Fate I

LV

Lucy sat in the Lotus Hall, her long blonde hair set loose as it piled up in heaps. She wore a simple, white imperial robe as white rolls of silk were hung outside the Palace in mourning of Koutoku. Her eyes were red with tears from crying the past few days, wondering how once again, human life was truly fleeting. Even now, she sobbed in her hall, the only one paying her company being Kuugen.

"If I was a bit faster in noticing it, then perhaps Father Emperor would've been saved," she said, her body trembling at the very idea that she could've saved him.

Right now, like everyone else, he could've been alive, laughing heartily as always, but he wasn't. His body was now but a lifeless corpse just like the day where she saw her father and mother being laid down. Holding the stuffed animal Kaede gave to her close, she cried into it, unable to let go of this guilty feeling weighing down in her heart. Once more, she lost another person and once more, she could only think of it as her fault.

"It's my fault..." she looked down at the mat, her eyes shining a faint golden hue.

"Lucy," Kuugen whimpered, laying its head down at her feet.

She buried her head into the plump body of the bunny-like cat stuffed animal, the rukh fluttering around her in a frenzy due to her unstable emotions. Right now, everyone was in mourning after the funeral and each member of the Imperial family stayed within their halls with only the servants bringing their food every now and then. The Inner Palace was being cleaned out with Koutoku's consorts and concubines being sent to the nunnery while others were beheaded after Kouka revealed their evil doings. She had been lenient enough with them but with Koutoku's passing, she decided to eradicate the roots once and for all. Kouen was soon to ascend the throne and by then, she wished for him to rise to a throne that was rid of all impurities, starting his dynasty anew.

"I hate it," she gritted her teeth, her hands gripping tightly onto the stuffed animal's body. "I hate this powerless feeling that overwhelms me."

Kuugen stared at it with despondent eyes. It couldn't understand why she was so distraught on the death of a person who wasn't even related to her. On top of that, it couldn't understand why she was so hard with herself. In its eyes, she was more powerful than anyone and yet, she claimed herself to be weak.

"Human life is fleeting," Kuugen said. "Death is inevitable."

"But even so, if I had been just a bit faster, I could've prolonged Father Emperor's time by even just a little," she turned to him. "Rather than losing him due to something that could've been prevented, I'd rather see him die naturally of old age."

At that, Kuugen could somewhat understand her feelings for it, too, didn't wish to lose her to something that could've been prevented.

"But even then, humans will naturally die," it said, its eyes laid upon the mat. "It's simply a matter of now or later. Even if the heavens may write out a human's death, the time of death is ultimately up to them," it looked up at her. "The actions they take and the decisions they make influence how their ending will be."

Lucy stared at him.

"So, there's no need to feel guilty about it in the least," Kuugen said, its sapphire eyes reflecting her. "You did what you could and did the man not say it himself? He lived a fulfilling life. There's no greater desire a human has than passing away with no regrets."

"But did he really not have any...?" she could only doubt.

"Did he not wear a smile on his face at the very end?" Kuugen smiled. "To be surrounded and grieved over by the people he loved, it shows just how loved he was. As an Emperor, he could only revel in joy knowing that his people are now saved and as Ren Koutoku, he was happy that the people he loved were safe. That was that man's happiness."