Happily Ever After (The Drug Lord's Wife #5)

No Redemption

Chapter 37

Jennifer

I hate being pregnant.

Everyone makes you think it's about having glowing skin and being content with carrying a child. Like everything is perfect. Well let me be the one to set the record straight it is not. I was living proof of that as I hugged the toilet seat throwing up. Great, I'm going to have morning sickness... again. It's not like Maria and Fitz we're easy pregnancies. In fact, they were so hard they were sucking the calcium out of my teeth like parasites. And those weren't my words those will the words of my dentist. I had never been anemic in my life but I was with the twins. My feet swoll up to the point where I couldn't walk for my last two months and my back always killed me. And of course, it all started with morning sickness.

Thankfully, everyone was gone, I was just going to stay here on the hardwood bathroom floor until I felt better. For all my complaining it wasn't that bad because I had Adam. If I was throwing up he was there with me holding my hair back with water and crackers. If my feet hurt to the point where I couldn't walk he stayed home and helped me. And when I came home hysterical about losing my teeth he listen to me and then found me another dentist. And he gave the best back rubs.

I smiled, running my hand over my stomach, remembering how out of his way Adam went for me. Even before I had the babies Adam when out of his way for me but he really went the extra mile. Like shipping in a crate of Almond Joy from the U.S. because I craved them like crack.

Or the time I didn't even ask, I just off handedly said,'I could go for some bacon'. He made it for me. And I was horny 70% of my day. Which I don't think Adam minded.

This time I had to be better. Stronger.

I puke into the toilet as if God himself was laughing at me. I had a thousand things I needed to do and no energy to even think about them.

How did my mother do this?

"She didn't", Edgar said appearing next to me lying down on his back.

"I'm ignoring you just like Dr. Allison said to do. I only feed into my craziness when I engage", I said forcing myself to stand up.

"You already have", Edgar said making a damn good point. Well shit. "Anyways, your mother didn't do anything other than push you out. She had Nancy. Just like how you have Connie. If we're done being a rock, why don't you just buy help?"

My arms were shaking as I tried to push myself off of the toilet. I finally caved and laid back down on the ground,"Because we don't need strangers in our house right now. They could be anyone".

"Then call Connie back or ask Nate and Josh", Edgar recommended. I didn't want to tell anyone about the pregnancy until I knew my body was strong enough to carry it. After three months I would know if I was having this baby or not. I'm wanted to have this baby and I prayed I didn't have a miscarriage. But if I kept stressing myself out over every little thing I would be heading down that road.

I ignored Edgar's question.

I need someone that can help me. Someone that can pick up the ball and keep everything moving. I needed...Dani. Everything she did for Adam I need and more. I pulled out my cell phone and sent her a quick text. She probably wanted to spend Christmas with her family. But, I was desperate.

I waited for a response but didn't get one.

Strange.

I called her.

I got a recording saying this number has been disconnected please hang up and dial again. I didn't know how to reach Danielle if she didn't pick up her phone. Did something happen? She didn't tell us if she and Leo were getting engaged or not. I'll ask Liam when he comes back after Christmas.

Vvvzzzzzttttt vvvvvzzztttt vvvvzzzttt

Alejandro was calling me.

I answered saying,"Yes?"

"It would seem you pissed off some very interesting people. Isn't that right Hugo", I sat up.

Who is Hugo?

"I have what I need. It's up to you if Mr. Hugo and his beautiful family lives", I heard a woman cry out in pure terror.

"How many children?" I said disconnected.

"Four", he said.

A women screamed out,"Por favor no mis hijos!" There was no sound in the house. Every muscle felt tight, sprung for action and I couldn't walk. I tried to focus on my breathing, but my anxiety bubbled inside my rib cage, I felt sicker. 

I know what I have to do.

I close my eyes and took a deep breath. There were lines I never wanted to cross. And once I step foot over that line that was no going back, no redemption. But, this has to be done.

"Do it", as soon as the words left my lips I heard gunfire rang out. I covered my mouth as silent tears gushed from my eyes.

I heard a chair drag on Alejandro side of the phone,"That takes care of the shooter. I'll be in touch with more information once I check out this lead".

I ended the call and threw up.

Whatever it takes, I will do.

I will be strong for my family and come with me I will do whatever is necessary. No matter the cost.

It will be done.

I stood up and went to the sink running the faucet and putting my mouth up to and I rinsed out my mouth. I as I stood straight I stared at my reflection in the mirror like I was stranger to my own self. My eyes rolled critically over my face.

Have I always been like this?

I stared into my dark brown eyes as if they held the answers.

My deepest fears clawed at the base of my throat and buried themselves in my chest, quickening the gentle thud of my heart. Closing my eyes and leaning over the sink I took solace in my imagination; a transient fortress that only I could enter. I pressed my head against the cool glass and I was taken back to a simpler time. Before children, before marriage, before Adam, before Nate and before I even had a clue to who I was. When I was just a girl from Missouri.

I don't see a trace of her anymore. She was hopeful, optimistic, passionate and funny.

I felt Edgar's paw touch my cheek. I didn't open my eyes because I wasn't going to engage with him anymore,"She was a child", Edgar said softly. I peeked my eyes opened,"And every decision you've made has made you the person you are today. Good or bad. You know what happens when you leave loose ends they come back with a vengeance. The women that stands before me understand what's at risk", pushed off of the sink and walked out of the bathroom heading down the hallway Edgar walked by my side,"You have the wisdom to know when to lead and when to follow. The courage and the heart to stay true to yourself and your family. This war has just begun, Jennifer. Sacrifices have to be made", I nodded in agreeance. "Whatever it takes, you will be the victor".

Yes.