The Eye (P)

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Title: The Eye

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Title: The Eye

Author: CursedHobbit

Genre: Paranormal/Fantasy

Chapters Read: 1-3

Title & Cover

It's a simple title, but I don't think that's a bad thing. I always find eyes to be intriguing - they're said to be the window of the soul, so they tend to have a fair bit of meaning behind them. Vague titles like this also add mystery, so that's great!

I'm a fan of your cover, too. The fancy text looks really attractive and blends in with the style of the cover perfectly. We have a witch on there, so an obvious link to what the book is about, and I also love the little gold symbol on the hat, matching the title's shade. It has a very magical feel to it, and I think it fits your book really well, as well as just generally being pretty.

Summary

I like the first part of your summary. That's the part that actually sets up the story. The second part - with the extract - I feel is unnecessary and doesn't really pull me into the story any more than the first bit did. I'm not sure what's going on in the extract you've chosen since it has no context, and it doesn't really seem to link up with the actual summary in any way, nor give any information as to what the book is about. So I'd suggest removing that part and just developing the first part instead.

And it does need a little development. While you introduce our main character, and the basics of the plot, it feels very vague. My main issue is that there is almost no stakes - you mention they'll be faced with 'love, loss and betrayal' but you don't really say why. What's so important about protecting this Eye of Truth? What does that mean? Are there any villains? You need to at least hint at some bad stuff that might happen here. Otherwise there's no tension and it falls a little flat.

Add some danger. Mention some troubles Minnie has (the special bloodline thing perhaps? That seems important). Show the reader that there'll be some excitement going on in this book. Maybe even mention the fact that her two best friends aren't witches, since I assumed they were from the summary - showing that fae and merfolk also exist in your world will entice fantasy readers who like that into your book.

Basically, your summary just needs much more detail. You need to convince people that yours is the book that they want to read, and your world is the one they want to journey through. Knowing that a main character is going to discover lots of secrets isn't particularly intriguing to me, neither is the fact that her and two random friends are going to go to a college and be the keepers of something that I don't know is important or special or what it even is, or the fact that it all seems pointless because there's no danger or reason why.

Ok, that sounded a little rant-like, but you get what I mean. More details please. You've already got them to click on it with that cover - now get them to read it!

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