shakespeare | h.s.

029

Song of the Chapter: Written in the Stars - WENDY (from Red Velvet) & John Legend

SHIFTING from her position, she finally sat up from the bed. She checks the clock placed on the bedside table and reads that it's 3:27 a.m. She runs her hands through her hair out of frustration and stands up. She approaches the table where the one liter of soda is placed and pours it in a glass. She gets the drink and walks towards the window. She takes a sip from her drink as she stares up, gazing up at the noctiphany of the asterism, where it all started.

She started to think. What if I didn't make him come with me to stargaze? Was it some kind of apotelesma? What if we just stayed there in the café and had a normal conversation? What if we didn't kissed? What if we didn't continue interacting with sweetness every now and then? What if I didn't agree to sneak out with him that night? What if we never had those 'dates'? What if things were different? Am I still going to fall for him?

Probably. Harry Styles isn't hard to love. If she can adore him from afar and behind a television screen with the knowledge that he doesn't know her existence, there's no doubt any woman would adore him even more when they get to know him personally. He's sweet, caring and a pure gentleman. Besides that, he's talented and creative. He's any girl's dream boy. So why is she hesitating? 

She knows. She knows what he's trying to say back earlier when they were under the rain. Well, kind of. He wants to say something about what he feels about her but she has no idea what he's feeling about her. She refuse to think that she's just someone that will satisfy his notch on his pants but she can't help but to think about that time he started kissing her neck. It wasn't that she didn't enjoy it. But she knows where would those kisses have led. 

She wasn't ready. Her virginity was nothing too precious for her but the thought that she haven't gave that up during her hard times makes it more difficult to give up for someone who just wanted it for a one time purpose only.

He's not thinking of her like that, right?

He's nowhere the media's describing him, she knows that. But if, hypothetically, they do end up together and he asks for more, would she be willing to give that up?

And why her? He's a realistic Greek god! Why would he pick her, a Filipina, teenage, reckless and weird nobody, if he could have any beautiful, sexy, rich and successful models he wants? In other words, why isn't he picking a woman who has the same level as him? Why is he spending so much time with her when he has Kiko and Townes and a lot more ladies who's been fantasizing him to be theirs? Hypothetically, he does like her and she obviously likes him back, there's so many things that she has to consider for them. 

She mentioned the concupiscence. But how about... His occupation? What would his publicist or his whole team say if he would be in a relationship with a teenager? He'll be called a pedophile even though it's not true. The media has dirty thoughts and has the ability to turn private things that shouldn't matter to make the tabloids headlines and the trending Twitter hashtags. What if he can lose projects being offered to him if that happens?

Which lead her to thinking about the criticism. Not for her, she's suffered enough social bullying to worry about those less, but for him. If he is willing to be with her, his fans wouldn't hug the idea of him with her unless she's a guy, a model or Louis Tomlinson. It must be easier on his side, she thinks. He knows what he desires without having any second thoughts, she thinks. Or is he?

Alone in his expensive suite, sitting on the edge of his bed, he tugs his hair out of frustration from his thoughts as well and stares up outside of his window, making the splendent stars his paraprosexia. He should've confessed earlier so he wouldn't be having these thoughts now. But that's the thing. If he did say he's falling for her at that time, these questions would be harder to answer. The alexithymia has been haunting him for days, weeks, months! But he can't help to fear her rejection, that is. 

She's extraordinary. She's unique. She's not like everyone else like what she sees in herself, only more positive in his eyes. She's different. First of all, she's the only girl he's met that is name after an evening star. Second, she's the only one who isn't afraid to be herself around him. He proves that by their first encounter where she invites him to get up from his seat and stargaze outside. She spends time with him unlike any other that really made him comfortable around her too. Third, she knows everything about everything but refuses to showcase it to everyone.  A smart, talented and kind young lass, she is. 

How come no guy took her seriously? Maybe because she never had a fatherly love, who should be the very first one to treat his daughter how to be loved as a princess. Then those wankers that didn't respected her. No man was deserving to be with Vee, including him. She's just perfect. How did she overcome so many challenges with such a young age? Her maturity and bravery is so applauding. 

Age... She's a minor. He knows he mentions fancying a thirteen-year-old wouldn't bother him but he never knew it would truly happen. A twenty-five-year-old rock star wannabe falling for his sixteen-year-old lyricist? Even Nicholas Sparks nor William Shakespeare would never write a love story if they're the main characters! 

His family, his friends, his management, his supporters. What would they say? He doesn't give a fuck about the words about him after years of staying under the spotlight, but he worries for her. She might be called a gold digger, a social climber and slut even though it's all false! He can't afford to see her cry again like she did when she was depressed.

What if I hurt her? And she'll shed tears all because of me... No!

He would never dare to make her feel in pain! But she will if she's going to be with him and the public continues not to shut the fuck up and continue meddling his private life. He really wishes to be a normal guy again, even though he's grateful for everything, at least he's free to love whoever he loves and he won't be judged at all.

Wait. He's still normal, he's still sane. They won't be judged if they won't let them be judged. That's right. He just have to be strong for him, for them, for her. He'll guide her on everything. All he needs is her. She's the greatest and he'll be a complete tosser if he'll let her go. He sighs audibly and stood up while nodding his head, agreeing to his thoughts. 

"Fine." He mumbles to himself with confidence. "M'confessin' to her as soon as possible."