The Key to Ruling a Broken Kingdom (Girl x Girl)

22: Persephonie

Cedric took Persephonie on a hunting trip. Also, Megan is sick and in Persephonie's bedroom.

Song: What About Us by P!nk

After Cedric left, I climbed back into the carriage and closed the door. It was warmer in here than it was outside. Oh, how I despised the cold! And hunting trips. I never really understood why Cedric wants me to come with him if he only ever ends up leaving me at the carriage. When Louis took me hunting, he would allow me to go with him, and he would identify the plants and trees. We would pick fruit and feed each other, and sometimes use it as bait.

I missed Louis. There wasn't a day that passed that I didn't think about him. I would give almost anything to see him again. Just once more. He meant the world to me. He still does. I felt tears forming in my eyes and I blinked them away. It had been over three years since his death, and I still wasn't completely over it. If I was like this, how was Cedric holding up?

I didn't really want to marry Cedric. I loved him and would die for him, but not the way he loved me. I saw him as a brother, and when I Father had asked me if I would be fine marrying Cedric, I had said yes. Because at the time, I still didn't know the difference between loving Cedric and loving Louis. I thought I could fill the Louis shaped hole in my heart with Cedric. I figured they were close enough.

But I was wrong, and I realized that a little too late. I wanted to tell Father that I couldn't marry Cedric, but I knew it would break his heart. I knew that he would be in pain, and I would be the reason for his tears. He had already lost his brother and parents. I didn't know how he would hold up with only Lillian and Miles to support him. And they both were barely seven years of age!

The driver and steward were having a whispered conversation, and they both kept looking back at me. Finally, annoyed, I asked, "What is it?"

Both men looked surprised. "What is what, Princess?" The driver asked.

"Why do you keep looking back at me?"

"It's just that... before we left... we got word that a commoner was in your sleeping quarters," the Steward said.

"And?" I demanded, a bit strictly.

"That is all Princess" the driver said, and he returned to his whispered conversation with the Steward.

Megan.

My thoughts raced back to two years ago. How could I have left her like that? What I did in the courtyard those years ago seemed so unlike me! Perhaps I had been possessed. Yes, that would be it. I would never had demanded that Megan never see me again. It must have been an evil spirit, possessing me at the time. But I still remember the rage, the confusion, and the passion I felt for her at that single moment.

I had been angry. So angry. All I could see was red, rage flowing through my veins, and my jaw had hurt from clenching it so hard. All I heard was a ringing in my ears, and I wanted to kick something. Throw something. Punch something. I wanted to yell bloody murder at the top of my lungs.

But something had stopped me. I thought it was passion, but I began to realize that it couldn't have been. Passion is not enough to stop my raging. Passion would not have been enough to prevent me from hurting somebody. It must have been love. It had to be love. Perhaps love out of loyalty. But to who? Megan? All the anger I felt was towards her. My people? That didn't make any sense. I was eleven at the time and didn't care. Then... who was the loyalty directed towards?

But rage and anger hadn't been the feelings I stressed most about. It was confusion. Confusion as to what Megan had meant when she said, "I don't think I could've loved you if you were a boy." That didn't make sense. How could she not love a boy? If she couldn't love a boy, then who could she love? A girl? A woman?

That isn't possible. A girl can not love another girl. At least, not romantically. A girl must love a boy. That's how it always has been, and that is how it always should be. That's how it always will be. Megan must not have been thinking straight. Or I must've heard her wrong in all my rage. I would ask her and everything would soon be sorted out, and Megan and I would become friends again. Just like we used to be, all those years ago.

It's been so long since Megan and I shared the same bed. I had almost forgotten what it was like to sleep next to her. But I'll find out soon enough. After Megan warms up and feels better. Everything will go back to the way it used to be. It has to. There is no way it can't.

A/N: Just a chapter to analyze and clarify Persephonie's current feelings on Megan. I still have testing going on, but meh. Also, if you guys find any plot holes and such, please feel free to point them out. This story is only a second draft. Vote and Comment!!