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A D D I S O N

They dragged me to the police station. I sat in a small room and told the officers everything. I couldn't hide most of it. Apparently the police already had footage from the hospital.

I watched the footage and try to recap on certain things he did. When we got to the end I actually focused. When I pushed him off the bed he hit his head on the floor and started to convoluting. White foam coming out of his mouth. The police officers told me it was from the drugs, but I couldn't help but wonder if it wasn't, and they just felt bad for me.

Maybe I made him have a seizure, like Nadia did to Luke.

"Would you be willing to testify?" The officer asked. I looked at mum and dad. They both wore the same expression.

"I don't know." I answer honestly.

"Okay, well stuff like this takes a while to go through so you take your time." The officer smiled. He told us goodbye and we head back home.

"I'm going to go to bed." I say as soon as we walk through the doors. I notice everyone's still here.

"Oh, we were going to watch some movies and order pizza." Mum says. I shrug heading up the first few steps.

"The nightmare before Christmas, your favourite!" Ivy tells me.

"Not feeling in the Tim Burton mood." I shrug again.

"You can have your favourite spot!" Nadia smiles.

"Keep it." I mumble already up the stairs.

I head to my bedroom to find Ashton passed out on it. I clear my throat as he jolts awake.

"Sorry, fuck. I haven't slept in a bit and Luke told me to-"

"It's okay." I silence him.

"I'm sorry." He mumbles.

"I think Luke's bed is free." I tell him.

"Right." Ashton nods, standing up.

"Night." I hum crawling into my pillow and blanket filled bed.

"I didn't sleep with that girl." Ashton whispers.

"What?" I question.

"That night everything happened to Luke. I didn't sleep with her. I didn't do anything with her. I only did things with people two months after we were done." Ashton swallows looking back at me.

We stare at each other wondering who's gonna make the next move.

"Why didn't you stay that day?" I feel the tears coming back. My tear ducts couldn't catch a break.

"I was scared, for Luke. I thought I wouldn't be any good there." Ashton wipes under his eye. "That's my biggest regret Addison. Fuck if I would have just fucking man'd up maybe, maybe none of this wouldn't have happened." He sucks in his cheeks slightly shaking his head.

"Maybe. But it did happen and we can't pretend it didn't so let's not talk in metaphorical pasts." I swallow.

"That day when Luke had that seizure, I knew you'd be there and I practiced this speech, some total cheesy thing that I knew you'd love. And when he was there I was so fucking mad. But I didn't want to yell or anything because I felt like maybe that's what I deserved, because I wasn't there for you." Ashton sits on the edge of my bed. "But then when he put his hands on you I was livid." Ash closes his eyes letting a tear fall down his cheek. "If I would have just said something to you-"

"There was nothing you could have said Ash. You can blame yourself for what happened." I mumble holding onto his balled fists. They instantly soften.

"Fuck I missed you." Ashton laughs shaking his head.  His puppy dog eyes flash up to meet mine.

"Don't do that." I look away trying not to fall for him.

"Do what?" He asked, he knew exactly what he was doing. It became one of his many talents.

"I need time right now Ashton. Doesn't matter who Ryder became I was in love with him. I need time to grieve that relationship." I tell him. I couldn't help but feel guilty even talking to Ash. But the more he gave me those eyes the more I wanted to fall into him.

Ryder's eyes made me fear him and sense the power he held over me. Ashton's eyes could get like that, but during- well us- I only saw the soft greens that melted me.

"I didn't mean to fall for you, Addison-" He smiled looking down at his hands. "It happened slowly at first like honey dripping down, then all at once. And god I was head over heels for you. I wrote you poetry and sappy love songs. I waited 5 years to let you know how I felt, I guess a bit longer wouldn't hurt." He smiled softly. His hand traced over my as he picked it up like a light feather. He lips softly touched down against my skin and he let them linger making my cheek glow a bright red.

"Ash-"

"Goodnight." He stood pulling away finally. A dumb smile played on my lips.

"Goodnight." I lay my head down as he leaves my room, closing the door on the way out.

I stare at the ceiling thinking about everything.

Thinking way too much.

When Ryder get out, if Ryder gets out, he's going to be fuming. And of course he'll be back here because he's just like Ashton in the sense of he wants what he believes is his.

He's nothing like Ashton in the sense of I'm not his.

Somewhere in my body, I wanted to slap myself silly, because I missed the warmth of Ryder sleeping next to me.

A S H T O N

I pressed my body against the bed with a sleepy grin on my face.

She'll be mine again in no time.

I tried not to think about him because everything I did my fists would clench and my face would feel hot. I wanted him gone. I didn't want him to ever be able to hurt her again. I knew in my heart that required me never hurting her again, because as long as she was mine he would never be able to touch her.

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