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"We're coming over for a little today" Solange told her sister. Bey thought about making an excuse for not wanting company but she knew her little sister wasn't having it. "Ok." "Alright see you later sis" she hung up. Jay was coming out the shower. "Solange is coming over later" she told him. She only told him because these days they hadn't been having a lot of conversation at all. "Good, company would be good around here." She didn't like the way he said that but she held her tongue she was being sensitive but she didn't want to start another argument. "You ate yet? We can get breakfast" he asked. "No I didn't eat but I don't feel like leaving the house." He sighed "There's really nothing to eat here the chef won't be here til tomorrow morning" Jay told her. "I can eat a bowl of cereal." "You mind if I go grab something to eat then? I can bring you back something too" he offered. "No I'll just eat the cereal, you go." He really didn't want to go without her especially given the circumstances but there really was next to nothing to eat in the house. "Okay baby I'll be back ASAP" he kissed her forehead. She smirked and watched him as he left the room. She enjoyed the time she had alone with herself. No one asking if she was okay all the time or trying to force her out the house. She was free to just be in her own thoughts. Until she heard the doorbell ring. She opened the door. "Hey sista!" Solo greeted her. "Auntie Bey!!" Julez said hugging her tightly. That made her smile, it was something about a child's presence even during times of grief they lighten the mood. "Sooo me and Julez have tickets to see cirque du soleil and we want auntie Bey to come with us" Solange said. "...I don't know Solange I really don--" "Please aunty Bey please!!" Julez begged. She couldn't say no to her nephew. "Ok Ju I'll come." He clapped.
The show was amazing, she especially loved watching her nephew's face light up at different times during the show. He enjoyed it so much he couldn't contain his excitement. He was very hyper even after the show ended. She knew he'd enjoy the backstage experience so they went back to meet the cast and take a few pics. One of the cast members even pretended to steal her purse in one of the pictures. For the first time in a while she got out the house and up from under that dark cloud that had been following her and genuinely had fun without feeling guilty. They decided to go out to eat dinner. During dinner Julez pointed out the fact that he could make his milk come out his nose, his mother and aunt kindly declined when he asked did they wanna see.
The driver had warned them they were pulling up to Bey's house. "Did you have fun aunty Bey?" "I did Julez the show was very good!" "Alright Bey I'll text you when we get in" Solange said. Julez gave her a big hug "I'm sorry my cousin left but I like to see you happy aunty." That warmed her heart. Leaving must be how Solange described the miscarriage to him. He was still young there was no reason to go into details. Solange heard what her son said and gave her sister a smile.
She needed this day. It was the first step in healing. Everyday would get easier from here she needed to let go of the notion that she should feel guilty for trying to enjoy her life. The loss of a child is catastrophic but she knew she should count her blessings everything will happen on God's time.
