Everything I Didn't Say

Still The One

*Norah POV*

Ashton dropped me and Matty off at Luke's which was across the road from the restaurant we were going to eat.
Luke's flat was at the top floor, with bare brick walls overlooking Sydney. Scarily, it looked similar to when I dreamt about Luke's flat. There was cool American band posters scattered across the walls. But we were already late so I didn't have chance to snoop around, so we quickly ran to the restaurant.
It was a fancy place, with high ceilings, chandeliers. It was also quiet, so it gave me and Matty a chance to speak.
Luke had given us the keys to his flat, so we were going to spend the night at his place, to save people coming to pick us up.
The waiter brought over a bottle of champagne, that I'm assuming Ashton organised when he book the restaurant for us.
"I can't believe we are in Australia together...", Matty said in shock.
"I know, it's weird to think how far we've come...", I smiled and looked at his suit, "you look lovely by the way Matty"
"I can't get over how good you look. You look amazing!", his eyes widened.
I laughed and thanked him.
We had such a nice evening, talking about university, reminiscing about nights out together and memories from halls. The way we looked back on these memories made me think twice about the way I had been dismissing him recently. He did care for me, and that's why he was so defensive about the boys. But then Luke would come into my head...I cared for him as well, longer than I have for Matty, even before it clicked with me that I had feelings for him.
It was strange how little I think about Michael. Considering how strong I thought my feelings were about him, they went fairly quickly. Obviously they hadn't suddenly disappeared all together, but I didn't want the relationship I thought I wanted with him.
Listening to Matty tonight has made me realise how happy he makes me, but being in a relationship has ruined our friendship. Recently, the romance has gone, and we have built a friendship.
"Fancy a bottle of wine on me?", he caught my attention and went to approach the bar.
"Yes, but here's $10", I insisted and passed him the note and smiled.
He smiled back and approached the bar. But then I had a slight lightbulb moment. Matty ordered the bottle, but I quickly ran up and said that we should get the bottle 'to go'. Matty turned and smirked at me as he took the bottle and walked out of the restaurant.
We walked into Luke's flat and he grabbed my hand and led me to the sofa. He ran to grab glasses from the kitchen.
While he was gone I wandered around Luke's living room, and saw photos of him and brothers when he was a baby, and they were both holding him. There was another where his parents took him to the park, and they were both pushing him on a swing. His smile had not changed a bit. Luke is such a happy person, and I needed that in my life.
I needed to be honest about how I felt to Matty, it wasn't fair.
"...Matty?", I asked in confusion.
"What?", he was smiling.
"What do you think is going to happen tonight?", I asked, realising that he thought he was getting laid.
"I assumed we were going to sit down and talk things through", he said excitedly, "I've been waiting for you to be honest with me for ages"
I cooed at his cuteness and sighed.
"Okay Matty, here we go"
And I told him everything. When Michael kissed me in LA, my feelings towards Luke growing, making a move on Luke on multiple occasions and he always said no because of Matty. I even told him about my first ever breakdown in London when Luke comforted me and that's why I was so annoyed that he was being chewy with me, and why I went out to get drunk with Ash and Michael after. I told him about my dream and how it made me reconsider everything.
Matty simply nodded and took in every word I said and every emotion I felt.
The guilt hit me hard as soon as I stopped talking.
"...I wish we would have been honest with eachother, no matter how much it would hurt", he said, "but thank you for being so honest", he bit his tongue and looked away.
"Matty I'm so sorry", I began to cry more than I already was, "I wish I could change my mind but it's not fair to you"
"I love you, and I know you love me. I'll be fine, I just want you to be happy. Whether it's with me or Hemmings", he said, with a single tear streaming down his face. I could tell there was something he wanted to tell me.
I grabbed his face and wiped it with my thumb. I looked at him, and kissed him on the cheek.
"I do love you, but I'm too much a nobhead to realise how good we could have been", I sighed, "I have to do this"
"I know...I still want to be in your life. I feel like recently we have become friends more than anything", he said
"Of course! Please still be my friend, I would love that Matty", I interrupted him and hugged him, "I feel bad this has happened in such a beautiful place"
"It's fine, we will all make some good memories in the next few days", he smiled, "to be honest I have a confession for you as well"
"...what?", I asked in confusion.
"While we were kind of drifting apart, I realised I really like Becky...and I didn't realise until you started to have feelings for Luke. She was there for me, and she had the time for me that you didn't", he said slowly, "You like Becky don't you?"
"Love her! You have my approval...it's weird how things work out isn't it?", I smiled.
"Yeah...", he smiled, "so I guess this is it?"
"No this isn't 'it', we are still going to see eachother all the time, and we are going to be happy when we do", I said
"...I'm going to facetime Becky. I'm so happy I could be honest with you", he kissed me on the cheek, "good night Norah"
"Good night Matty", I smiled at him.
I walked into Luke's room, and saw family photos by his bedside, then a picture of him and the boys at a party.
I think I've found the one...