The Cleansing: Part One (Book Two of the Golden Eyes Trilogy)

Chapter 54: It's Not Forever

Finn

I woke up from my sleep feeling a tidal wave of panic and sadness from Nova. I listened throughout the house but I didn't hear her. She didn't come home until almost an hour later. I felt her hurting even more. I was right at the door when she came in and the second she saw me standing there she fell into me and fell apart.

"Killer what's wrong? Are you okay?"

She shook her head, holding me tight and even shed a few tears.

"What happened? Talk to me."

She shook her head, wiping away tears and started for the stairs. "Not here."

I followed her up and once we were in our room with the door shut she really broke down.

"Tell me what's wrong. Please. You're scaring me. What happened?" I asked as I pulled her hands away from her face to look her over.

"Nixon wants me to go back to the states to distribute the cure. And go on an undercover mission to save California."

At first I thought it was a good thing and then I realized why she was upset. She'd have to leave Gryffin behind. Shit.

"Can you tell him no? Do you have to do it?"

She nodded and held onto me like I was a lifeline. "I would have to leave all of you behind. I couldn't put any of you at risk. Not up against an army of that many. I can't protect you in that kind of situation. I don't know what to do Finn. None of the other Resistants could pull it off. I'm the only one who can. I don't want to go but I know I have to. We can't have our forever until the world is in order. So I have to go. And I don't want to leave you. Any of you. He's going to hate me."

I sighed and held her tight against me, my heart breaking for her. I could feel just how upset she was through our bond and it was choking me. I don't like that she feels this way. And I can't make her better. Not when I know how Gryffin is going to react to the situation.

"Well I'm going with you. You're not going without me. Together we could save the world twice as fast and then come back to Gryffin before he misses you too much. It'll be okay. It's not forever. And the faster we get it done the faster we can come home and be one again. It's only temporary Killer. It'll be okay."

My words didn't soothe her at all. I didn't know what more I could say so I just held her as she cried until she finally stopped. And it took a while too.

"I don't want him to hate me." She sniffled as she pulled back and wiped away her tears.

"He might be upset and feel a little lost but he could never hate you. Don't think that I haven't been seeing him call you Mommy. He'll be afraid he's being left again but you'll come back and prove him wrong. I'm going to figure out a way to make sure you can talk to him okay? There has to be something I can do. Just please stop crying. I hate it when you cry."

Nova calmed down and sighed, looking up at me with the saddest expression I've ever seen on her face. And damn did it hurt me. I had to figure something out. Nova won't be able to focus and do what we have to do constantly worrying about him. I had to do something. And I would. I would do whatever it took to help her. If you could feel what she's feeling right now you would too.