The Newcomer (SEMI-ON HOLD)

Chapter Thirty One

HAPPY NEW YEAR MY DARLINGS!
I hope you all are having a better New Years than I did 2020 started a little rough but it's a new decade, it's a fresh new slate!

You have all the freedom in the world to change your life so start early :)

Thanks for being so patient in waiting! I understand it hasn't been easy but long last we have a new chapter and I really hope you enjoy it!

31

This morning was the day I beat my alarm. I set it to 7:30 last night, but I'm wide awake at 5. My mind won't stop whirring. There's a constant noise that never silenced... however you call it.

I fear I made a big mistake yesterday. I'm afraid I might've just jeopardised my relationship with the girl I love, and it's killing me. Jacky is someone who keeps her word, so when she doesn't want to talk, she won't talk.

You won't get a word out of her, nor will she want one from you. She's done that to Kennedy when she pissed her off, and it was a pain to watch. It just so happens... it's me this time, and it's fucking crushing me!

"Oh! You're up!" I look up from my cup and see my mom walk past the door in the kitchen. "Do you want anything to eat?"

I shake my head until I realise she can't see me. "No thanks, mom." I answer then the scuffling in the kitchen stops.

Mom pokes her head through the gap, looking worried. "You have to eat something, Kim..." she sighs.

"Mom, you're late for work already." I say, hoping it would persuade her to stop because if I do say a word about yesterday, I might lack the restraint not to cry.

But no. Mom pulls up a seat beside me. She squeezes my hand, setting it on her lap and when I drop my gaze, she gently tips my chin up to look at her. There's a warmth in her eyes making it really hard not to cave in.

"I don't care." She whispers. "What's going on?"

Of course mom would figure that out straight away. I let out a deep breath, forcing me to feel the tension that's been building in my chest. It doesn't go away; it's screaming at me, demanding to be felt.

"It's just things with Jacky." I admit, feeling like my lungs are about to collapse. The tears spring to my eyes in a matter of seconds, and next they're falling on my lap. "I feel like I should do something... but I don't know what,"

I saw how she looked yesterday, and I've never seen her like that. It was a different, deeper kind of pain written all over her face. A kind that shouldn't be on someone so young. Worse, she still tried to hide it no matter how clearly I could see it.
I don't know how Jacky's doing; what she's planning to do! I'm worried she'll do something she'll regret. The way we left things yesterday left so many questions unanswered and I'm afraid I did more bad than good!

"Okay, Kimmy, listen to me." Mom squeezes my shaking hands in her lap, pulling me away from spiralling. I force myself to look up at her, and she slowly brushes my tears away. It's comforting, in a way. "I can see you're trying to so hard to understand what she's going through, but sometimes you just won't know, and that's okay! Especially if we haven't experienced what they have."

"Well I wish I thought of that," I huffed and I catch a small smile tugging on the corner of my mom's lips.

"Look, Kimmy, I don't know Jacky very well, but I know she loves you," my cheeks turn bright red, "You love her, and she knows. She's just overwhelmed by... everything. She's only a kid, just like you are. Maybe giving her space now is the best thing, okay? When she's ready, she will tell you."

I sigh, sinking into my seat "okay," I huffed.

"Good. And look, I know you're always compelled to do something for someone you love, but they need to do things on their own sometimes." Mom didn't hesitate. "Besides. Jacky is a smart sensible girl. If there's anyone who knows what to do, it's her."