When I'm With You (REWRITING)

CHAPTER 45

I get out of the stall with the plastic stick grasped tightly in my hand. I place it on the sink, away from myself, knowing it's only going to make my more anxious. 

I couldn't explain what I was feelings. It was between the verges of being sick and nervousnes and I hated more then ever. 

Janyce sits on the counter, right next to the test and looks down at it. "What are you going to do?" 

I look at her in confusion as I wash my hands. 

"If it turns out positive?" 

I didn't think that far until she said it. 

What the hell am I going to do? 

"I-I don't know Janyce, I'm still young, and Kaz-" I pause, drying my hands against my pants. "I don't know what he'll say or act." 

We stay in bathroom in silence after that. Nothing but raw thoughts clouding my mind. 

I've always wanted kids, there was no doubt about that. However, I wanted kids after I got married and settled down. After I found a stable job and had a home to live in.

But like the future, you never know what will end up happening. There was no say in how my life changed and how well I had adapted to it. 

"Dee?" Janyce voice was soft, tripping me out of my mind. 

I gesture at her to read the test. Not only because I know I'm too scared too to find on my own but because I knew Janyce had already looked down to see the results. 

Janyce gives me a small smile as she jumps off the counter with the dilcate test in her hand. She hands me the test upside down, making me bite my bottom. 

I was completely over edge and I honestly couldn't read what the result was from her face.

"It's a positive,"   

My lips part as I look at her in disbelief, not knowing if I want to believe her. I look down at the flipped over test and turn it back over. 

My eyes water as I look at two blue lines fately appear on the test. "Oh my God," I whipser at myself, completely forgetting Janyce was there. 

I'm not ready. I'm not ready for this step. 

"Hey," Janyce holds my wrists gently as a sign of comfort. "Lets go back to the doctor and we'll figure this out from there, okay?"

I nod slowly, still looking down at the positive test in my hand. 

I can't believe I let this happen. 

We walk back to the doctor in silence, entering the room while she was on the phone, talking. "- Sorry, I'm going to have to call you back, Dave. Thank you!" Her cheery voice was so irony to me. 

We both sat down at of seats, Janyce looking at the doctor while I looked down at my lap. 

"How'd we go ladies," she pushes her frame further up her noses as the pen in her hand flickers against the folder. 

"Uh." I hold out the test and place it in front of her.  

She looks down and beams at me. "Congratulations! You're soon to be a mother!" She clasps her hands together in surprise. 

"Thanks." I give her a small smile, looking back down at my lap. 

 She must have read the room, noticing I wasn't as excited as she was for me. "Is everything ok?" 

"It's just-" I voice, trying to keep the lump in my throat down making it hurt slightly. "I'm not sure if I'm ready to become a mother." 

"That's okay, darling." She puts her hand over mine and gives it a little squeeze. "This is your choice. There are other paths you can go from this situation, but please think about it careful, Dee."