A Series Of Events: The Carters

Doubts

Her doctor had informed her she had diastasis recti, which is abdominal separation after a pregnancy. She had been going to see an expert for physical therapy. She first noticed something was off when she picked up an item that didn't weigh much but her core still felt weak picking it up. She had done a few physical therapy sessions and the doctor approved of her working out so long as it's a light work out. Jay was accompanying her to workout. He got on the treadmill and she started with some ropes. She started slowly eventually speeding up her pace.

She immediately dropped the ropes when she felt a sharp pain in her core, she was having a muscle spasm.
"Ouch!" She cried out laying on the floor clutching the source of the pain.
"It's your stomach?" Jay asked concerned immediately rushing to her side.
She just nodded in too much pain to answer.

He felt around her stomach until he could locate the knot that was causing her pain. Just like he watched her physical therapist do he massaged the knot out.
"Ahhhh, ouch" she breathed heavily.
"Damn that's a knot" he said still messaging it. She stopped screaming and her breathing settled so he figured he was doing it right.
"Okay baby I'm good now, thank you."
He helped her off the floor. He got back on the treadmill expecting her to continue her workout too.
He noticed she was walking the opposite direction of the workout equipment with a towel around her neck.
"You done for the day?" He asked surprised.
"Yep" she said not wanting to have this conversation.
"Cmon baby just take it slow, it's not like you to just stop" he urged her.
"No I'm ok."
"You were going a little hard on the ropes if you take it slow—"
"Jay I said I was done."
"Alright" he leveled with her seeing that she was frustrated.

______________________________

"How was the walkthrough today?" She had just come home from a meeting, she was in the beginning stages of putting together her performance for Coachella.
"I just have this vision Jay and in order to execute it I'll have to be in shape."
"You'll be in shape Bey, you just started working out again" he assured her.
"I can barely even exercise without cramping up and having spasms Jay everything is still so weak from the c-section" she had tears in her eyes now.
"Don't cry Bey I'll be there with you and if you cramp up I'll help."
"I just feel like I'll never be the same I've never been this weak and out of shape before."
"You'll be back Bey cmon your body went through a lot it's going to take a lot to get it back."
"Do I want to even go through all this?" She questioned.
He gave her a look that told her he thought she was just talking shit regarding her last statement.
"I'm serious maybe it's a sign I can just stay home with the kids a little longer if I call the performance off."
"Who are you?!" He'd never seen her doubt herself this much before.
"I'm just not in that headspace Jay" she admitted.
He could understand where she was coming from when she said that. He felt the same way when he thought he was ready to retire from rap.
He kissed her forehead "whatever you decide it'll turn out fine."

_______________________________

She was in the twins room feeding them before she put them down for bed.
"Mommy?" Blue whispered as she quietly came in the room searching for her mother.
"I'm here Blue" she whispered back.
"Hi mommy how was work today" she smiled. Blue was in school and after that she was at a play date so this is her first time seeing her mom since the morning.
"It was ok" she gave her daughter a half smile.
"What's wrong?" Blue asked.
Beyoncé smiled at the observant child there really was no getting anything passed her.
"Mommy just didn't have a good day at work."
"Why?"
"Because Mommy is not in a place where she can do all she wants."
"But mommy you're the boss right?" She questioned.
Beyoncé couldn't help but chuckle at her daughter's question.
"Yes."
"So you can do whatever you want! Just work really hard mommy you're the best you can do it."
Did she just get a pep talk from a six year old? And more importantly did it just resonate?
Maybe her six year old was right and it was that simple. She told herself from then on she'd go into rehearsals and workouts with a different mindset. I am the boss. I am the best. I can do it.

•If you have seen the Homecoming doc and have something you want me to write about from anything on there let me know

"In the beginning there were so many muscle spasms and just internally my body was not connected my mind was not there" -Beyoncé (speaking on getting back into shape in her Netflix doc Homecoming)