Tell Me You Love Me

Moving Day(Ninety-Five)

So they surprised me with a new freaking house yesterday. Yes. They did that. I still cannot believe they did that and I love them so much for it. The thing is, I knew the kids and I wouldn't be able to live in the Poseidon cabin forever. That's ridiculous. And I have been looking for a new house but it all just felt so wrong. It's hard to find a house in New York that's close to camp and work and then there's the fact that I've never bought a house that I won't have Annabeth to live in it with me. 

And when Hazel told me that Annabeth personally designed the house, I started crying. Because I'm sure that she had the intentions of living there with us. My heart felt heavy at first, but as soon as I walked in, I knew it was perfect. And then there was the note on the bed.

Dear Percy,

Rachel asked me to design seven houses because she had a vision about it. I just knew deep down that they were for us. So I put a little bit of a personal touch in all the houses. But I just have this weird feeling. Like someone's walking on my grave. And I don't know if I'll be around to see the house with all of us in it. If that's true, then I'm sorry. I know that if I'm not there it must be terrible for you. I know I'd be absolutely miserable if the tables were turned. I guess-I just wanted to say that I love you. I love you so much and I will always love you. Even in death. So hang in there for me and the kids okay? They need you. Our friends need you. I need you. I love you, Percy. I'll be waiting here in Elysium when you're ready. You know you can't get away from me. Never again.

Love,

Annabeth.

I've read that letter about a million times in the past 24 hours. It blew my mind that she knew. That she knew something  was going to happen. And she wrote me a letter to comfort me. And I still feel that deep pain in my soul everyday. I still feel this unbelievable grief that she's gone and I can't believe that she's really been gone for over a year. Because my pain is still fresh. And it still hurts. And she's right. I'll always love her and she'll always love me. 

Even as teenagers we knew we were probably going to die young. It was just a fact of demigod life. But then as our lives and our relationship grew, I knew I couldn't lose her. And I was willing to fight for my love. But then I did lose her. And she was taken from me.

But of course our love lives on. It could never just die with her. It will always be there. Because as long as I'm alive(or dead) I will always love her to the very depth of my being. And that's a fact.

So anyway, back to moving day. That morning I ran the kids over to Mom's house(she 'hadn't seen them in so long so shame on you, Percy' and she was ecstatic to get to watch them for a little while. I then drove right on back to Camp and packed the few suitcases of clothes and other household-ish items and some of the kids' toys and belongings. On my way out of the cabin, I ran my fingers across the Minotaur horn, still hung on the wall after all of these years. I decided to keep it there for all the other future Poseidon kids to see. Maybe they'd wonder how I got it. Maybe they'd  accomplish greater things.

I drove the car through Camp and through the portal, and then through the busy streets of New Rome. I felt a little ridiculous, but I was not going to lug all that luggage all the way there. 

When I arrived, Will and Nico were already moving boxes into their house while Maria played with something in the yard that looked suspiciously like Mythomagic figures and cards.

Hazel and Frank were there also, but Emily must have been with someone else. Soon after I arrived, the Graces showed up. Piper worked with Malia in a baby carrier on her back and Riley sat to play with Maria. Reyna was the next person to show up and the Valdez family showed up soon after her. Grover didn't show up until later, muttering something about the babies finally sleeping, and feeling bad about leaving Juniper to watch them by herself.

And just like that, moving day was in order. After I got my five or so suitcases into the house, I wandered around, part unpacking and part checking out the place. I made a list on the white board next to the fridge of all the things I still had to do and things I would need to pick up.

Then I went to help everyone else move their things, since they were moving a lot more things from actual houses that had a lot more in them than my burned up apartment and my suitcases of clothes I had to buy.

Leo had a ridiculous amount of knick knacks that were seemingly useless. He always had an excuse and kept claiming he needed all of these things and Calypso would just roll her eyes at him and tell him to get back to work. He'd sweetly give her the finger behind her back and she'd scoff and say, "Saw that, Valdez," and life would go on. 

By the end of that day I was feeling accomplished. Not everyone else was fully moved, unpacked, or settled in, but I was about as close as I was going to get for the moment so I said my goodbyes and headed back to Camp and then drove through the city to pick up the kids. 

I composed a list of things to do in my head, trying to remember the one I made at the house. I would definitely have to go grocery shopping tomorrow. And house things shopping. Maybe I could get Mom to come with?

Walking in the door, I get a tackle hug from Estelle. She's twelve now. In sixth grade. I can't believe how old she's gotten. It feels like I'm seventeen and she was just born yesterday and I was going to the hospital to see her. It's crazy how time works, and the fact that I'm TWELVE years older than I was when I was seventeen and everything was-- well not simple but complex in the teenage demigod kind of way. And now I'm old and I have kids. Funny how that works. But I wouldn't trade it for the world.

Mom comes around the corner with Ethan in one arm and Bianca clinging to the opposite leg. Luke and Ariana tear around the corner, racing each other to get to me. And then they're here and in my arms. I kiss each of their foreheads and stand, ruffling their hair. 

I approach my mom and she backs away with a smile. "Oh no. You're going to take them away from me," she says. Except Ethan holds out his arms for me and says, "Dada," so Mom is kind of obligated to give him to me.

I ask her if she'd like to go shopping and she agrees and soon Estelle is begging to go and then Paul walks in so I guess we're all just going shopping tomorrow. Which is totally awesome. And it's also a plus that I don't have to handle four kids on my own in busy New York.

I kiss my mother's cheek and give Paul a hug. Estelle expects a full blown, running head start, jump hug and I have to comply so that's what happens. And then we're out the door, promising to see each other the very next day.