safety pin • Edmund Pevensie #Wattys2019 [✔️]

twenty

[twenty: I swear it]

Over the next few months, life wasn't that easy for Genevieve and she only wished that she could turn back time in order to stop the pain she was feeling emotionally with every passing day. The whole of Narnia knew that the young Queen was suffering. Only 25 years old and being abandoned to rule a kingdom once ruled by four monarchs on her own as well as having to parent a solemn child alone all so suddenly was a harsh reality for the young queen and yet she still put on a brave face that made her look happy as she felt she had to be; for the Narnians and for the child she was bearing who was due in a few months time who would never know their father.

Her heartache was  like a wolf eating at her chest, tearing it's way to her trembling heart. It threatened to devour her, eat her whole and leave nothing but scraps behind. But she refused to be the scraps he would leave. She would rebuild herself and fight off the wolf, but right now she didn't know how. So she did her best to ignore it, she placed a smile on her face and went back to ruling as if she had no worries at all and acted as if she was never hurt at all. But she found he had little appetite for doing so just like she had little appetite for food or anything else. And still the wolf tore at her heart ferociously as she put on a brave and ignored her thoughts. She had to ignore it for her child.

It is a cruelty of life that a heart can keep on beating even after it has been broken in two. It can feel as though it is being gripped in an ice-cold vice and ache as if it will implode in your chest, but still the boom-boom continues as the days go by. Genevieve knew she couldn't give up even as the walls seemed to cave in around her, suffocating her into her own despair that begged her to give up. But she couldn't give up no matter how hard they begged - it wasn't in her blood to do so!

"Your majesty," Someone woke Genevieve from her thoughts by shaking her shoulders slightly. "Are you alright?"

"Perfectly fine thank you Tumnus." Genevieve sighed as she sent the faun a small smile, who looked at her unconvinced. "Honestly I'm fine."

"I've known you a long time Genevieve, you can't lie to me." Tumnus said stubbornly and Genevieve only sighed, knowing that he was right. 

Genevieve raised her hand to her neck as she stared out the window, her fingers ready to grasp the familiar pendant that had kept her sane over the last twenty years only to find it missing as it had been when she checked the day before. She didn't feel her mothers presence anymore; her spell of motherly protection ripped from her grasp unintentionally by Genevieve herself all those months ago when she accidentally gave it away to the one she trusted most. The one who unknowingly betrayed her trust in the promises that had been broken and had now become heart wrenching lies that he had told in confidence. 

Genevieve herself felt lost in the lies. The only thing that was there after searching for so long was the betrayal that had been sent her way as the Pevensies retreated through the trees. It slowly seeped into her heart how much of a fool she had been, living in her own dream world where she floated away from the fake promises and reality until she was just a lost star abandoned by them all.