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Username: Rowan Carver Title: King Eden Chapters reviewed: 1 and 2
TITLE: This is the kind of story that tells about a person, so having the name is good enough as a title.
COVER: I loved the previous cover more. This isn't bad at all, though a bit drab. The quality is not very good. It's not sharp. Perhaps you have some issue with the size of the cover or something.
BLURB: I think your blurb is very effective at telling us the point of the story, the plot, and the conflict.
CONTENT: I know you asked for the prologue and Chapter 1, but this took so long to write, which I apologise, so here I am, reviewing chapters 1 and 2.
I've read the story before, till chapter… can't remember. Almost 20 chapters in? And it was amazing to read. Different. Fresh. Unique. New. Now that I'm reading the most recent draft, my opinion doesn't change. It is still amazing (better, I guess), unique, fresh. You are so brave to use the present tense 1st POV to write such an intricate story and setting. I guess when you're good at it, anything works! You made the 1st POV 'omniscient' by giving Eden some kind of heightened senses, which is a very creative way of telling the story!
Great grammar, great humour, great characters. Love the simple narration, yet so rich with senses. You have so many descriptions, but somehow it doesn't drown your storytelling.
The story is clearer this round, and more straightforward, but perhaps it's because this is my second time reading it. Eli sounds a lot more mature than his age. Is he 6? I can't remember. Still, it's good to see some interaction between the mother and son. The first time was just King doing all the talking. And I realized some things are much clearer now, such as what the connection and goals of the Martians are.
I love to see how hard you work for this book. You actually remind me of myself 🤣 if only you were on Wattpad sooner and knew me longer, I bet you could see why I said that. 🤣
Anyway, the point is, I love diligent writers like you. It's good to see your growth, it's relatively fast! I'm proud of you as someone who knows you from the time you have less than 5k reads.
From what I've read from the previous draft, I know this is an amazing story, and when I finish all the pending reviews, I'm gonna continue reading!
