The Aristocrat's Daughter (T)

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The Aristocrat's Daughter written by annabellacx

The Aristocrat's Daughter written by annabellacx

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i. COVER & TITLE

Your cover is pretty, representative of the story, and it creates a professional vibe. Nice. No problems here. There is potential for it to be just a little deeper; I know some designers are able to do manipulation and shadows that just make the cover pop, so perhaps you might be interested in one of the many graphic shops in my reading list. As for your title, I have similar thoughts. It's unique and it's mysterious. Perfect.


ii. BLURB

I think you need to rewrite your blurb. Here are my tips to getting started:

Don't use dialogue in your blurb. You have only a few words to hook your readers--don't waste them on commas, dialogue tags, or quotations that mostly include empty phrases. Pick a one-liner that is abstract, meaningful and contains no inside punctuation. Make good use of your space. If you absolutely must include the dialogue, put it at the end. But I didn't think yours was essential.

Don't use last names in your blurb, and avoid as many first names as possible. As harsh as it sounds, people really don't care about the last name of your character--nor is it meaningful to them at this point. Ideally, you shouldn't use names at all in the first two paragraphs of your blurb. Here's the science behind that: The capacity of a person's memory is directly related to how interested/invested they are in what they're reading. In the first few lines of your blurb, your reader will only remember things that are interesting to them. In addition, confusing things like names will deter the reader from reading further. However, towards the end of the blurb, once you've caught their interest, they're more likely to be able to remember and make use of the names. Ideally, you shouldn't use actual names until the very end of your blurb (if you're wondering how on earth this is possible, take a look at my sample blurb below).

Don't be afraid to edit. Blurbs are the kind of things you have to write, write again, then write again and again. Unfortunately, I don't have a blurb rewrite for you as I usually do--I simply didn't get far enough into the plot to create one I think is substantial, so instead I've tried to put together a process for you:

Step 1 Write down everything you want to put in your blurb. Write them in short, choppy sentences, and don't worry about the length at this point, nor the flow or word choice. Just get the info out. Example, done with my characters:

There is an oprhan that is morally solid. He has a plan. It is very dramatic. It involves Archer leaving his island to find a deadly ship. The ship is beautiful. The ship is captained by a man very ruthless. Archer must trick the captain. He wants to become a crew member and ride the ship to the Kingsland so he can kill the king. The king is bad. Archer is morally solid, the rest of the crew is not. He finds himself caught up in a lot of mind games with a strategist aboard the ship. She is very smart. She is also a Siren. In order to be successful, Archer must lie a lot. He must kill a lot. He must fight for his morality. Then I want to say something connecting to my title for a dramatic finish.

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