Call It What You Want - An Aaron Ramsey Fanfiction

Chapter 13

Chapter 13

6am. Stumbling home. There are streamers in the street and more people like me making their way home from New Years Eve parties. They probably don’t feel as bad as me. What am I going to do? I’m not crying yet. I can’t cry yet. Fuck, I need to see him. I change direction and head to Kevin’s. I still have his keys.

I get in his car and start it. And then the engine stops. Fuck. I haven’t driven a car in so long. Second time lucky and I’m off. How do you get to Cardiff? Still trying not to cry.

I keep driving. I try to drown out my thoughts with the radio but it makes my head pound so I turn the volume down again.

I turn my mind to trying to remember last night. I can remember some things… bad enough… but was there more?

I feel sick so I pull into a service station. I throw up in the dirty restrooms. Trying not to touch anything. I text Kevin so he knows it was me who stole his car. Not some random kid.

Back in the car. As I get closer to Cardiff I feel worse and worse. The combination of a hangover and guilt. I feel so disgusted with myself!

And then I’m there. Parked under the apartment block where he’s staying.

I can’t put it off any longer so I’m walking up the stairs, my legs shaking.

When he opens the door he doesn’t know what to do. He was probably going to kiss me but noticed the expression on my face.

I break the silence. “I fucked up.”

He cleared his throat. “Hum… what happened?”

He wasn’t asking me inside so this was going to happen in the hall of the building. “I… I’m so sorry.”

“What did you do?” His voice was harsh.

“I… last night… there was so much drink,” Tears were falling finally, “There was this band…. and I… he bought me drinks… I feel so bad… the guy from the band… I can’t remember what I did…” I reached my hands to touch his face but he pulled away. I was crying harder now. “But I needed to tell you,”

“You definitely did something?” He was still giving nothing away. His face was just blank.

I nodded and he turned away, his face twisted in disgust.

“No! Aaron. Please. I wanted… I want this to work… so much…”

“Well it’s not going to anymore is it?”

“Aaron,”

“For fucks sake Anais. 5 days and you’ve fucked someone else.”

“No… Aaron, I…”

“You really are just a slut.” Saying that he closed the door.

I pushed my hand out, “Fine. But I’ll show you how much I care.”

The door shut and I was left alone.

I wanted to scream and cry. He hadn’t even listened to me. I heard something smash inside and I flinched. I knocked on the door again but nothing happened.

*

“This weekend was really perfect.” I said as I was standing at the train station. It was early in the morning the day after Christmas. It was Aaron’s birthday but I had to get back to London.

“I’m so glad you came.”

“Me too.”

We stood opposite each other. I didn’t want to leave not knowing when I’d be able to get to Cardiff again.