The Newcomer (SEMI-ON HOLD)

Chapter Eighteen

I was so distracted this week!!! I only started writing this chapter Tuesday, so I'm very sorry for the delay!

My eyes sprung open the moment my alarm goes off. I groan, rolling over. My eyes sting. Every part of me wishes I can unsee what I saw last night. I hoped a night of sleep would make it go away, but I guess you need proper sleep for that. A lump grew in my throat and I swallow hard, but that didn't stop the tears from streaming down my face. It's not supposed to hurt so much, right?

But I love her, that's why it hurt so much to see her kiss someone else; her best friend.

I pick my phone up, glancing at the screen, ignoring the vast text messages and missed calls that invaded my home screen. I don't think I have the strength to talk to anyone this early in the morning. Especially this morning. I got up and dragged myself to the bathroom. It's 8:00 and I have work in an hour. I glance at myself in the mirror and scoffed at my appearance.

A girl with blood-shot, puffy eyes stares back at me. This girl is a zombie but I didn't expect anything else. I splash cold water in my face, hoping that will rid any evidence of the crying from last night. No one should see me like this, especially my mom and dad. I don't like explaining this kind of thing, mostly because I don't think my dad will understand anyway.

I sat in the kitchen, a cup of coffee in my hands, staring blankly at the wall. Im alone in the kitchen, and silence just filled the room; so much room for the image to haunt me before my eyes... Over and over again, and it wrenches my heart. Its like my brain is stuck on that, and I can't think about anything else. That wasn't just a random kiss. She loved Veronica before. And probably still do. Anyone who has seen that picture can see it. I see it. It's something very difficult to digest.

I jump in my seat, whirling around when I hear footsteps from the stairs. My dad walks in the kitchen. Oh god. Worst timing ever. The tension rose in the kitchen rose. I looked at my dad, hoping he would acknowledge my presence properly for once, but he just looked at me with emptiness in his eyes. Uh oh. Here we go.

Please, not now.

When he spoke, I go rigid. "Your... school sent me an email yesterday." He pours coffee into his mug, avoiding looking at me as always. "They want you to go... to New York. For what?"

I shrugged, unsure of how to respond to his venomous tone. "An open house at NYFA." I answer quietly, my voice shaking.

He frowns, shaking his head dismissively before asking dryly, "So you're going?"

"I didn't decide yet." I muttered, looking down at the steam coming from my cup.

There was silence when he walked past me. "Thats unusual," he starts, and the tension threatens to choke me at any second. "You seem to always make up your mind on your own these days."

How dumb is it that I actually prefer to be alone instead of being in the same room as my dad? When he walks out, I didn't even realise I was holding my breath until he left. Every time we are in the same room, he doesn't even say anything but I can always feel his disappointment when he looks at me and it's suffocating! I can never make him proud of me for... being who I am. I groan, rubbing my hand over my face frustratedly.

If that's what he wants me to feel, then what's the point of staying in Illinois after high school? Dad clearly doesn't want anything to do with me if I don't do what he wants, so why not just go? Its frustrating! This whole time I was worried about going to New York for a few days because I'm worried of my parents' reaction... but, fuck, I have nothing to lose anymore with them. At least I can get away from here. Even for just a while.