Shawn cuddling you when you're sad | Blurb

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"Hey honey." You hear Shawn mumble as he silently opens the door wider to the dim bedroom in your apartment.

You hurry to wipe away the salty tears sticking to your sore cheeks and shut your eyes in a desperate attempt to strangle your fragile sobs echoing the chilled room.

You listen carefully as he drags his feet across the wooden floor, unable to tell whether you're still up or have already fallen to sleep. The knot in your stomach grows but you won't allow him to find out.

Shawn sits on the edge on his side of the large, white bed with his feet dangling just above the cold floor.

His slim fingers run down your arm hiding underneath the warm covers and leaves goose bumps on your skin. His hand reaches the curve of your hip and he begins to softly embrace your body as a loving gesture.

Leaning down, Shawn presses his warm lips against your heated forehead and you feel another aching yank shoot through your chest. You hold your breath to cover the cries pressing on and keep your eyes close to avoid his attempt at contact.

"Are you awake, love?" He whispers, his nose brushing lightly against your still wet hair.

You want to answer him, but you're fully aware that you won't be able to stop crying if you open your mouth.

You don't really know what's wrong. You don't know why your heart is hurting or why your chest is constantly aching.

Shawn's thumb slides to your cheek and he lets out a small sigh when he feels your skin soaking with tears.

"I know you're awake, honey." Shawn points out, " Why are you upset? What's going on?" You hear the concern in his voice and somehow, it makes it all worse.

Your head hasn't been kind to you today and you don't want Shawn to know, for some reason, you feel embarrassed about it.

You chew on your bottom lip as another loud sob wants to escape from your mouth and your body sinks further together.

"Please, tell me what's wrong?" He begs you as you finally open your eyes.

The colour seems to disappear from Shawn face as he sees your sad stare, the tears are slipping and you have given up on fighting them.

"Nothing."

"Don't lie to me."

"I don't know." "You blur, your lips trembling. "I don't know what's wrong with me."

"Oh honey." Shawn mumbles as he finds your hand and gives you a soft embrace.

"I guess I really just need you to hold me right now." You tell him, your heart aching.

You have hardly even finished your sentence when Shawn's swings his legs into the bed, reaches out for your waist to pull you across the mattress and lets your back rest against his chest. He begins planting loving kisses on your shoulders and all you can do is close your eyes and allow his love to reach your the bones.

You come undone in his arms, tears falling while choking on your forced breaths. You chest aching and your body beyond sore.

And Shawn knows, he knows what's going on and why you're hurting without you even saying a word. He knows you're sometimes at war with your mind and that some days you need more validation than other's. He knows that you tend to overthink and spin out of control, he knows and he loves you anyways. He even loves you harder on the days you need it.

"I'm right here, okay?" He whispers into your ear. "I'll be here as long as you need me to."

Shawn tightens his arms around your body and you feel safe when he pulls you further towards his chest. He rests his chin on your collarbone as his hands continues you embrace you in the most loving way. As he plants sweet kisses on your shoulder, you feel your mind at ease within the matter of seconds.

Shawn's your anchor, he keeps you disappearing into the storms and he makes sure, you're always able to find your way home.

You find Shawn's hands closed around your stomach and place your palms against his knuckles. You feel a smile from behind as your heart begins to slow down the harsh pounds that have been bothering you most of the night.

Shawn kisses your neck while you allow yourself to fall into his body, disappearing from the world to connect fully to him.

"You know I love you, right?"

"Mhh."

"Say it, please." He says, pressing his lips against your shoulder. "Tell me you know how much I love you."

"I know you love me, Shawn. With all you have." You assure him.

"And I won't ever stop loving you like this. I'll love you on the good days and the bad days. I'll always love you, when you can't seem to find any love towards yourself."

You feel his warm lips moving against your skin and it leaves you covered in goose bumps. You don't know what to say but you know Shawn isn't expect you to. All you want, all you need is to lay here entangle to his body and feel like you're finally at peace, at least for a while.

"It kills me that your mind can make you feel so worthless." He says, cuddling further into you.

"It's a good thing you keep my head from going under." You whisper back.

"I'm sorry you're upset, hon." Shawn tells you, a slight stutter in his voice. "I wish I could make this all better."

"As long as you're laying here with me, I'm better."

"I'll lay here day in and day out, whatever makes you feel the tiniest bit better." He promises as you drift to sleep in his arms. 

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