Sanders Sides One Shots(HIATUS)

Crumpled-up Paper(Moxiety)

Requested by @/loveliness_2 on Twitter

TW: swearing, kissing, crying

Virgil rolled over in bed, trying his best not to think about Patton.

Not to think about that one strand of hair that never stayed brushed downwards. Not to think about the way his cardigan always fell out of place. Not to think about the way his blue eyes lit up when he laughed or how he never missed the chance to make a pun or the way that beautiful shining bubbly grin seemed to pierce Virgil's very soul and make him flush red and grin right back and want to grab his arm right then and there and kiss him until the sun went away.

He groaned in frustration and turned over, burying his head into his pillow. Why did he have to fall in love with Patton? His best friend. His pop star. His favorite person in the world.

Why was the world so cruel as to make him love someone who would never love him back?

Virgil was gross. Boring. Needy. He had panic attacks all the time and cried even more frequently. He bothered everyone with his unneeded worries and anxiety. And on top of that, he had been diagnosed with Seasonal Affective Disorder and needed prescribed antidepressants during the darker winter months.

He was a train wreck.

Who could love him?

He sighed when he realized that it was 3:30 AM.

A thought struck him.

If these feelings won't go away, wouldn't it be best to at least make sense of them?

He got out of bed and went over to his desk, flipping on the light and grabbing his notebook.

His favorite pen rested comfortably in his hand.

He began to write.

I love Patton because...

His smile. His laugh. The way he takes care of everyone and makes us smile. The way he hugs me and cuddles me and holds me close when no one else will.

And soon he had paragraphs and paragraphs, the entire front and back of a sheet of paper, covered in a messy scrawl of purple pen, detailing why and how he loved Patton, why he needed him, why he wanted to spend the rest of his life with him.

He looked at it, dropping his pen onto his desk.

...this is trash.

He felt tears come to his eyes and wiped them away, crumpling up the sheet of paper in a fit of anger and throwing it at the wall behind him.

I can't do anything right.

He crawled back into his bed and fell asleep, silent tears dripping from his cheeks.

-Timeskip || Patton's POV-

Patton uncrumpled the paper curiously. A small voice nagging at him told him that he shouldn't, but he ignored it.

His eyes widened as he took in the first line.

"I love Patton because..."

It was almost like an essay, going to exquisite detail about the way he smiled and the way he laughed and the way he took care of others and the way he loved without question. He was halfway through reading it when Virgil stirred in the bed next to him.

His eyes flickered open. "...Pat?"

"Virgil." Patton breathed. "I'm sorry... I read this, I shouldn't have-"

Virgil's eyes widened and he flinched, tears pricking the corners of his eyes. "Shit... God, Patton, I'm so sorry, I know you could never feel the same way-"

Patton cupped his cheek, eyes wide, brushing a tear away.

"Virgil?"

"Yes...?"

"Can I kiss you?"

His eyes widened and for a moment Patton was afraid he'd done something wrong, that he took what was left of their fraying bond and shattered it into a million pieces.

"Please." Virgil whispered instead.

Ever so slowly, Patton leaned closer, his eyes slipping shut.

Virgil met him halfway.

It was the greatest thing Patton had ever felt. Unexplainable warmth blossoming at his lips and moving in slow waves to the rest of his body, traveling around him and through him. His lips moved gently against Virgil's, feeling the smoothness of the touch. His hand flitted to Virgil's jacket and pulled him ever so slightly closer, smiling into the kiss when Virgil's hands found his hips. Ever so gently, he nipped at his bottom lip, sort of afraid that he would break him but knowing deep down that he was strong, he was resilient, and that was among the countless reasons why Patton loved him.

Patton was at least 90% sure(or was it 85%? He wasn't good with numbers.) that he was actually glowing. How else could he explain how his heart felt, as if it was on fire, a warm flame caressing his body, traveling through where his lips touched Virgil's, and that just made him happier.

Achingly, he pulled away. "You have no idea how long I've wanted to do that for."

"Me too." Virgil breathed, cuddling into him. "I know that now is a great time for sentiment and all of that touchy-feely stuff, but if you don't kiss me again right now I'm going to lose my shit."

A musical laugh escaped Patton's lips and he pulled him in again.