He sat back and thought about the situation he was in right now all he could do was shake his head. "Just my fuckin luck" he said to himself. Ever since Jay was a kid he had nothing but pain, death, abandonment and financial struggles growing up in public housing, better known as Marcy projects. His father left him then passed away, his uncle is gone too, his nephew due to an accident that he feels partially at fault for. But he believed that god was repaying him for all the things he struggled with when he was younger. He is successful now coming to peace with his losses and he thought god gave him the perfect relationship. But now the last person he'd ever thought would leave him is. His everything, the one woman besides his mother he could open up to, the person that understands him most. Beyoncé. Their love started out subtle then turned into something greater. Something neither of them thought would progress in such a way. The two seemed to balance each other out. What one lacked the other had. They fit like a glove. Of course no relationship was perfect and it wasn't until a little later on in their relationship he noticed a reoccurring issue. It was something they had in common.. The very thing that he thought would tear their relationship apart. MUSIC. Bey was so young and determined and business minded and Jay loved that about her. Those very things he loved about her became poison to their relationship. Progressively as Jay's feelings grew stronger for her and he'd bring up their future she'd become distant from the conversation. This happened a couple of times throughout the course of their relationship then Jay being the analyst he is decided to sit down and think about what it actually meant.. Why did she always shy away when he talked about their future? Marriage specifically.
"She's younger than you and not nearly as far in her career as you've become maybe I'm actually crowding her."
It's a thought that popped in his head several times after that day he sat down and analyzed the situation and the more he thought about it and played with the idea in his head the more it started to make sense.
They were laying in bed snuggled close together Jay playing in her hair half sleep but still very much conscious of his words. He told her he loved her and she told him she loved him too. They were engaging in pillow talk. "You make me so happy" she said to him.
He decided that was the perfect Segway to bring up the question she always seemed to shy away from. "Bey I swear I wanna marry you.." He said making sure to give her eye contact while still playing in her hair. She looked away from his glare. Jay sucked his teeth. He stopped playing in her hair and scooted away from her in the bed. "Jay.." She said upset at his reaction. "What?! Why you soundin disappointed?!" He yelled. "Baby you don't have to yell" she said on the verge of tears. "Nah Bey you don't get to do that this time how I'm supposed to feel when I'm laying myself out there and you always shut me down?" He asked frustrated. She was quiet. "Bey I've been so patient with you but nothing is changing." She looked up at him confused about what he meant by his statement. "I love you but we in two different places right now.." Bey shook her head. She knew exactly what he was trying to say now. "Baby please don't.." She practically begged. "The longer we keep this up the longer it's gonna hurt both of us you don't want the same future as me and I'm holding you back."
"N-no you're not I just need time Jay."
"And that's what I'm giving you time
And space we need a break Beyoncé."
Jay's reminiscing was interrupted by a knock at the door he remembered Bey had called today was the day she'd gather the last of her stuff from his place.
"I don't think it's meant to be, be but she loves her work more than she does me.."
