Fighter

Chapter Twelve

I walked into my new room. It was the same size as our Head room except it was all for me. A massive set of cream doors clicked shut behind me, they were at least twice my height and they were ornately decorated with gold vines and flowers. I pulled my black heels off and flung them into the corner of the room, the delicate carpet was soft under my feet and it cushioned my fall as I fell to my knees and clutched my head in my hands. The tears streamed down my face as I wrenched at my hair, willing it to come out and all my pain with it, but it stood fast. The sobs made my body ache and yearn for the touch of a calmer human being but no-one came; I was alone in this large, clean room and there was nothing I wanted more than to rip it to pieces and make it look like the inside of my head, a disgusting, torn mess. I was a mess without my mother, a wreck without my best friend and nothing without my first love. My tears ran faster and faster as I collapsed to the right and laid on my back looking up at the ceiling. The gold fleur-de-lis's on the ceiling provided a strange, calming distraction to my deep torment and my sobs calmed as I traced their outlines with my eyes. Suddenly there was a burst of sunlight that tore through the half pulled curtains and bounced off of the giant chandelier right into my inspecting eyes. I winced and turned my head, blocking my eyes from the sunlight, the sun passed and I turned my head back to the ceiling, but not before something caught my eye. I looked back toward the direction of the bed and where I thought I saw something. There was a small brown box shape wedged in between the mattress's, I frowned at the object and got up on my feet and scuttled towards the bed. I ducked down and lodged my hand around the box, wrenching as hard as I could, the box came free. I turned it around in my hands and saw it was a book, an old, yellowing book but a book none the less. I opened it and read the first page. 

Diary of Vanessie Taylor

I furrowed my eyebrows and tears flowed from my eyes I took a deep breath and turned the page, "12th September 2011" I said aloud. "The day I came here" I whispered to myself, 

Diary, 

Today is the day she arrives at Dean House, my dear daughter finally home. I remember the day I left her, it was the same day I came back. I was gone two hours, but it seemed it was enough for Marcus to try and hurt us. I remember my heart dropping into my feet as I stared at the ash and the broken pieces of timber lying in a smoldering heap before me. I remember I fell to my knees as though my legs could support me no more and I wanted the ground to swallow me up. I remember I thought she was dead, the horrible sensation of feeling responsible for letting her die at the hands of that evil maniac. The sad thing is, no matter what he did to her, I'll always love him, I'll always love Marcus. He was my first love and I though I will never forgive him he will always live on as my husband in my heart. Dianne visited me yesterday, for the first time in 16years, 16 years without my best-friend and until she came I didn't realise how much it affected me. I fell into her arms as soon as she walked through the door, we sat and cried in each others arms for about 10 minutes, just relishing in each others company. I asked her when I could see my daughter but she simply shook her head. It honestly devastated me to see my best friend denying me the right to see her, to see my baby girl but I had to suck it up. I'd see her, just not as soon as I hoped. I promise you my dear baby Jessica, I will find you and I will show you how much I've missed you and how much I love you. 

Love, 

Vanessie

I clamped my hand over my mouth to stop the sobs, how did it get here? This book was my mothers, were there more because the first page of this was dated 2011. Did she always keep a diary?

"Yes, she did, she was obsessed with them", came a calm voice from behind me. I spun around and saw Mrs Havisham dressed in her little black dress and large black hat. Her eyes were red and she looked like she'd been crying, "I used to ask her if I could read them but she'd never allow me to get within a mile of them"