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i. COVER & TITLE
I can't say the cover is very good in my eyes. It's pretty bland and doesn't have a ton going for it. It doesn't look very original, but it doesn't necessarily look bad either, since everything is legible. I would consider working with a designer to get a new one that may have a bit more representation in it. What do you want people to get from your cover? Are there any important symbols that you might want to include?
The title is okay, but it doesn't really make much sense to me off the bat. Since there's no real explanation in the blurb, either, I don't think the title really makes as much of an impact as we want. I don't have any suggestions for the title as of now, but if you want to keep the title as is, I would add something into the blurb that slightly explains it or even just mentions it.
ii. BLURB
I actually kind of like the really short, really concise blurb; it works well for me! Short blurbs don't appeal to everyone, so you might want to add a little more information on the characters, the plot, this society and what is going to happen. Otherwise, I do kind of like the mystery-type aspect you've created with the very short blurb. But the lack of any substantial information in the blurb caused me some confusion later on.
0 9 / 1 5
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i. GRAMMAR
#1: COMMAS
You have pretty good grammar, but you misuse the comma a bit, which can interrupt your story. For example:
'On these streets one cannot go two feet without running into an old cigarette box, or an empty syringe.'
So here, you need a comma after the introductory phrase 'on these streets'. However, that's not actually that important and most people would be just fine without that comma. The one that is more important is the comma you've used before the conjunction 'or' here. That shouldn't be there, since all of that is the same thought, and the second phrase isn't independent. So corrected:
