Happily Ever After (The Drug Lord's Wife #5)

Two Fingers

Chapter 35

Jennifer

"WWAAHH! Wwwaaahhh", Maria wailed as I tried to rock her,"Wwwaaa! WWWAAAHHH!" I stood up and walked back and forth throughout the plane. I knew why she was upset her ears were probably ringing from the pressure change.

"It's okay, mommy had you", it didn't matter she just continue to cry and cry and cry. If she kept it up she was going to get sick. I looked over to Adam who seemed comfortable?

"She never crys with Connie", I said just needing someone to talk to. I tried everything, a bath, soothing lotion, relaxing music, ambient music, rocking nothing worked.It was going to be a long flight and Connie was dealing with Fitz and Alma. I looked down at my phone, nine hours until we make it to Helsinki Airport.

With a colicky baby.

The least I could do was take care of Maria. Lara was taking a nap in her bedroom. I was hoping for some bonding time with her, but right now I would settle for a drink. In fact, I hit the call button, one of the stewardess would come eventually.

Pregnant! No drinking.

No coffee.

No fish.

No picking up Alma.

A lot of nos.

Damn it, sparkling lemonade would just have to do.

I sat down across from Adam with Maria and gently started to rock back and forth. Praying that she would eventually calm herself down.

Or.

I looked directly at Adam and said I'm taking a page out of,"Celine's book", I look down at Maria exhausted,"You have to stop baby".

Just stop!

We've only been up in the air for maybe thirty minutes.

"Hello, ma'am what can I get for you?" A stewardess said pushing a white cart with the biggest forced smile.

"A shot of gin and and the biggest cup of sparkling pink lemonade. Just bring the bottle, please", I said rocking like I belonged in a mental institution.

"Right away", She said porn me my shot and placing a bottle of pink lemonade in front of me with a crystal glass,"Anything else?"

I looked to Adam. Once I got Maria down we could try and get him to drink with a straw. "Just water", I said has Maria hit a whole new screeching tone.

She poured me my water and quickly disappeared. I wanted to do the same thing, so I can't fault her from wanting to run away,"Okay, we're going to take a nice long nap", I said dipping two of my fingers into the shot and then running them across Maria's gums.

She did not like that. She shivered with disgust running her tongue across her small pink mouth.
Then continued her whaling piercing through my mind. It was hard to believe it came from such a tiny creature, I wanted to ignore it but it was impossible. It sounded like the screeching of an angry cat, only growing harsher and louder.

Two fingers.

I gave her another finger shot. And ten minutes later she had finally calm down. "Thank God", I looked over to Adam who had watched the whole thing play out. If he could talk I know he would be screaming no. Or maybe saying how could I do such a thing. "I know, I'm terrible", but I am working on it. I had a therapist, and besides our two times a week check in we finally found a medication that would work for a pregnant woman.

I reach down into Maria's baby bag and pull out her monitor. I gave her "two shots" of alcohol if anything started to happen I would know. I thought slipping on the small white band on to her ankle. As terrible as it sounds I didn't want to hold Maria anymore so I put her in her carseat next to me.

I stood up and went to sit beside Adam. "Don't judge me", I said picking up the glass of water and putting the straw into his mouth. He blinked no.

"Thank you", I waited to see if he could suck on the straw. No luck.

But, we kept trying.

In silence, it felt unnatural being quiet around Adam. I told him everything. So I started to talk about anything and everything that came to mine,"I told the therapist that-- that I'm a bad mom. Did I ever tell you you were right? I don't think so", I said trailing off. "You don't want to listen to me complain. Especially, when I have nothing to really complain about it should be you that complains", he blinked no. The therapist was like any other therapist and psychologist my feelings are validated. Because I pay you a shit ton of money for them to have meaning. Everytime Dr  Allison and I  had a meeting she always said,'If you think about it, really think about it, your reaction proves you are loving. It proves you care about your kiddo, endlessly and unselfishly, and you it proves you want the best for them'. And I always reply back but that doesn't help me. It doesn't make me want to pick up the twins anymore than when we started this session an hour ago. I was asking too much, just like how Adam had to be patient I did too. Things take time.

"Careful you may become my real-life Edgar. Yeah, I have a shitload of problems. But this it's probably more healthier than talking to figments of my imagination. Or is it?" I didn't really know about that. "Whenever you get tired of me talking, just start blinking a lot and I'll know to shut up".

I saw a faint small tug of his mouth almost like he was trying to smile,"O you like that?" I laughed. I put the water down and rested my head on his shoulder. " Alejandro is going to find out who did this to you", I exhale deeply staring off into a future I couldn't see,"Whoever did this, whatever they're hiding I'll find them", The need for revenge was like a rat gnawing at my soul, relentless, unceasing, it could only be stopped by the cold steel of a rat trap, a trap I would devise myself. What I can only describe as pure hate was festering like a septic wound, and the only effective antibiotic is cold hard revenge.

Savage.

Spiteful.

Unforgiving.

"But you don't need to worry about that. The only thing you need to be concerned with is getting better", I quickly changed the topic,"This will be the first Christmas it's just us", because everyone lives so close Adam and I normally ended up hosting Christmas and Michael and Sara hosted New Year's. "Which reminds me I need to start shopping for Christmas and wrapping gifts", I need to get my shit together as far as being a parent is concerned Connie was taking off so she could be with her own family for the holidays and it wouldn't be until late January when she came back to us.

I can do this.