Issues (Smut)

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We were sitting in the jeep on the highway from Toronto back to Pickering and though we weren't even half way yet, the drive seemed longer than usual.

Painfully longer.

Though it was a rather warm summer day, I felt the chills run down my spine as soon as we got into the car. The pesky silence between us was smothering, suffocating really and made my entire body linger in the most uncomfortable way possible.

My eyes were carefully watching the cars driving pass us every other second, so I wouldn't catch Shawn's eyes by mistake.

***

"You really think I'd ever do something like that?"

"I don't know Shawn, do you want to fuck a model?"

"This is mad, fucking insane. It's all your stupid insecurities talking shit"

"So I'm stupid now?"

"That's not what I said, don't-"

"Don't what?!"

"Don't put your trust issues on me. I don't deserve that. I've never done anything to make you doubt me. I liked a fucking picture"

"You like a lot of fucking pictures! Are you just going to walk away? Seriously? Fine, whatever"

***

We had just had a massive fight about something as stupid as a like on Instagram and we hadn't said two full sentences to each other since we got in the car.

It was my fault really; I put way too much into something that didn't have any meaning at all, but I'd been burned too many times to let it slide and this particular thing made Shawn angry as well and before we knew it, we were screaming at each other and saying things we didn't really mean.

The hurtful words we exchanged was replaying in my head over and over again. It wasn't because I was still upset with him nor was he still upset with me. We had talked it out before leaving and we were good, but the frustration and anger was still haunting my body.

I felt like we both needed to step wisely these seconds to not light the fire again, but really, wasn't it always like that after a fight?

My eyes carefully glanced over at Shawn for a second or two, watching his eyes focusing on the road ahead, his mouth gaping wide open and his head nodding slightly in tact to the slow music from the stereo.

Shawn's thumbs were rubbing the leather of the steering wheel bitterly, his nails digging harder into the fabric every other second. His teeth kept digging into his bottom lip, leaving slight red marks behind afterwards.

Shawn tilted his head my way and I hurried to point my eyes back at the road again. I wasn't sure why, but I didn't know what to do with myself. Normally, I could take a walk and calm myself down but we had to get going right after going head to head with each other.

I heard an almost silent sight slipping out of Shawn's mouth; it made me feel guilty about the way I was acting. Childish, really. Shawn's fingers moved from the steering wheel to the radio as he turned down the music.

"We can't go home like this. Stop being mad already, will you?" he begged me, biting into his bottom lip.

His voice sounded so desperate, so desperate it actually stung in my heart and a nagging feeling spread in my pounding chest. His eyes were staring out on the road, but I knew he held his breath.

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