The Cleansing: Part One (Book Two of the Golden Eyes Trilogy)

Chapter 12: She Hurts for Him Because She Understands

Finn

I really wasn't looking forward to this. We were just finally settling in and figuring out our place here. Between the cure and making this place a home and trying to find where we belonged we definitely didn't need to be throwing a kid into the mix.

But what I felt through the bond I felt with her broke my heart. So I'm giving it a chance but I just don't think it's the right time. But she was right. She never asks me for anything. So I guess I can give it a shot. I don't think it'll work out but at least I tried. If it would make her happy I would do it. For her.

Nova's excitement was almost choking me as we drove towards the orphanage. She was obviously so excited she didn't feel my hesitation or dislike for the situation. That or she was ignoring it.

Yeah. She's probably ignoring it.

I slowly followed her into the orphanage and looked around. The kids were being told a story as Nova lead us further away and into a room.

When she saw him her smile grew bigger and she rushed to his side. He was coloring in a book and didn't even look at us as we approached. Nova tapped on his shoulder and he slowly turned around, a deep frown on his face. Until he realized who it was and then his smile was just as big as hers.

"I told you I'd come back." She said aloud as she signed to him.

He signed something back before jumping up to hug her. And then I felt the love she had for him. Great. If this doesn't work out she's going to be devastated. I want to make her happy but I also want to be sensible about this. Now is not the time but I said I'd give it a shot so I will. It's the least I could do after everything she's done for me.

"I want you to meet someone." She said and signed as she pointed at me.

I gave him a small smile and a wave but it was all I could muster. I wasn't exactly thrilled about this.

"This is Finn. He's my boyfriend. And he's happy to meet you." Nova said and signed as she led him over to me. He looked up at her again and signed something that had her giggling.

"He asked if you're a superhero too because of your eyes."

"Kind of. Not as awesome as her though."

She signed my reply and he nodded before turning back to Nova and hugging her legs tightly. He led her back to his corner and they both sat down and began coloring together. I just leaned against the door and watched their interaction. I haven't seen Nova smile so much in days. I could feel waves of excitement pouring through our bond as they signed and laughed.

After about an hour of this I told Nova it was time to go. Her sadness washed over me in a heavy wave as she sullenly told him goodbye. Nova said she'd be back to see him again tomorrow and begrudgingly followed me back to the jeep.

She didn't see because her back was to him but he reached out for her and tears fell down his eyes as we left. It made me feel like shit.

Nova frowned the whole drive back to our place. I don't know how she can feel so much loss from leaving him behind when she barely knows him. It made me feel even worse.

I didn't want the kid but Nova clearly did.

More than she lead on.

"What can I make you for lunch?" I asked as we walked inside.

Nova shook her head and went up to our room as I sat down at the island with a sigh.

I'm not ready for another kid. I'm really not. I don't think she is either but I can feel how upset she is and it's upsetting me. I don't like it when she feels this way. I'm not used to her feeling so sad. Normally is annoyance or agitation but not sadness and loss. And she was feeling a lot of it.

"How did it go?" Finch asked as she took the seat next to me.

I shrugged my shoulders, not really knowing how to answer that. I wanted to feel indifference but Nova's emotions were choking me. How can she be this upset when she doesn't even know him?

"Has Nova told you about her little brother Andy?"

"Not much. Just that he lost his hearing when he was five."

"Nova raised Andy pretty much by herself. Her mom helped when she was home but she worked so much to provide for the four of them that Nova had to raise two kids pretty much on her own. She never saw it as an issue either. She loved them so much she didn't mind missing school dances or field trips to care for them. She really didn't like doing those things anyways but Nova took care of them without blinking an eye.

"When Andy was about five years old he got really sick and lost his hearing. He used to be a fun and outgoing kid too but it changed him. He became lost and sad and would hide in his room all day. The only person who could console him was Nova.

"She put herself in a home school program along with him and learned sign and taught it to him so he could communicate again. She did everything for him Finn. Then she taught all of us sign so we could talk to him too. She barely got any sleep for months trying to learn everything so she could help him feel included again.

"My point is Andy had Nova to be there for him during that time. But the little boy has no one Finn. He's alone and sad and we both know Nova hides it well but she has a big heart and she sees so much of Andy in him she can't help but to be attached.

"She experienced first hand how hard it can be without hearing in the world. She knows how lost someone can feel. How excluded you can feel. When she sees that little boy she sees her little brother. And that's why she's that attached already. She hurts for him because she understands what he's going through."

Now I feel even worse. I didn't know that was the extent she went through for her little brother. Nova always puts family first. I guess I can try to put my own feelings aside and try to understand where she's coming from. I still don't want the kid but I gave it a week. Maybe she can change my mind by then.

"She wanted a week Finn. Give her that. Nova doesn't ask for much. The least you could do is try."

Finch was right. She never asks for anything. It's the least I could do after everything she's done and continues to do for me.

"I'll give her this week but I really don't think I'll change my mind. But I'll give her the week she wants. It's a fair request."

Finch smiled and put her hand over mine, giving it a gentle squeeze. "Good. She will appreciate that more than you know."

Nova came down the stairs and filled her water bottle before turning to look at us with narrowed eyes.

"What?"

Finch and I both shrugged as Nova drank some and then started to leave again.

"Wait." Finch called out as Nova hit the stairs. "Can we go to aunt Cindy's soon? It's been killing me being so close and not knowing if everyone is alive or not."

Nova watched Finch for a moment before nodding once. "We'll go tomorrow. Pack an overnight bag just in case."

Nova went back up the stairs, still feeling upset. This was really bothering her. I'll admit it's bothering me a little too.

"Wow. This is really bothering her. Is the kid magical or something?"

He had to be. Nova never gets this attached to anyone. Especially so quickly.

"I have no idea. I can feel how upset she is and it's kind of bumming me out."

Finch gave me a sad smile and nodded as she looked back the stairs. "Just keep an open mind Finn. It's ultimately up to you in the end because we both know where Nova stands. If you decide in the end it's a definite no at least be easy on her."

I didn't know what to do. I really wish my mom was here. She would know what to do.

"I will Finch." I replied as she left too.

I hope she doesn't hate me if this doesn't work out. But I will keep an open mind like Finch said. I'll at least try for her. She deserves it.