Random Sanders Sides One Shots

Mr. Snuffles

TW: Caps as in yelling. Mentions of sad boi. Cursing. But it's a very adorable oneshot.
Ships: None!

Roman sighed and walked into his house after a particularly long day, running a hand through his hair and dropping his bag to the side of the door. Only after he heard a strangled meow did he open his eyes.

And screamed.

--

"REMUS CREATIVITY INTRUSIVE-THOUGHTS SANDERS, DUKE OF THE DARK SIDE AND INFAMOUS KILLER, I SWEAR TO ALL THINGS LIGHT AND HOLY, YOU ARE DEAD TO ME!"

Remus blinked from the other side of the phone call before calmly asking, "... what?"

"You know exactly what you did, you-you- JERK!"

"... I actually don't this time, brother dearest. Care to enlighten me?"

"So you mean you weren't the one who put all the feral cats in my house??"

Remus fell quiet for a minute before suddenly he burst out laughing. "Oho noho! I wihish I cohould take credit for that, but that wasn't me!!"

Roman huffed and banged his head against a wall, causing a few of the cats to meow up at him. "... Do you know who did?"

"No. Want me to add the others to this video call?"

"Please."

A few minutes later, four more faces looked at each other. "... Why are we here?" asked Virgil, raising an eyebrow at the twins.

"I totally wasn't busy," Janus drawled, leaning back as Roman placed his phone on his counter and stepped back.

"Who the fuck put six cats in my house?" he demanded, glaring at the camera. It was silent for a minute before Logan snorted, covering his mouth quickly.

"Ooh. The dork did it! No one expected that!" Remus cackled as Janus smirked.

"Lo! Why would you do such a thing??" Patton scolded, eyes wide.

"Good one, Logan. Wish I'd thought of that. Can I leave now?" the lying side asked wearily.

"WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT?? DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW MANY CATS THIS IS?! HOW MANY GLASS THINGS THEY COULD KNOCK OVER OR FANCY COUCHES THEY COULD CLAW UP-"

"Calm down, Roman. They have been declawed so you won't have to worry about them scratching up your furniture. As for glasses and such, I know for a fact you have everything valuable up high so your clumsy-self won't break them. Cover a few wall sockets and you're good."

Roman huffed. "What about vet bills?? How am I going to make sure they aren't sick or have some disease or something??"

"We're imaginary and you are Creativity, simply create some more money for yourself."

"Do you know how badly that will screw up the economy??"

"Good luck." Logan hung up, quickly followed by Janus, and then Patton, after saying goodbye. Virgil was giving Roman a pleading look, causing him to raise an eyebrow.

"After you figure out what you're going to do with them, can I have one?? Please??"

Roman smiled gently and nodded. "Of course, Vee."

"Thank you so so much, Princey. I gotta go now. Bye!"

Remus looked over at his brother once everyone else had hung up. "... Need any help?"

"I think I got it. Thanks, Re." Roman smiled at him, looking back at the cats behind him. "I'll give you one if you want it."

"THANK YOU SO MUCH! I WANT THE MOST FERAL ONE!" Remus grinned and waved at him before ending the call, leaving the other to set his phone down and turn around again.

"... Alright. Let's see your names."

--

Eventually, Roman gave Virgil a little black cat named Salem, who didn't meow as much as the others, and Remus a calico with only one eye. He named it Stinky, obviously, and laughed when it tried to crawl on his head.

As for the other four, he became quickly attached to them. One was named Jade, and she was a big, fluffy Maine coon. The other was apparently TeaCup, who was a tiny hairless cat, and the last two were just mix breeds. Sweetie and Mr. Snuffles.

Mr. Snuffles was his absolute favorite, though he would never tell the other three. He was a fat, grey and white cat with a few scratches on his face, and would usually curl up in Roman's lap while he was writing or creating a poem. Sometimes he would reach up and gently paw at his face when he was stressed or sad and was just the right weight to hold in your arms when you felt too lonely.

And Mr. Snuffles didn't mind. Roman gave him food and love and seemed like a very sweet guy, if a little rash sometimes. Of course, cats can't think in coherent sentences, as far as we know. So it was probably just a bunch of meows and purrs.

Roman would walk out of his bedroom every morning, and the four cats would trail after him, waiting as he filled the food bowls Patton bought for him and then eat breakfast with the prince. At first, he thought he would be annoyed by four cats, but turns out he was lonely at his house more often than he thought.

Sweetie was very calm, and he accidentally started giving her more attention whenever he took his meds and waited on them to kick in, so she would always meow around that time of day, which soon became a sort of adorable alarm clock. TeaCup constantly looked just done with everyone, which created several very hilarious situations. Jade was about three feet long since she wasn't a pure-bred Maine coon, and she loved to run and play like a dog.

So, maybe he did get very attached to the cats, but they soon became his own little family, and he couldn't really complain.

But seriously, you think you know someone.