Hopeless Romantic | ✔️

1| Passion and Commitment

Noah shook his head and chuckled. "The triangular theory of love, PC. Passion, commitment, and intimacy."

"PC..." I muttered, and as soon as I said it, my eyes lit up. "PASSION AND COMMITMENT!"

"Don't forget intimacy," Noah said, "though, I'm not sure where that fits into your name... Anyway, keep your head in the game! I asked you here, you know, to give you a little psychological insight. So you can fall in love."

"But... How are triangles supposed to help me fall in love?" I asked.

Noah sighed. "I just want you to find someone, PC. You know that, right?"

I nodded. Because I knew he was sincere. He wanted me to find love just as much as everyone else did. I knew he invited me to his seminar because talking in terms of psychology was the easiest way for him to explain things to me even if I was kind of lost when it came to most of the concepts. He was doing it all out of a good heart.

"You're trying to help me find my very own Kat Stratford," I said, then furrowed my eyebrows, suddenly confused and conflicted. "Or Patrick Verona."

"You can have either," Noah said, nudging my shoulder comfortingly.

My sexuality was still a weird thing for me to talk about, sometimes to even think about. I basically came out to my friends by signing up for a dating app, but I hadn't legitimately talked to any of them about it. Word of mouth from Cayden and the others had just spread to the rest of the friend group and before I knew it, everyone else knew about my possible bisexuality. Actually, my confirmed bisexuality which was still confusing to me. No one needed me to sit down and have a huge heart-to-heart about the entire thing, which was comforting as much as it was still a bit odd.

What made things even more conflicting was the incident last year at the graduation party I'd planned in Newport Beach for a graduating senior class. When I had accidentally ran into a guy named Tyler and dropped all of my rubber ducks. He had helped me pick them up and when I finally got a good look at him, I felt butterflies flutter around in my stomach, a new sensation. It was the first (and only) time that a guy had kissed me, and his imperfect slightly chapped lips and rough hands caught me off guard when I compared it to the feeling of kissing Gracie, the only girl I'd ever kissed and person I'd ever dated. But one thing was clear from that point on:

I was definitely attracted to guys.

I had thought about the incident with Tyler from Newport nearly every day since it happened; I thought about how he was a dude and I was a dude and I was very attracted to him and his lips and his hands that had wandered to the back of my neck, into my hair, and then trailed down my chest and sent a wave of an undeniable and unparalleled flutter throughout my entire body.

And thinking about my attraction towards another guy, my mind switched thoughts:

If I married a man, then I would have the same problem as Cayden and Jeremy with having kids. I didn't have any eggs. I would've suggested running to the supermarket to get some, but Logan had recently explained to me that eggs in reference to having children were a very different thing than the eggs you buy at a store. It was still an odd concept for me to grasp fully, but she gave me a whole powerpoint presentation and now I knew that the eggs I scrambled for breakfast were not the same eggs that brought a child's life to the world.

All this reminded me that I needed to add eggs to my weekly grocery list.

"The psychology of love is tricky, PC," Noah said. "Just look at Logan and me. Yikes, right? I can make crude jokes and even when she yells at me to shut up, I know she's only joking. Until she isn't, but I've learned to spot the difference between the playful Logan and the one that actually wants to kill me. But I know she'll love me no matter what."