I'm a nerd and i'm dating the quarterback!! and he's a HOTT VAMPIRE!?!?!

Chapter 4

They took my freaking kidney.

I was three, watching Blue's Clues. My dad was tickling me, and he felt something funny. He took me to the hospital. They let me pick a flavor of medicine. I chose bubblegum. I should have chosen watermelon. I never cried. The needles, the pain, the surgery, the sickness. The only thing that made me cry was when my mother brushed my hair.

I wore a hat to keep my hair from falling out. They tried to tell me it didn't work that way. I proved them wrong. I never lost all of my hair. I keep that hat in my room. Every once in a while I'll take it out and try it on, but it's too small for my head now.

I had to sit on the side of the pool and watch my sister swim. There was a tube running from my nose to my chest. It hurt when they pulled it out.

I can still remember the tastes of the medicine they had me on. I had to take the blue one everyday, and it was like drinking sour soap. The pink one tasted like candy, and I looked forward to that one. The white one tasted like death. There was nothing I hated more at that time of my life.

I couldn't swallow pills, so they broke them up and put them in my oatmeal. I ate oatmeal for every meal back then. I hate it now.

My scar was a sense of pride. For years, whenever I met a new kid, I would show off my scar and tell them about my kidney. I eventually learned not to lift up my shirt in public.

My bed had so many balloons on it, I was afraid to sleep in it because it would float away. The dining room was full of every type of stuffed animal and coloring book known to 1998. I still have a lot of those.

One of the nurses would play 'hide the binky' with me every time I came in for a check-up. I would close my eyes while she hid my blanket in various cabinets and corners of the room. I was sad when she was no longer there to play with me. It meant I had to grow up.

It came back when I was seven. Two doctors confirmed it, and they sent me in for a cat scan. The nurses stuck me six times while trying to find a vein for the iv. They gave me six beanie babies. They came in the cat scan with me. Whatever they had seen, it was gone. My hedgehog must have scared it away.

I hated having blood drawn. I sat in my dad's lap and squeezed his hand, trying not to cry. It wasn't the needle that was bad, it was the time it took for them to get it all. They would take my blood pressure first, and I always found it relaxing because the machine was giving my arm a hug before it had to have it's life sucked out of it. I still rely on this to keep my composure.

My hair used to be strawberry blond. After chemo, it grew back darker. I still don't know why it decided to change. I think it was just trying to show it's maturity. It's been through a lot.

I made a friend at the hospital. She had leukemia. I saw her all the time there. But I don't see her anymore. She wasn't lucky like me. She lost more than a kidney. I wish I had known her better.

They told me not to do anything like gymnastics or karate. If anything were to happen to my kidney, that was the only one I had. I was sad, and I had to sit out in P.E. from time to time.

Eventually, I stopped worrying. I could sit by myself while they drew blood, and talk to the nurse. I could play sports and get hurt and not think twice about it. I could cut my hair and not worry if it would ever be long again. I could swim in the pool without any problem. I could tell the world, or I could keep it a secret, because it didn't make a difference. I was whoever I wanted to be, regardless of my single kidney.