My Second Love ✓

18. Shocking Realization

Khushi's Pov

"What will you do if he's not siddharth? Will you start afresh with me? Or Mourning over your lover's death for whole life?"

What the hell? Why did he turn the tables now?

"I asked you arnav. What will you do if I want to go back? Don't turn the question towards me" I tried to keep my nervousness to myself. His stance changed from grim to calm. He must be happy for turning the tables.

What if he sticks to this topic pestering for my answer? What will I tell then? What do I want? Can I forget siddharth? NO. Can I break everyone heart to lead a life with siddharth? But he is dead..DEAD...

"Don't you think we're arguing unnecessarily wasting our time when siddharth existence is still a question?" I tried to dodge the topic as I have no answer to his question. I cannot lead a life with arnav when my heart is still beating for siddharth.

But can I start afresh with him? How can I accept siddharth when all these years I kept living alone believing my love is dead so as my heart. But is it true? If it is dead then how the hell I reacted to arnav advances? How the hell I reacted to his kisses? The flashes of four days of my married life played before my eyes like it happens today. I noticed each and every facial expression of him when I say, I hate him. Why everytime his touches and his loving stares did something to me? When he lifted me for the first time when he held my hands and waist and the loving kiss...Even now his closeness chills my body. Every time something happens, I took it as a distraction but...Did I forget siddharth? Did I start accepting arnav? Then where's my love for siddharth???

Offoo..Where did I land myself? Can't even decide what I want. It was even more confusing now.

Already my head starts aching. I need a calm atmosphere to clear my mind. Only then I can decide what I want from arnav and this life and SIDDHARTH.

"You know what, you're fearing about your own feelings. That's why you're trying to cover up and pointing towards me. Take your own time, think wisely and decide what do you want in this life. And mind it your decision should be clear, this time keep ME in your mind. You're not alone to decide according to your own wishes. Your each and every decision was related to me and my family" He repeated what I said two days back.

He's hell-bent on using my words and pointing it towards me. Thank goodness, at least he gave me time. With this time hopefully I'll find some information about siddharth.

"I'll ask my secretary to find about siddharth. Be ready to give some details about siddharth and your time will end when we find about siddharth" He stated nonchalantly and left outside.

What the hell? It seems he likes to keep me on toes. Why the hell siddharth has to come before me after three long years? It would have been peaceful if he didn't appear before me. Why he left me alone these years? What is his problem? Did he...forget old memories?

Chi..Chi...How would that happen? Agrhh..HE DIED IN FRONT OF ME...

Smacking my forehead, keeping my face in palms I took deep breathe only to lift my face when someone sat beside me.

"When you came Meera? Where are others?" I asked noticing it was meera.

"They are coming in another car" she said blankly.

What happened to her?

Checking her body temperature by placing my hands on her forehead I asked without assuming anything "Why are you looking dull? Any problem?"

"I have no problem, but you Have" I couldn't predict where these talks are going. What she meant by I have a problem, maybe she is talking about my health.