to our usual platform, and took a taxi to the boy's house.
All the sights from this journey, I knew like the back of my hand. Considering I lived hundreds of miles away, it was weird for me. I felt the same excitement to see them as I did on the way to LA...I needed to see how Michael was.
I had been worrying about him for ages. I knew he didn't deal with personal conflict very well. He was fine with dealing with hate, he didn't really give a shit, but when it came to arguments between friends and relationships- he turned weird.
"Hiya!", Ashton greeted us all and hugged us, "welcome to London, Matty"
"Thank you Ashton, good to see you again", he smiled and carried our bag into the house, "this suitcase is so full, we've been non-stop travelling for ages...wait a second, look who I'm talking to", he laughed in embarrassment. Ashton laughed and reassuringly patted his back.
"Nor!", Luke grinned at me and hugged me, "it's so good to see you"
"You too Luke", I stroked his back as he embraced me. I was so excited to see Luke especially since how close we got in LA- we were always close but we got so much closer. I couldn't stop smiling, just thinking about how I was hugging him. I realised what I was doing infront of Matty, and quickly pulled away to greet Calum.
"Good to see you lad", I hugged him.
"You too Norah, I'm happy you've brought Matty", he smiled and shook his hand. I looked around and Michael wasn't in the hallway with everyone else.
My heart sank, wondering where he was.
"...where's Michael?", I asked quietly.
"Oh....", Ashton cringed slightly.
"What? Ashton, what?! What's up with him?", I panicked
"He's on the phone to Naomi", he rolled his eyes.
"...really?!", I whispered, "are they actually speaking?"
"This is why this phone call is important to him. This is the first time they've spoken since the 'blowout' and there was absolutely no time left in the last weeks in LA because we were recording everything we've written, and she's in New York for her work", he explained.
"Aw, I'll speak to him later", I smiled and put my stuff in Michael's room. I smiled because I didn't want everyone to know I was worried about Michael, simply because he was on the phone.
Matty followed me upstairs and smiled at me as he was unpacking.
Finally I had someone to share a bed with at the house.

.........
"He's been up there a long time", I observed.
We were sat in the living room drinking beer and eating pizza, which seemed weird without Michael.
"If I were you Norah, I'd go speak to him", Calum said.
"....okay I'll go now", I said and took my beer with me.
"Is it such a good idea to speak to the guy so soon?", Matty asked.
"Yeah, but it's me and Michael. We know eachother too well. Even the guys know I am the best to handle this situation with him", I said and walked upstairs.
"She really is!", I heard Calum say from the living room.
I realised this might have been a weird thing to say to Matty, considering he knew how much I liked him when we first met and when they visited me in Birmingham...but he obviously didn't know about LA and that I had moments of considering it again.
"Michael?", I knocked on his bedroom door.
"Norah...", he answered quietly, and embraced me as soon as I walked in, "are you okay?"
"Yes I'm fine...how are you?", I asked hesitantly, knowing that he's upset.
"...Norah I'm single now", he sighed
"...really?!", I asked
"Yep, I've officially ended it. I can't do it anymore", he said
"Well I'm glad Michael. You will be happier", I said, "but if you ever have doubts, speak to me and I'll remind you why that was the best decision for you"
"Thanks...you are always there aren't you Norah?", he smiled
"I am for you Mikey", I smiled back, "are you ready to go back downstairs?"
"...you know what? Yes I am! I'm actually over it. I know people say that all the time after a break up, but I feel relieved", he put his arm around me and walked downstairs with me, "she's so pathetic, and I don't have to hold in how I'm feeling anymore"
I smiled thinking about how much easier it will be without her causing shit like she did in LA. But it made me feel suspicious, because no one who was in love with her as much as he was can get over her that quickly.
"Oh wait Norah", he stopped me before we were about to walk into the living room, "I want to apologise again about how I acted the day you left in America, you know when I came in your room. I should have never spoke to you like that...especially about Matty whose in there now"
"Michael, it's alright. You were feeling weird about Naomi and you took it out on me...I'm not going to lie, I was super annoyed with you", I laughed nervously, "but some time back in Australia for you will be amazing"
"I would have been angry with myself too", he said, "I'm so excited for you to come to Australia. You're right, it's what I need right now...I missed you and your reassuring words"
"I missed you too!", I smiled and grabbed the handle of the door, and Michael suddenly embraced me. I laughed and hugged him back.
"I love you Norah", he kissed me on the cheek and giggled.
"I love you too", I said in shock, "now come on, we have to have a good night", I pulled away and walked into the living room, where Luke was stood up waiting, with two beers in his hands to give to us.

It's weird how dramatically things changed within about a month. I got out of the friends with benefits zone. I started to like Michael again, then that changed again. And the seemingly happy and in love Michael Clifford was now single.

...................

"Tonight was nice wasn't it?", Matty sighed as he got into bed, "I felt like I already knew them properly, because of how you would talk about them to me"

"What, when I liked Michael?", I laughed slightly

"You were smitten...", he said

"With Michael?....yeah a little bit", I laughed again

"...I hate to sound like a prick but do you still think of him like that?", he nervously asked

"....Its understandable Matty, its just hard to answer", I shrugged, "he was the first guy I really liked- who was an actual person I could have conversations with rather than a celebrity in a film I thought was hot, or something like that. Yeah he's famous and I had a huge crush on him for years, but I had never actually spoke to him- I didn't know what he was actually like. There always will be a little glimmer of something, but nothing either of us could or would act on"

"Okay...I just wonder that's all", he shrugged as well. So I smiled at him and got into bed.

I understood why Matt was asking that question, I had history with Michael. He still made me smile just by looking at him. I talk about how much I miss him when he's away...but, my god, he could aggravate me. I adored him, and he made me laugh, but he's made me annoyed like no one else has...I don't like feeling annoyed with someone. Luke was always the lad I turned to when I was annoyed. He knows me inside and out and I know him as well.
I sometimes considered what me and Luke would be like if we ever got together. I reckoned that it would be awkward at first, because of our personalities, but once that stage had gone, it would be so special because we already had a strong friendship.
Slowly I drifted to sleep next to Matty.