Reminiscence

Chapter .37.

A-I-D-E-N

I pedal so fast that I think I won't be able to feel my legs tomorrow. It was worth it though. I couldn't wait to tell Renesse the great news. She'd texted me and I decided to just tell her the great news face-to-face.

I was so worried I was going to be late. I didn't want her to think I was dead in a ditch somewhere, because knowing her, she's the oh-I'm-just-going-to-assume-the-worst-case-scenario-and-freak-the-fuck-out kind of person.

I swerve around the last turn and quickly park my bike in the shed. I pat its handle. "Thanks Mocho." Yes, I named my bike Mocho. Don't hold me bad naming skills against me, I'm actually a nice guy.

I jog over to the house and unlock the door, overly eager.

But then I'm greeted with a cold silence. The house is empty. I frown. I thought she said she'd be home by the evening. I check my watch. It was already 7 and was getting pretty dark. Now I was picturing worse case scenario and freaking out.

I decide to wait for just a few minutes and then go search for her. If I was gone when she got home, it would be much worse.

I head upstairs and throw my shirt over my head. I rummage through the spare clothes she'd given me and pick out something comfy. Just as I'm about to put it on, I catch a glance of something in the mirror.

I walk closer to my reflection and look at my abdomen to see a faint white scar that I hadn't seen before. It was near my hip bone, and ran along the v-line of my stomach muscles. I frown and trace it with the tip of my finger.

It was scary, yet intriguing, losing your memory. You just forget who you are, all the little things, and when you look in the mirror someone else is looking back at you. Everything about me was new, foreign.

I step back and look at myself for the millionth time, the same lithe body, with lean muscle hidden underneath, not-so-broad-but-broad-enough shoulders but it doesn't feel familiar at all.

I never liked my hair, ever since the beginning. It was curly and all over the place. I could never make it look decent. No amount of hair gel or even the finest comb could tame the wild curls.

I huff in annoyance and look away from the unnevering reflection. I put my shirt on and throw off my pants. I hated dress pants. I could say that now that I wore them.

I put on a pair of running shorts and shut the wardrobe. Just as I do so, I hear the front door open.

Relief floods through me and I can't stop the grin on my face as I jog down the stairs.

There she is, but not how I expected her to be. I don't think I've ever seen her like this. Something about her just looks so out of place that I start to worry.

"Hey, you're looking a little down." I say to her as she drops her backpack on the floor dejectedly.

She looks up to me. And her golden eyes glisten with tears.

"Wha-" I begin to say but I am cut off by her collapsing to the floor and burying her face in her hands.

I just stand there. I'd never seen her this vulnerable. I didn't know what to do. If I say something I'd just make it worse. I just move closer to her and put my hand on hers.

She looks at me through glazed eyes. "I'm sorry, I'm so, so sorry. I don't know what to do, I'm so confused." Her voice is thick as she struggles to hold her tears back.

I'm confused as to why she's apologizing, but don't ask what happened, because I feel like it'll just make things worse.

"Let it out. Holding it in makes it worse." I say and run my fingers over her hair gently.