Vampblood Academy

[34] Connections

As my thoughts go through all around my mind because of the secret Charlotte and Nathan told me earlier,mi realized I wasn't the only one who felt pathetic about the academy, I didn't felt a bit of guilt because I know were both right about our decisions.

"Hey" Nathan said

"Oh hi."

"You-ah, you alright?"

"Yeah, why what's wrong?"

"The secret."

"Actually I feel confident"

"Why?"

"Because I'm not the only one who thinks the academy is really pathetic"

He laughed

"Why are you laughing?"

"Well you're so cute when you laugh."

"What?"

"Janeia I love you-still."

"We've talked about this remember?"

"Yeah 4 years ago."

"But Nathan-"

"He's isn't good enough for you." He cut in.

"How can you say that?"

"Janeia I've been here since we were 8 years old, but that Steven showed up when we were 11."

"And? What's your point?"

"My point is you're so blinded about that douche while you can't notice a guy like me, I loved you first, I'm here longer than him."

"But-"

"Think of it Janny, I know you don't love me that much but please someday learn to love me and I know you will."

"I'll try my best."

"Thank you Janny." He hugged me

"But I really can't promise you anything." My tears flowed.

"Shhh shhh I know it hard to forget but I'm willing to wait."

"Thank you Nate"

He kissed me.

"Whoa, what are you doing."

"I'm proving myself to you."

"Why?"

"Please understand."

"Dude were in the living room."

"Here."

He carried me upstairs and we lied down in his bed.

"No Nathan, we can't do this."

"Why not?"

"We're not even a couple, were only friends."

"Friends with benifits." He corrected as he kissed me

"But that was a long time ago."

Yes, we are fact the 'friends with benifits.' Yes we kiss but we definitely don't have sex, no I'm not that kind of a slut, I'm admitting I have a lot of crushes but how can I stop? It's just crush. But I feel diffrent.

I just can't do this, we stopped this 1 year ago and I can't repeat it all over again after 1 year, it just seems so wrong to have a connection with your friend especially when it's like a friends with benefits relationship.

"So?"

"I don't want it to happen again"

He stopped.

"I'm sorry but I love you" I kissed him.

Ok, this is really wrong, but I did it, i didn't mean it but it just happened, what am I going to do? It's already happening, I think I have poison in my heart and brain or something

Am I really considered a slut?oh no please I don't want to, but I know I'm acting like one. This is so weird.