With Every Step We Take

Chapter 36

I wake up screaming bloody murder. My body trembles in fear, and it is uncontrollable. I know it is from a nightmare, but the memory of it left as soon as I woke up.

I breath deeply and start to pray. "GOD you are with me, help me to overcome these nightmares." I whisper, on my knees.

When I sit back up in my bed, I chuckle bitterly. I went a couple of days nightmare free, and now they are back. Even though I don't remember the one I just had I know it was the worst one by a long shot. Simply, because of the after effects it is having on me.

No matter how many deep breaths I take, it continues to consume me. I rock back and forth, failing to remove the raw fear from my body. Was it that bad? Obviously.

Despite my helplessness, I relentlessly call on JESUS' name. This dream might of been bad, but his name will remove all fear. If I focus on it long enough I will be delivered.

"JESUS." I call. I don't feel the effects I want, so I call again.

"JESUS."

"JESUS!" I call once more.

'Yes.' A soothing voice answers patiently.

"I need help GOD, I don't understand why I am so afraid. I don't understand what that dream did to me."

'My dearest Christen, I am greater than these bad dreams. I will continue to hold you, until all effects of the dream have been erased, and even after that.'

A smile brings itself to my lips in the midst of my panic.

"Thank you JESUS." I say, and drift back to sleep.

The next time I wake up it's time to go to school. I can already tell my mood's not the greatest, but I try to ignore it.

I take a shower, and get dressed pretty quickly. I don't want to be late. There is no doubt that boyfriend of mine will leave me if I am.

I didn't wash my hair, but I try to make it look presentable. It's not exactly cooperating, so I push it back with a head band.

"Good morning Christen." Dj says, when I come down the stairs. He was probably my only sibling that was awake.

I smile at him. "Hey buddy, what's up?"

"I have a science test today." He says.

"Are you ready for it?" I ask, knowing he has a history of not studying.

He nods his head.

"Good boy." I say proudly, and he grimaces.

"I'm not a dog."

"Are you sure about that?" I laugh, as I go in the kitchen.

I find my parents, discussing something while they feed the twins.

When they realize I'm there, they suspiciously end their conversation.

"What were you guys talking about?" I ask them curiously.

"Nothing." They both say quickly.

I make it clear in my posture and gaze that I'm not going to let this go, and they give in.

"Ok honey, don't get upset." My mom begins, trying to settle down an unruly Caleb.

"We don't particularly want you going out of the country by yourself on a missionary trip."

I chew on the inside of my cheek. Decan warned me they would have a problem with this. I was hoping after they went to the seminar last night they would feel better about me going. I guess not...