Everything I Didn't Say

If You Were There, Beware

*Norah POV*
-July 29th-

I had been distancing myself from everyone for a while...I missed them but it had to be done.
I had to face them at some point and tonight was the night for Lower Than Atlantis- my birthday present.
I was still thinking about Luke, and I was still shocked that I was thinking about Luke. Michael was just a niggling voice in the back of my mind while his best friend was at the forefront of it.
I felt guilty for Matty, it wasn't fair- but because I was still so unsure, I stayed with him.
While it was just me and him together for a while, it was good. He was a good lad, and made me happy. My family liked him, my friends liked him. I liked him...but I wasn't sure it was enough.
He dropped me off at the train station to go to London. Matty couldn't go himself because of work and uni commitments, and the boys didn't even get him a ticket, because we were just friends when they bought them.
"Have fun", he grinned and pecked me on the lips, "Lower Than Atlantis will be good live"
"I'm excited", I squealed, "I'll see you in a few days, cheers for the lift darling", I waved as I walked towards my platform.

..........

*5:41pm*

I took my usual taxi route from the station to the house, that I have taken many times before. I couldn't decide if I was excited or nervous to see them again, I hadn't been in touch with them as much as I normally am- even with Luke or Ashton.
I anxiously knocked on the door and bit my lip in anticipation.
"Nor!", Luke's eyes lit up and embraced me quickly, "I haven't spoke to you in ages, are you okay?"
He brightened my day, and he always has for me.
"Yeah I am, thank you, are you okay Luke?", I giggled at his cuteness. He simply grinned and nodded, and lead me into the room where everyone was sat.
We all greeted and hugged. Calum had his arm around Charlotte.
"So this is your birthday present?", Michael widened his eyes.
"Yes, so it better be good. Are we actually going for a pint with them afterwards?", I asked confused.
"I'm afraid I got in touch with them, and they already have plans after the show, sorry Nor, but we will obviously go in backstage then go out front to watch them", Ashton explained.
"Oh thank you so much, again!", I smiled.
We sat and chatted shit- as normal- and I felt fine. I was so happy to be back, and it felt normal. Ashton was giggling with me, Calum was being a twat, Michael was making innuendos, and Luke was just laughing. He was sat next to me, and kept glancing in my direction and slowly placed my feet into his hands, as we normally do. I smirked, realising what he was doing.
"Norah!", Charlotte shouted.
I snapped back into reality, "yes?"
"Should we do our regular getting ready routine?", she beamed and dragged me upstairs, "in a bit, lads!"

.........

I threw on my black and white print shorts and tights, and a baggy white top. My hair was normal and curly, and down just past my shoulders. Charlotte wore blue skinny jeans and a loose fitting Ramones vest.
I missed the lads dressing up to go out. We walked down the stairs and could smell Hugo Boss and Diesel, Fuel for Life- my favourite aftershaves. Michael wore black jeans and a blue flannel, Ashton wore black jeans and a maroon t shirt. Calum wore a black T-shirt and jeans, and Luke wore a black t shirt with white sleeves and jeans.
Me and Charlotte beamed when we saw them, we loved their outfits, whatever they wore.
Luke smiled at me as we walked in and looked to the floor. My eyes met with Michaels and he looked sad.

......

"This way, Nor!", Luke dragged my arm through security, and backstage of the London Roundhouse. I had never been to a gig in London before, except 5 Seconds of Summer themselves, but I have memories of watching them perform at this very venue for the iTunes Festival, through my phone. I had discovered Lower Than Atlantis, when I was about 13, when they opened for YouMeAtSix, I was proud of them for coming so far.
I had never experienced anything like this. Backstage was so much hustle and bustle from all the crew and technical engineers. Whereas the band were just chilling in their dressing room. The narrow corridors all lead to the headline bands room, which was tempting for me. But they weren't even there- they were running insanely late and had not even arrived at the venue.
So many people greeted the boys and chatted, I can't even remember any of their names.
"I can't believe we are backstage before a gig", Charlotte nudged me and grinned.
"I know! I want to get out there before we are stood too far back", I added.
Charlotte gave me a blank look, then quickly dragged all of the boys from their conversations, to the stage.
"They are good songwriters", Michael shouted in my ear, as Jay Z blasted through the venue.
"I love them, I bet they are really nice lads", I shouted back. Michael simply nodded and continued to talk to Calum. Things were different now, and I had only just began to notice it. I missed our giggling, inside jokes and late night conversations. I had never experienced that with a boy before Michael. I would always feel something for him, but it wasn't love, like I thought it was.