Chapter 38

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-Nathan-

Fima always tries to not show her happiness and excitement about this marriage but fails every time. First few days, she kinda showed off her engagement ring. Now she tries to keep it in a safe place. Zach and Fima never go on a date without a third wheel. They bicker more than before but they both sem to enjoy it, especially Fima. She's such a weirdo!

Fima is looking gloomy and anxious for the past few days. She's trying to convince her parents but I think her parents do not like her wedding with a foreign boy.

"Hey! Cheer up, girl!"

She looks at me gloomily and shows a gloomy smile.

"Did you talk to your parents today?"

Fima nods.

"Are they still against it? Did you have fight?" I ask anxiously.

"Yeah." She looks elsewhere to hide her tears. "I just don't get it. Why am I getting married to him? My parents are not allowing it. Shouldn't I obey my parents? Without their blessing, we'll never be happy." She sniffs. "Nobody knows what I actually feel, what I actually want. Is it too bad to marry him? Didn't you say that if I refused him in front of everyone, it would bring him shame? I told my parents that too. But they do not understand me."

I sigh inside. She's babbling again. Most of her talks are contradictory nowadays.

"Fima, I told you to accept that time. That time was very important. He was declared as the head of this locality and he proposed in front of everyone. But you can refuse him now, you know? If you feel so much troubled by your parent's comments or you feel so much insecure about our leader, you can refuse him anytime... you know?"

She looks at me with wide eyes. Her chin trembles and tears fall down from her eyes.

Argh!

She's surely our Luna and is so much attached to Zach. Her presence is pressuring me and my heart.

She pushes me hard and I fall on my back. "Nathan, you too don't get it. You too don't know how I feel. Don't talk to me."

"Fima, why can't you be honest with your feelings? You never express what you really feel. You never go on date with Zach alone. You always push him away. If don't say anything clearly, we never know it. C'mon!"

She stands stiff looking at the ground. I say to her again, "Hey! I'm your friend. You can tell me. I know that you li..."

"Shhh! don't say it loudly. I am afraid, Nathan; so afraid. What if this engagement won't work? What if this marriage never works? What if I'm happy about this wedding today but tomorrow morning Zach calls off this engagement? What if, I say what I feel clearly and next day I find another woman on Zach's bed with Zach? What will happen to me and my heart? Moreover my parents aren't allowing me to marry a man from different culture, different belief. What if their lack of blessing brings my worst nightmare into reality?"

I hear her worries for the first time and realize how stressed she is now thinking something weird and unrealistic stuffs. 

Does every girl become this weird worrying about their marriage? Or is it only my friend who is getting weird? 

I feel pity for her. Suddenly she falls on her knees grabbing her head and the next moment she falls on ground. Her hands are moving here and there on the ground to grasp the dead grasses and she's trying to inhale hard.

"Fima!" I think she's having something like panic attack... or... or... I don't know whatever it is but she needs to be taken care of now. I take her into my arms and run to the clinic. "Fima! Fima! It's ok. Try to get relax. Okay? Breathe normally. Everything's okay."

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