Call It What You Want - An Aaron Ramsey Fanfiction

Chapter 21

Chapter 21 

"I slept with Liddy… Twice.”

I felt my chest cave in and it was like I couldn’t breathe. I got up and started walking towards the house, I heard Aaron get up behind me and I picked up the pace until I got to the bathroom and slammed the door. “Anais,” Aaron was already on the other side of the door.

I lifted the toilet seat up and retched. “Anais!” Aaron was banging on the door now. He paused and I heard Marlene standing with him. “Is she okay, Aaron?”

“Yeah. Er I think she just felt sick,”

“Poor sweetie, maybe it was the sun. I’ll get her some water. Go in and help her,” She started walking away.

“No. Mum. I think. I think she just wants… I think she jus-“

“Don’t argue with me Aaron.”

There was another silence and then Aaron started tapping on the door. “Anais. I’m sorry. Please. Can we talk.”

I started throwing up again.

“Anais, please unlock the door.”

I could feel mascara falling down and staining my cheeks. Bad day to not wear waterproof mascara.

I sat on the floor until I was just dry heaving. I wanted to disappear and not have to face him ever again. He wasn’t knocking anymore but I knew he was there.

I couldn’t stop the mental images flying into my head. Liddy’s smug face. The goofy look Aaron got momentarily when you took your top off. The fact that they’d shared something which I knew was usually so special to Liddy.

Thinking of them made me angry and gave me the adrenaline to unlock the door. I made eye contact with him. I was hoping I would show him how angry I was but I know all he could see was hurt.

“Anais,” He whispered.

“When?”

“What?”

“When did it happen?”

He closed his eyes and leant against the wall. “Once before we met.” He stopped.

New tears were starting. “And?”

“April. When we were-“

“I know we weren’t together then.” I replied sharply.

Aaron moved towards me, “Don’t touch me!” I shouted.

“Anais, I didn’t-“

“You lied to me.”

“Anais don’t-“

“You let her win! She wanted us apart from the beginning. Oh my god, how did I not guess this? That’s why she was so bitter. It wasn’t me it was it was you.”

“Please just.”

“No.” I’m not listening to this.

“You cheated too!”

I didn’t say anything, just stepped forward and slapped him round the face. It was a good one. The sound reverberated around the house and it emphasised how quiet it had gotten. Aaron’s parents and brother were around somewhere. Listening.

I stayed close to his face, “Don’t you dare compare this to that. This is completely different.”

He stayed silent and held his face, looking down at the ground.

 “Do you need me to tell you how it’s different? For a start I told you straight away. Secondly I didn’t know the guy; he wasn’t one of your fucking friends! And lastly I was drunk.”

“That shouldn’t be an excuse.” He mumbled.

“Fuck you Aaron. I’m not making excuses! You’re the one making excuses!”

“I’m sorry. Anais. I’m sorry.”

“I’m going Aaron.”

He grabbed my arm and I wrenched it from his grip, “Let go of me” I screamed not wanting to be in the proximity of him. “Don’t touch me when you’ve touched her.”

His face contorted in pain. “I never wanted to hurt you.”

“Well congratulations Aaron ‘cos out of everyone who has screwed me over in my life, you win.”

“Anais-“

“Shut up. I wish never let you buy me that beer. I wish I had given you a fake number. I wish I never went to Carluccios that day last year. I wish I never forgave you for lying. I should have known it would happen again.”

“I didn’t know how bad you and Liddy were going to get…”

“Did you know she was the reason I drank so much at New Years?” I walked closer with a sadistic smile on my face, “She was the reason I let that guy touch me. Take me outside. Fuck me against the wall.” It wasn’t true, I couldn’t really remember that night, I think I passed out before we had sex but seeing Aaron’s eyes screw up made me smile because I knew thinking about me and another guy was making him oh so jealous.

I had nothing left to say to him so I went to the front door and started walking down the driveway. Aaron followed. “I love you, Anais.” He said.

I turned around and didn’t feel anything. “What does that mean?”

I got in Kevin’s car and drove off leaving him standing outside his house. As soon as I was far enough away I pulled over on the side of the road and cried until I couldn’t cry any more. It got dark and the fresh tears had completely washed my face of make up. I sat for a while staring into space before I realised I needed to do something.

I went on my way back to London. Saying good bye to Wales.

When I was back in London I went straight to Kevin’s house. I couldn’t go to my apartment. Too many memories I didn’t want to face.

*

Aaron was walking up the stairs to my apartment behind me and I was holding both of his hands. “Just remember, I don’t have much money and a load of stuff was wrecked by my Dad so it’s a bit bare in here at the moment.”

“I’m not going to judge you by your shitty apartment Anais.”

I turned around and pouted. “At least wait until after you’ve seen it to call it shitty.”

He laughed and then followed me inside.

“It’s nicer than you made it out to be.”

“Really?”

“Yeah. It’s cute. Feels like home.”

“And then this…” I dragged him through another door “Is going to be my bedroom.”

At the moment it was just a mattress on the floor with blankets and fairy lights strung around. Aaron smiled. “This is romantic.” He muttered against my lips. “I think we need to christen this room.”

“I’ll go get the holy water.”

He shook his head laughing as he pushed me down onto the mattress.